Saturday, February 03, 2007

Not That Would Be Worth Watching

Simon, Paula, Randy and ... Courtney??? Hold on to your remotes, Idolites, because legendary rock idol Courtney Love tells Usmagazine.com exclusively that American Idol wants her!

I promise you - if Paula Abdul is replaced by Courtney Love on American Idol, I will watch every single second of the show. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

It’s entirely like that the show wants her as a guest judge rather than as a boozy, drugged up replacement for boozy, drugged up Abdul. But even Courtney Love as a guest judge guarantees my rapt attention.

Letterman 25 Years Ago


Finally found a picture of Dave and Bill from the early days.

I Want to Inflict Serious Harm on This Guy

A spammer whom Dutch authorities say e-mailed more than 9 billion unwanted advertisements for products like erection pills faces a hefty fine: If he needs headache medication or debt relief there's probably an unsolicited ad in his own inbox.

Friday, February 02, 2007

Al Gore nominated for Nobel Peace Prize

Former Vice President Al Gore was nominated for the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize for his wide-reaching efforts to draw the world’s attention to the dangers of global warming, a Norwegian lawmaker said Thursday. Conservative Member of the Norwegian Parliament Boerge Brende joined political opponent Heidi Soerensen of the Socialist Left Party to nominate Gore as well as Canadian Inuit activist Sheila Watt-Cloutier before the nomination deadline expired Thursday.

Norwegian lawmakers are among the thousands of people and groups with rights to nominate Nobel candidates. Others include members of national governments, past laureates, members of the awards committee and its staff, and many university professors.

I think its wonderful that he is getting recognition for the work he has done. But for me the award has been tarnished after it went to Yasser Arafat in 1994. In hindsight the Oslo Agreement was a failure and he continued to support terrorism when it suited him.

Public Service Announcement: Britney Spears


Always have a pair of clean underwear. And make sure you are wearing them too.

Letterman's Anniversary

I was surprised to see Letterman last night because he had been off all week and CBS had been airing previous shows. He obviously wanted to celebrate his 25 continuous years on air. He indicated that he still be with NBC but they caught him making personal calls.

His first guest was Bill Murray who happened to have been his first guest 25 years ago on NBC and also his first guest when he moved to CBS.

The Spin from Olmert

Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert testified this week before the Winograd Committee investigating the Lebanon war last summer, explaining why the decisions he made in the course of the war were correct in light of the information available to him at the time. The two main issues under discussion were the decision to go to war in the wake of the kidnapping of two soldiers along the Lebanon border on July 12, and the decision to expand the ground campaign in the last two days of the fighting despite the fact that a draft resolution on a cease-fire was already being discussed in United Nations channels.

The Prime Minister's Office refused to comment on Olmert's testimony, but remarks since the war indicate the testimony may have included the following:

* Israel won the war, succeeding in pushing Hezbollah away from Israel's northern border, bringing about the deployment of the Lebanese army and UN peacekeeping forces and destroying Hezbollah's long-range rocket arsenal.

The public isn't buying it. A recent Israeli poll shows that 77% of the public are dissatisfied with the performance of Prime Minister Ehud Olmert.

Willie Predicts Early Spring


Wiarton Willie says the winter that arrived late to most regions of Canada will give way to an early spring. The country's most famous weather prognosticating rodent failed to see his shadow when roused from his slumber this morning.

Three out of three groundhogs polled report that spring will come early this year. Shubenacadie Sam, a resident of Shubenacadie, N.S., came out of his home Friday morning, and didn't see his shadow. Sam's forecast was quickly backed up by reports from Punxsutawney Phil of Pennsylvania and Wiarton Willie.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Public Service Announcement: Mel Gibson

We need to be more tolerate of people who are different....like those Jews!

Public Service Announcement: Nicole Ritchie

Hey everyone! Don't drink and drive. Snorting coke is way better.

So you can now get arrested in Boston for owning Lite Brites?

David Letterman

Tonight will be the 25th anniversary of David Letterman's late night stint on TV which began on NBC. His first guest back then was Bill Murray. Dave actually started off as a weekend TV weatherman in Indianapolis in the 70s.

