Saturday, February 10, 2007

Arrest Warrant Issued For Nude 89-Year Old Driver

Police said John Welday failed to appear in court on one count of public indecency on Thursday. An arrest warrant has been issued for an 89-year-old man who police said was driving in the nude.Last week's incident was the third time John Welday was caught driving around naked, police said. Martins Ferry police said a search of the vehicle also yielded over 100 photos of Welday in the nude. Police said there is nothing illegal about the photographs, but were concerned Welday may have been leaving the photos in public places.

Pseudonym is Not the Father of Anna Nicole Smith's Baby

There has been a vicious and hurtful rumour circulating the Internet that yours truly, Pseudonym, may have fathered the late Anna Nicole Smith's baby. The source of this rumour has been located and legal action is on the horizon. Let me clear the record. I did not have sex with that woman.

Certainly I tried but as always I was rejected as a suitable suitor.

Will Al Gore Run?

Al Gore appears to be developing quite a following. Tickets for Gore's appearance in Toronto on February 21 sold out in minutes. Overwhelming demand for tickets crashed the University of Toronto's sales website when it received 23,000 hits in three minutes. In Boise, Idaho, his appearance had to moved to a larger venue to accommodate the huge demand, and 10,000 tickets sold in 90 minutes.

Gore has another book set for release in late May, called The Assault on Reason. A description on amazon.com calls it: "A visionary analysis of how the politics of fear, secrecy, cronyism and blind faith has combined with the degradation of the public sphere to create a (political) environment dangerously hostile to reason."

He has ruled out another run at the White House in 2008 but things can change. There is mounting pressure on him to step in the race despite the already crowded Democratic field. Veterans of Al Gore's past are quietly assembling a campaign to draft the former vice president into the 2008 presidential race. His top policy adviser from his 2000 presidential campaign and other key supporters met recently in Boston to mull a potential Gore campaign. Elaine Kamarck, a veteran of the Clinton White House and Gore's policy guru in 2000, said the meeting was informal and shouldn't be taken as a sign there will be a Gore 2008 campaign. Chris Mackin, a Boston consultant and Gore supporter, called it "an early stage conversation." But he added: "We're very serious about exploring this."

His popularity on the lecture circuit is creating a buzz that will not likely go away.

Mad Covers Britney's Crotch

Don't Want to Know How This Street Got Its Name

Bears Fan Loses Super Bowl Bet and Has to Change Name

Scott Wiese was so sure the Chicago Bears would win Super Bowl XLI, he staked his name on it. Wiese bet five buddies that if his team didn't beat the Indianapolis Colts, he would change his name to Peyton Manning. The Colts won 29-17, so true to his word, Wiese was at the Macon County Courts Facility in Decatur, Ill., on Tuesday to begin paperwork on the month long process.

His parents insist they will not call Scott by his new name. But his brother Kyle says he will.

Obviously more that just a little alcohol was involved here. What ever happened to just shaving your head when you lose a bet?

A Little Dramatic

Something for a Saturday morning

....don't you want to dry off Jessica Biel?

The Best Girls Hockey Around!


Sorry but Coach Pseudonym is cut off in the picture....have to maintain my secret identity.

Friday, February 09, 2007

Survivor Fiji: Episode 1

Survivor: Fiji premiered last night. For Survivor fans like myself, the premier is always a treat. Getting to know the new castaways, seeing the new digs, it never gets old. This season has a new gimmick: The haves vs. the have-nots. The two camps will be vastly different: one with all sort of amenities, one with next to nothing. Should be fun.

Survivor Fiji began like no other 'Survivor', as Jeff revealed that one castaway quit hours before filming began, leaving 19 castaways to battle it out for this season's $1,000,000 prize. The castaways began as one large group, receiving blueprints to build an upscale shelter. Sylvia, a real-life architect, took charge of the project, as the others worked hard to assemble the shelter.

Note: The 20th survivor quit the evening before due to panic attacks which forced a sudden change to the game with only 19 contestants. She is interviewed here.

The next day at the challenge, after the tribe agreed that Sylvia had taken the leadership position, Jeff handed her the task of dividing the other eighteen castaways into two tribes of nine. Sylvia, who was left as the odd woman out, was sent to Exile Island, but was given Immunity from the first vote, and would rejoin whichever tribe lost the first castaway.

