I love eccentric candidates who run for office. A real winner is Kinky Friedman who is running as an Independent for governor in Texas. Kinky is an off-colour Jewish comedian, a mystery writer, an animal advocate and former front man of the satirical country band Kinky Friedman & the Texas Jewboys. He wants to de-wussify Texas. He is a serious contender although not expected to win. The other night he even appeared on David Letterman. And if Jesse Ventura can become a governor then why not Kinky?
His policy positions are equally wacky. If elected, Mr. Friedman will appoint his friend and supporter Willie Nelson the state's energy czar because he champions biodiesel. He is a proponent of "Slots for Tots" (legalizing casino gambling to fund education).
As for the Mexican migrant dilemma, he has suggested giving five Mexican generals US$1-million each to patrol a section of the border. Every time an illegal immigrant sneaks into the United States, US$5,000 would be deducted from the responsible general's trust fund.
He has some great quotes:
- I just want Texas to be No. 1 in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.
- I'm not pro-life, and I'm not pro-choice. I'm pro-football.
- I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us
- I grieve that NASCAR people never go to the lesbians' tea-houses, and the lesbians never go to NASCAR.
- I don't eat tamales in the barrio and then go to a black church and eat fried chicken and then go have a bagel with a Jew. I treat all people the same. If you ain't Texan, I ain't got time for you.
- Moses and Jesus are big figures in this church that's in my heart. Both of them are good Jewish boys, and they both got in a little trouble with the government. Jesus would be enjoying this campaign very much.
- Politics is the only field in which the more experience you have, the worse you get. And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.
- The two major parties blew $100 million in the last governor's race to elect a candidate to a job that pays $100,000 a year. And for all that money spent, less than 30% of us bothered to show up at the polls.