I'm huge fan of Dave and his dry sarcastic sense of humour. In the early days it was on display on a regular basis but he has mellowed over the years. He could be antagonistic with guests and had some well known fights with Madonna, Cher and Shirley MacLaine. His early stunts were just plain wacky such as shouting at pedestrians from an upper floor at the Rockefeller Centre that he was the NBC president and he had no pants on. I loved his early regulars such as Chris Elliott as the "Man Under the Seats" and Larry "Bud" Melman, and his early quirky antics (Stupid Pet Tricks, Elevator Races, the Top Ten List). He is the master of irony.

I'm hoping for many more years of Dave.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Bush Commits One Additional Troop To Afghanistan


In an effort to display his administration's willingness to fight on all fronts in the War on Terror, President Bush said at a press conference Monday that American ground forces in Afghanistan will be aided by the immediate deployment of Marine Pfc. Tim Ekenberg of Camp Lejeune, NC.

I want the American people to know that I have not forgotten that our battle for freedom began in Afghanistan, rooting out the extremists of al-Qaeda and the Taliban," Bush said. "Today, I am ordering the deployment of the 325th Marine Expeditionary Brigade, Private Tim Ekenberg, to the embattled Kandahar region."

"We will take whatever measures necessary to win," Bush added. "Isn't that right, Tim?"

Ekenberg is scheduled to arrive in Afghanistan on Friday. His duties include providing full military support for the still-tenuous democratic government, resolving potential conflicts between rival warlords, gathering intelligence for his superiors, delivering humanitarian relief to millions of Afghan citizens displaced by factional warfare, and maintaining a high level of personal physical fitness.

Ekenberg's most vital assignment, however, will be to patrol approximately 1,200 square miles of volatile territory on the Afghan–Pakistani border and conduct search-and-destroy missions on the estimated 40,000 caves where U.S. intelligence sources believe Osama bin Laden and his al-Qaeda operatives could be hiding.

The top U.S. commander in Afghanistan, 2nd Lt. Jon Pinard, said that Ekenberg will be a valuable addition to his existing military assets.

"Our Marines are the best-equipped and best-trained in the world, and I have it on good authority that Tim is an especially well-trained Marine," Pinard said. "We have requested that he receive full logistical support while deployed in this theater. We've been told that his body armor will be arriving within six months of his reporting for duty, budget permitting."

"We welcome the 325th and have plenty of work for him over here," he added.

The troop surge also seemed to boost morale among the thousands of servicemen and -women already on the ground in Afghanistan, who said they hoped Ekenberg would relieve some of the psychological pressures of being outnumbered by unknown and unidentifiable combatants in a foreign land far from home.

"I can't tell you how great it will be to have someone riding with me in the APC," said Lance Cpl. Amy Patterson, the 117th Light Armored Division, referring to her M113 armored personnel carrier. "We were beginning to think America had forgotten about us. I'm glad to see I was wrong."

While reception of Bush's announcement was generally positive, a small number of Republicans accused the president of shifting much-needed funding away from active forces in Iraq, particularly the 11,000-member 212th Army Communications and Dietary Services Brigade, now stationed outside Tikrit.

Some prominent Democrats have expressed cautious support of Ekenberg's deployment. Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY) applauded the Bush administration for "at least meeting [our] demands 1/20,000th of the way."

"This is where we should have been sending troops all along," Clinton said. "It's a promising sign that the president is finally willing to unleash on Afghanistan the full force and military might of the United States Marine Corps Private Tim Ekenberg."

Source

Canada's First Assyrian MP

It appears that the former beauty pageant queen from Angus, Helena Guergis, is also the first Assyrian elected to Parliament according to the Assyria Times. Yeah, I was asking myself the same thing - didn't they exist back in biblical time?

So I checked it out. Assyrians are an ethnic group predominantly in Iraq (800,000) and Syria (500,000). They are all Christian - it appears none are Muslim. Worldwide there are 1.6 million but only 7,000 in Canada. Check it out in Wikipedia.

Hey now....

I think I might have taken a peak at Scarlett as well.

Eeeek!

Is there anyway to stop Britney from wearing that Star of David. The Jews have enough problems.

Update on lonelygirl15

So what has happened to the first YouTube star and aspiring actress Jessica Rose (lonelygirl15)? Well looks like not too much yet outside of a bunch of interviews (eg Wired Magazine). The lonelygirl15 videos continue to come out on YouTube but you can't make a career out of that.

According to IMDB, she has been cast for a role in a Chris Sivertson thriller called I Know Who Killed Me (2008) which stars Lindsay Lohan. Doesn't look like a big part.

Hey could be another person who gets their 15 minutes of fame and fades away. Stay tuned.