The first Immunity/Reward Challenge involved a chariot race, where two castaways would grab bags of puzzle pieces, ultimately using them to assemble three numbers, which would correspond with a wheel. If they used the combination to turn the wheel correctly, a knife would be revealed, allowing the tribe to cut the rope and signify their challenge win. After a temporary stumble, Moto regained the lead, winning the first challenge and sending Ravu to the first Tribal Council. The winners stayed at the "posh" compound while the losers got a barren beach with only a pot and machete.

At Tribal Council, the votes were split all over the place. But ultimately, Jessica received the most votes, and she became the first person voted off of 'Survivor Fiji'. She screwed up in the Immunity Challenge, first having trouble untying the puzzle pieces, and then struggling to assemble her puzzle. She basically lost the challenge for her tribe, and wasn't a big enough contribution around camp to save her from her mistakes. She seemed to be blindsided, not expecting to be voted off, so she didn't even have a chance to try and save herself.

Stowaway Skunk


The brave soles who volunteered to bring the stowaway skunk back from Canada to California both work for a radio station in Ventura. So of course the station is following their progress on their website and most likely on air as well. A listener had donated 400 gallons of gas for the trip.

In Case You Thought Figure Skating is for Sissies


Canadian pairs skater Jessica Dube underwent surgery Thursday night to repair a laceration on her left cheek and nose after being hit by partner Bryce Davison's skate in the free skate competition at Four Continents. She has a significant laceration to the left cheek and nose but fortunately the eye was not affected and nothing was broken.

The pair was on their third rotation of a side-by-side camel -- where one leg is parallel to the ice as they spin -- when Davison began to drift toward Dube, catching her with his skate. She fell to the ice lying a growing pool of blood.

Anna Nicole Smith

My only comment is that her death is not at all surprising considering her self-destructive lifestyle. Ordinarily such people fly below the radar screen and are unnoticed by us regular folks. But she was a celebrity so we got to watch every painful moment. May she now rest in peace.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

By-Election Results

Well the by-elections ended up more interesting than I had thought as a result of an upset in the riding of York South-Weston. The New Democrats tapped into voter anger aimed at a provincial government that gave pay raises to politicians while dismissing calls for a $10 minimum wage to take this urban riding. Predictably, the Liberals retained their seat in Markham and the Conservatives keep Burlington.

The minimum wage fight was a perfect strategy for the NDP in York South-Weston where the average annual family income is one of the lowest in the province. It sends a clear message that the working poor are not benefiting from the province's strong economic position. I expect both the Conservative and Liberals will rethink their minimum wage positions.


Man tunnels under house to avoid arrest


Barry Kirkpatrick, who was to plead guilty to driving while disqualified, decided to elude the police by digging a tunnel under the cement floor of his basement. Police were in Kirkpatrick's home in Kitchener several times and couldn't find him. He was hunkered down in a dirt room under his basement.

A dresser covered the hole in the floor that led to the tunnel. The dresser was screwed to the floor, so that when police tried to move it, they couldn't, Brock said, adding Kirkpatrick unscrewed it from inside his tunnel to get out. An air supply and electricity had been routed to his makeshift room.

Rumour has it that he will be serving time in Stalag Luft III.

Refugee claimant 'not gay enough'


A Canadian adjudicator, Deborah Lamont, has turned down a refugee request from Alvaro Antonio Orozco who claimed to be a homosexual because "he did not have any same-sex relationships." Mr. Antonio is scheduled to be deported to his native Nicaragua next week. However, things are looking up for Ted Haggart if he is interested in seeking political asylum in Canada.

Public Service Announcement: Isaiah Washington



I respect Ted Haggard for taking the cure. So how about you?

Public Service Announcement: Michael Richards

Control of anger and rage is so important when you suffer from racial paranoia. Seek help to prevent being labelled a bigot.

Dangerous Criminals?

There must be a crime wave occurring right under our noses that no one has properly addressed. Why else would New York state senator Carl Kruger be planning to introduce legislation that would ban people from using an MP3 player, cell phone, Blackberry or any other electronic device while crossing the street in either New York City or Buffalo.

Obviously this is a case of a politician trying to protect the public from potential harm. But to me its a case of trying to treat a lack of common sense as a crime. A job with an Ipod but make sure its not so loud that I can't also hear whats going on around me like cars approaching. This law would be enforceable. Politicians should focus and real societal problems not trivial ones.