6 Billions Cans of SPAM and Counting


Hormel Foods recently produced the 6th billion can of SPAM.

So who eats this stuff? Well. a can of SPAM is consumed in the U.S. every 3.1 seconds.


An entire 16,500-square-foot museum in Austin, is dedicated to SPAM.

OK. That's enough about SPAM.

Ooop. I forgot to mention the SPAM recipes I had provided in an earlier post.



Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Miss USA Sprung From Rehab But on a Short Leash

When we last heard from Miss USA, Tara Conner, The Donald had decided to let her keep her tiara but had her put in the slammer (rehab). She is out now but on a short leash. The Donald has moved her out of Trump Towers and into another apartment with a chaperone. The Donald probably drops by on a regular basis to see how the poor girl is doing. "Hey Tara, put on this swimsuit for me.... Grrrrr".

Future Gastroenterologist or Just a Nerd?.

Oscar Prediction: Helen Mirren will win Best Actress Award

I know am going out on a limb but I feel pretty confident that when the Academy Awards are handed out on February 25th, Helen Mirren will walk away with the Best Actress Award. I did a quick environmental scan and despite the fact that my favourite actress, Kate Winslet is nominated, it's likely a done deal. Afterall, Helen Mirren has already won Best Actress for her role in The Queen by:

Boston Society of Film Critics
British Film Critics Association
Broadcast Film Critics Association
Chicago Film Critics Circle
Dallas-Ft. Worth Film Critics
Golden Globe Awards
Kansas City Film Critics
Las Vegas Film Critics Circle
London Film Critics Circle
National Society of Film Critics
National Board of Review
Online Film Critics Association
Phoenix Film Critics Circle
Los Angeles Film Critics
New York Film Critics Circle
San Diego Film Critics
San Francisco Film Critics Circle
Satellite Awards
Screen Actors Guild
Southeastern Film Critics Circle
Toronto Film Critics Circle
Utah Film Critics
Washington DC Area Film Critics
Women Film Critics Circle

New Miss America

Miss Oklahoma, Lauren Nelson, was just named the new Miss America last.

***Breaking News***

This just in: Lauren Nelson has been arrested for several charges including - public intoxication, felony possession of a controlled substance, public indecency, urinating on homeless people, carpet munching, and lewd conduct with a goat.

In a related story. A NYC resident, Oscar Petrie, woke up this morning with a crown and a sash. Apparently, Lauren Nelson had lost them and a $50,000 scholarship several hours earlier in a World Celebrity Texas Hold-Em Strip Poker tournament. She had won the coveted Miss America title hours before that, then walked away from the pageant area saying she was feeling lucky.

Heather's 15 Minutes


Fox Sports picked up a very enthusiastic and drunk (on Red Bull and vodka of all things) Saints fan (picture above) during last month's NFL playoffs with an obscene message (so where is the FCC fine for Fox) directed at the Eagles. It got a little bit of pick up from the media. It seems that Maxim has now done a spread of the F**k Da Eagles girl, Heather Rothstein (picture below). So here is your 15 minutes of fame Heather.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Speaking of Trumps

....it looks like Ivanka got a lopsided boob job. Looks as bad as the old man's hair.

The Trump Combover

To the left is a photograph that shows the highly engineered underpinnings of The Donald's hair. The photograph, in fact, confirms the extensive baldness Trump clearly goes to enormous trouble to conceal. Note that the back half of Trump's coiffure is a fairly conventional comb-over: Hair from suspiciously low on his head grown to great length, bent against-the-grain back over the hairless crown of the head, and lacquered into place.

But Trump, being the perfectionist that he is, then takes an additional step. My guess is that he ordered his team of hair engineers to find a way to conceal the concealment of his baldness. The team's solution: At the front of Trump's head, where most people have a forehead, Trump has instead a saucer of hair that hides the telltale front edge of the comb-over itself. Is that saucer Trump's hair? Is it a wig of some sort? There's simply no way to tell, and really no reason to. What's fantastic about that saucer of hair is that it was conceived and executed at all.

Earlier this month, he told a writer with the London Observer that his wife Melania "mostly cuts it." He then lifted the orangey fringe in the front to show his grey roots beneath and cried, "It's all mine!" The thing is combovers are dead. Today, it's cool to shave your head if you're thin on top. And, despite the occasional peek that Trump provides the curious, many people still think he's hiding a bald scalp. Here is an article that has 3 leading hair stylist analyse the HAIR.

The Apprentice LA: Episode 4

Well, this episode was a bit better than the previous three, but the show has a whole lot of saving itself yet to do. I won't go over my issues with the season again, but they mostly remain the same. One thing struck me while watching last night is that they spend less that 10 minutes on the actually task itself on air. Before the midway point of the show you are already in the boardroom. The task seems almost inconsequential. Instead they spend lots of time on boardroom finger pointing, backstabbing conversation, and the rewards including moving in and out of the mansion and tents.

One redeeming factor in tonight's episode was the lack of Trumpettes — Ivanka and Donald, Jr. Instead, last season's winner, Sean Yazbeck, visited the task and later joined in at the boardroom. Trump asked for a volunteer to give the constantly losing Arrow team. Heidi offered herself, Surya, and Amy. Trump decided only Surya would go. I think Surya was a bit off-putting to the Arrow team when he droned on and on from a list of business rules. Even though they've been losing, he's no expert. In my opinion, he's been a bit on the sidelines of Kinetic and didn't play a huge role in any of their wins so far.

The task was similar to ones they've done in the past. They had to create a bowl dish for two separate El Pollo Loco (I've never heard of them) locations. As per the norm for this season, it was obvious which team would win the task. Arrow jumped right on things, came up with a chicken tortilla bowl, and worked together as a team. Frank was actually the MVP of the task, getting an order for 22 bowls from a local business. Meanwhile, Kinetic was stalled arguing over small details such as the name of the dish. They had decided on a fruit and chicken bowl and some wanted to name it "Paradise Pollo Bowl." Um, okay. They wasted time bickering about the name and then wasted more time quibbling on cellphones with Marisa because she wanted to hire two people with chicken suits. In the end, they just walked along the drive-thru lane telling people about the dish.

Sure enough, in the initial boardroom with both teams gathered, Sean announced that Kinetic earned $313.54 while Arrow brought in $418. The Kinetic team decided Marisa had to go. Too bad because I don't mind if the more attractives candidate stick around a little longer to ward off the boredom. Back in the boardroom, Marisa kept sinking her own ship. I guess she wanted to make sure it stayed sunken. She ticked off Trump some even though he's on a "he/she has good spirit" kick this season (he liked Frank's spirit, too). The entire rest of the team spoke up saying she should be fired. She kept trying to talk over them about the chicken suits. Not too bright for an attorney because she was fired.

Senseless Killings in Eilat

A bomber killed three Eilat residents in a suicide attack Monday morning in a bakery. Hamas spokesman Fawzi Barhoum defended the attack as legitimate "resistance" against Israel. So what happened to the ceasefire? Israel is supposed to negotiate with a government that doesn't keep its commitments?

Meanwhile, the Islamic Jihad, which claimed responsibility for the attack together with two other groups, posted a statement on its Web site Monday saying that it had engineered the bombing in an attempt to "focus Palestinians' attention away from killing each other" . Now that is disgusting. They killed Israelis to get people's attention.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Israeli Cabinet Approves First Arab Minister

Israel got its first Arab minister in its 60 year history when the Israeli cabinet approved the appointment of Labor MK Ghaleb Majadle as a minister-without-portfolio on Sunday.

The appointment passed nearly unanimously with only Minister of Strategic Affairs Avigdor Lieberman voting against it. The appointment is scheduled to come to the Knesset for approval on Monday.

This has occurred in a country that many people consider to be racist. I'd like to see the Palestinian cabinet include a Jew.

Leaked Superbowl Advertisement

I can't say who gave them to me but I got my hands on the brainstorming notes from a Superbowl advertiser. What do you think?

Bush Invades Space

In response to China's recent and successful test of an anti-satellite missile, President Bush announced a sudden and complete redeployment of all U.S. troops out of Iraq, and into space.

Bush said that the biggest threat faced by the country is now WSD — weapons of space destruction. Consequently, the Administration is implementing a plan called The New Way Upward.

The President also indicated that he would immediately bring back Donald Rumsfeld to head the invasion, since Rumsfeld was always considered the in-house space cadet. Bush further explained that “Rumsfeld’s favorite strategy of ‘quick and light’ is particularly well-suited to a battlefield where there is no gravity.”

Bush therefore announced that the tours of all active duty forces would be extended to three light years, to accommodate the long travel involved. In addition, due to the shortage of military resources caused by the lengthy war in Iraq, all U.S. space troops will be required to purchase their own heat shields.