Today's Ontario By-Elections

I suspect that a lot will be read into today's by-elections in Burlington, York South-Weston and Markham especially since this is an election year. By-elections do not always provide much insight into how a future election will turn out. The parties are not in full campaign mode. It is more likely that local issues become more prominent during by-elections. Also, the ridings involved may have some strong voting patterns that may not reflect provincial trends. So Burlington is a strong Conservative riding and will more than likely continue that trend today. While York South-Weston has continually voted Liberal and no change is expected. Now Markham switched from Conservative to Liberal in the last election. If any of these by-elections is to serve as a bell weather for this fall, this would be the one. Still too much is often read into by-elections by the media.

Haggard Disappointed by Public Reaction to Snickers Ad


Newly declared heterosexual Ted Haggard came forward today to register his displeasure with the American public over condemnation of a recent Snickers Super Bowl ad in which he appeared. Mars Inc. was caught off guard by a tidal wave of public anger over the commercial which depicts an accidental kiss between two males. The company immediately pulled the ad campaign after overwhelming complaints that it was anti-gay. Haggard took issue with the public outcry, stating that he felt his performance reflected a natural, humorous and "completely heterosexual" situational response.

The Snickers ad was one of a number of recent attempts by the disgraced pastor of the New Life Church in Colorado to parlay his celebrity and notoriety. Most recently Haggard had been a spokesmodel for an Australian brand of underwear called the Wonderjock. Haggard, a staunch anti-gay Christian, was forced out of his 22 year position as founding pastor of the 14,000 member mega-church after revelations that he had been involved in a three-year sexual relationship with a male escort from Denver.

Haggard recently declared himself completely and totally heterosexual after an intensive three-week spiritual retreat in Phoenix, and continues to receive ongoing Christian counseling. In an e-mail to friends Haggard stated that he was now considering a career in psychology in order to combat the profession's progressive attitudes towards homosexuality from within and conform it to the teachings of the Bible and the example of Jesus.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Hmmm, there is some resemblance

Tori is more than just pregnant. She is carrying way too much junk in the trunk.

Britney's Wearing Underwear Now

Skunk Returned to California

Well the ongoing saga of Dorothy the stowaway skunk is coming to an end. But the skunk trip was not without a stink at the border. U.S. customs officers couldn't believe she might not be an illegal immigrant, despite the fact that the skunk's paperwork was all in order.

The skunk showed up in Mississauga Jan. 5 in a truckload of piping that had been on the road from Torrance, south of Los Angeles, for a week. Dorothy had crawled into a pipe before it was loaded and fallen asleep.
The problem was returning her. Not only would it be illegal to release her into the wild in Ontario; skunks are territorial and she wouldn't survive long in a cage.

Trace Nealy, host of a California radio station morning show, and her producer, Ryan Miller, took vacation time to pick up Dorothy from Detroit in an RV. Not my idea of an ideal vacation. The trip will take about four days and each night they'll stop at a wildlife refuge where experts will tend to Dorothy.

Thank goodness this smelly affair will soon be over with.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Can you solve the puzzle?

Haggard Now "Completely Heterosexual"

OK....ummm I'm buying it.

Now it's Garth Turner's Turn to Cross

So the Liberals have scored a minor victory but offsetting the loss of Wajid Kahn by scooping up Independent and former Conservative Garth Turner. It seems the rash of floor crossing in Parliament continues as opportunistic MPPs are lured over to other parties at the risk of angering their constituents who may not be as fickle. Turner is a maverick who in the short term will be a thorn in the sides of the Conservatives. However, he will always be a maverick and will eventually turn his guns on his new party.

Pant-Suit Makers Looking Forward to Clinton Boom

The American pants suit industry, long in decline, are preparing for a resurgence thanks in part to Sentor Hillary Rodham Clinton's official entry into the 2008 presidential race.

So how many pants suits does this lady own?






Rehab Update

Mel Gibson - attended rehab after a drunken anti-Semitic and misogynistic outburst toward Malibu police in an attempt to salvage his image prior to the release of Apocalypto. Apparently, it worked.

Ted Haggard - received spiritual restoration to "cure" his meth addiction and homosexuality. Praise Jebus, the gay be gone!

Michael Richards - began psychiatric counseling to manage anger and try to understand why he hates African Americans.

Isaiah Washington - attended psychological counseling to try to understand why he hates homosexuals.

Lindsay Lohan - attending rehab for alcohol, drugs and bulimia while indulging in alcohol, drugs and stomach purging on the weekends.

Gavin Newsom - will attend alcohol counseling after admitting to banging his campaign adviser's wife. What an idiot - as if there aren't enough hot, young single women in SF for him to chase.

Paris Hilton - will probably attend rehab to understand why she hates African Americans and homosexuals. One can only hope she experiences some swift aversion therapy. Hell, it worked for Alex de Large.

Too Much Tech?

Hitachi has reached a techie milestone with the launch of its new Deskstar 7K1000 hard drive. The 7K1000 may look like your run-of-the-mill sandwich-sized computer hard drive. But inside, it holds a terabyte of data.

Now a terabyte is a trillion bytes of data — a thousand gigabytes. But who would possible need to store that much information? You could use it to store about a quarter-million songs — more music than you and all your ancestors ever stockpiled on CD, LP, tape, and 8-track combined. Your terabyte drive will store about 200,000 photos. Or you can shoot YouTube-quality video and have enough space for several years worth of footage. I have a 40 gigabyte hard drive that is not even half full in a 5 year old computer. Although I am in the market for a new PC, I've likely hit my limit for storage space.

Does anyone out there really think they can fill a terabyte?

Proof That Terrorists are Among Us

Monday, February 05, 2007

How We Shower: men are from Mars, women are from somewhere even crazier.

Prince vs. Lucy














Come on you know what I'm getting at. He's recreated the Lucy look.

I appreciate enthusiastic hockey fans


So you don't like government-run insurance

Flush with cash, Saskatchewan Government Insurance is spreading the wealth to its customers with rebates and proposed rate reductions. The government insurance agency says because its Auto Fund — the auto insurance side of SGI — has close to $200 million in its rate stabilization reserves, it will be giving back $100 million as rebates on last year's premiums. For the average motorist, that means getting a cheque for about $180, equivalent to a 17 per cent reduction from what they paid in 2006.

So when was the last time your private insurance company gave you a rebate because they made too much profit?

Ever sat next to an annoying guy on a plane?

Open up your laptop so he can see the monitor. Go to the following link. Watch his reaction.

Thanks to WTF's blog for this excellent post.

No Global Warming Effect Today

Warnings
City of Toronto
4:54 AM EST Monday 5 February 2007
Wind chill warning for
City of Toronto continued

Wind chill values of minus 30 expected across all of southern Ontario tonight and values near minus 40 over portions of eastern Ontario tonight.

This is a warning that extreme wind chill conditions are imminent or occurring in these regions. Monitor weather conditions..Listen for updated statements.

Extremely cold Arctic air has flooded over the Great Lakes basin.

The west to northwesterly flow off Lake Huron and Georgian Bay is generating snowsqualls affecting areas to the east of Georgian Bay and Lake Huron. The most intense squall is affecting the areas from Wiarton to Wasaga Beach to Uxbridge with local snowfall rates near 5 centimetres per hour likely. Other bands of snow coming off Lake Huron are giving the area between Kincardine and Goderich snowfall rates of 2 to 5 centimetres per hour.

The main snow squall will continue to drift southwestward through the day. Snowfall amounts in the 20 centimetres range can be expected in some localities. Strong westerly winds that have accompanied the squall have diminished. As a result blizzard conditions are no longer expected in the Grey - Bruce area. However snow squalls will still give whiteouts and extreme caution is advised as travel will be very hazardous in the warned squall areas.

Cold temperatures combined with westerly winds gusting to 50 km/h are giving wind chill values near minus 30 across much of southwestern Ontario and into the greater Toronto area this morning. As temperatures warm through the day wind chill values will rise to near minus 20.

Winds have not been strong enough over eastern Ontario to generate extreme wind chills.

Environment Canada will continue to monitor this extreme weather event closely.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Prince was Great

...but the Colts were even better!

Wedding Incentive

...how about a $1 million and regular sex?

Sad But True

Ouch!

Boston's 9/11


Another Terrorist Arrested in Boston

....this time with a concealed weapon. FBI have things under control though.

How's this for a quote?

"I like to be around people that keep expectations low"

George W. Bush

What's really pathetic is that he was comparing himself to the Stanley Cup winners, Carolina Hurricanes. I think a comparison to the Titanic would be more appropriate.

Now this is Canadian Weather



It's currently -16C (3F) but with the windchill it feels like -27C
(-17F). Brrrrrrrrr.

Guess Who I'm Picking

I still love Colt legend Johnny Unitas. The best arm the NFL ever saw.