Friday, March 02, 2007

Update: James Brown still above ground - 61 days and counting

We are still waiting for James Brown to be buried. Two months after his death, late soul legend James Brown remains unburied because a DNA sample is being used to establish how many children he has.

The godfather of soul, who died more than two months ago, has still not been laid to rest, after a judge ordered the test could be carried out. He was quite the busy guy while he was alive though.

Brown's "wife" Tomi Rae Hynie claims the singer is the father of her five-year-old son James Brown Jr — and she is suing for half his estate. She has requested a DNA sample which is delaying the soul star's burial.

Hynie claims to be the fourth wife of James Brown, although his lawyers are adamant the pair were never legally married. And her son was not named in Brown's will, which handed out possessions such as cars clothes and jewellery to his six adult children.

The six children and eight grandchildren of James Brown really don't have any dispute with the DNA questions. There are other folks out there who claim paternity and so keep in mind there is no question about the paternity of my clients. No one is saying how many people may come forward claiming to be the singer's child.

Scarlett Johansson does Reebok


Even Scarlett isn't going to make those ugly shoes look good.

Swiss troops march into tiny Liechtenstein by mistake

I just got a chuckle from the above headline. I understand the Swiss got little resistance since Liechtenstein has no army.

By the way, I looked up Liechtenstein in Wikipedia and it has a population of 34,000 and is a financial center because of low tax rates and easy rules of incorporation.

Good luck finding it on a map.

Toronto Storm Pictures






Art Display Earns Artist Visit From Secret Service

Michael McDonald, not unlike many artists, wants people to see his work. During the course of his lifetime, he has produced more than 3,000 paintings, which he shows regularly from his Alameda, California home, and has done 53 wall murals in the city of Alameda.

But it’s one piece of art — which was part of an ongoing 12 year exhibit in McDonald’s front yard — that recently brought him unwanted attention. Last Thursday, McDonald, 55, returned to his home to find a business card from a U.S. Secret Service agent, the writing on the back said: “Please call me.”

McDonald did and set up an appointment for the next day. McDonald also invited his lawyer.
Three people, called “fellow citizens” by one of the two agents who showed up at McDonald’s home last Friday afternoon, had called the U.S. Secret Service and said McDonald was a threat to the president because of a life-size cardboard cut-out of President George W. Bush with a kitchen knife in his forehead was displayed in his front yard.

McDonald called the piece a political statement Tuesday in an interview at his home, not unlike the more than 500 other pieces he’s placed outside his home. He doesn’t want people to get upset by his art, he said, he wants to “engage them in thinking.”

Last year, McDonald, who served in the Navy from 1973-1979, was investigated by the Secret Service a first time for sending an e-mail to Bush telling him if he came to Alameda he would personally kick him in the backside.

Apparently that crossed a line with the Secret Service, and his recent artwork, which has been covered up with a yellow cardboard silhouette of Bush adorned with a yellow swastika, did as well.

McDonald sat with the agents, one in a suit and dark glasses and the other in casual clothing, for about an hour and a half going over an 11-page questionnaire. The questions, McDonald surmised, were meant to flush out any hostility he may harbor against the government.
They said, 'You've got a knife sitting in the head of the president of the United States,'" McDonald said. "I said, 'No, I got a knife in a piece of cardboard.'"

McDonald said the agents “suggested” he take down the artwork with President Bush. McDonald compromised, putting the yellow cardboard over it, but he said his next front-yard piece will be coming out soon, and it will probably have something to do with his run-in with the agents.

Man Tries to Cash $50K Check from God


It's not easy trying to cash a check from God.

Hobart, Indiana Police arrested 21-year-old Kevin Russell on Monday after he tried to cash a check for $50,000. The check he presented to the teller was signed "King Savior, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Servant."

Police say he was carrying several other checks with similar signatures.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

One Fine Looking Jew

Took forever to get home today

Can't wait for the freezing rain later tonight.

Meth-dealing Middle School Principal Arrested in Office. Naked. Watching Gay Porn

I'm not making this up. When police went into Nitschmann Middle School Tuesday to arrest Principal John Acerra for allegedly selling crystal methamphetamine, sources said they found him naked while sitting at his desk watching gay pornography.

A 28-year educator with the Bethlehem Area School District and principal since 2000, Acerra is in Lehigh County Prison under $200,000 bail.

The sign in front of the school in the picture has just a touch on irony.

The Fuhrer Liked Dixie Music

Kate Winslet Gets an Apology

Grazia has apologised to actress Kate Winslet, after she threatened to sue the weekly over claims she visited a diet doctor.

This week’s Grazia carried a prominent page three apology to Winslet. It stated that the article was published “in good faith” but that Hollywood doctor Dr Yi Pan’s quote saying he helped Winslet with her weight was not true. It seems he had seen her regarding another issue.

On the implication from the original report that Winslet was being hypocritical, the new Grazia statement continued: “It has been pointed out to us that our article, therefore, suggested she had been lying to the public when she said this [that she was against pressure to be skinny]. We are happy to make it clear that our article was not intended to suggest any such thing.”

Score one for the plucky actress.

Snow, Freezing Rain on the Way

Environment Canada's Official Weather Warnings

City of Toronto11:25 AM EST Thursday 1 March 2007

Freezing rain warning forCity of Toronto continued
Freezing rain today and tonight.
This is a warning that an extended period of freezing rain is imminent or occurring in these regions. Monitor weather conditions..Listen for updated statements.An intensifying storm over Iowa is tracking slowly northeastwards. It is tapping warm moist air from the gulf of Mexico.
Creating an wintery mix of precipitation for southern and eastern Ontario today through Friday

...For regions covered by the freezing rain warning..

Precipitation is falling across southwestern Ontario and is heading northeastwards to reach Toronto by early afternoon. It is a mix of heavy snow..Ice pellets and freezing rain with accumulations of snow and ice pellets around 5 centimetres. A brief period of freezing rain follows this mix in the south but 3 to 6 hours is possible to the east of Lake Huron and north of Lake Ontario. Locally 5 to 10 mm are likely in some areas before the mercury climbs above zero and the precipitation changes to rain. Precipitation is all is rain around Windsor thus the warning is ended there. The change to rain is expected in Hamilton and Niagara this evening and by midnight in Toronto. Significant rainfall amounts of 15 to 25 mm will follow enhanced by isolated thunderstorms.

French Spiderman climbs buildings with bare hands, no ropes




Scary...with no make up


The Insurance Climate Change

While politicians and the public debate whether global warming is real or not, the insurance industry has already made up their mind. Insurers are canceling policies or jacking up premiums to policyholders who are insuring properties in high risk areas. Up and down the Eastern Seaboard, hundreds of thousands of policyholders are being dropped by their insurers; many more have had to swallow double-, even triple-digit increases in premiums and deductibles.

While scientists cannot determine whether a single weather event is caused by a natural cycle, or is evidence of more permanent, malignant climate change, the pattern of mounting losses is clear. Weather-related catastrophe losses have increased from about $1 billion a year in the 1970s to an average of $17 billion a year over the past decade. In 2005, the year of Katrina, that figure reached $71 billion.

Yes, the insurers are making healthy profits but that is only because they reacting to mounting claims by re-evaluating risk and doing proper underwriting. These numbers do suggest our weather is changing.

Obesity is Now Child Abuse?

British authorities may take an 8-year-old boy weighing 218 pounds into protective custody unless his mother improves his diet.

A spokeswoman for health officials in Wallsend, North Tyneside, 300 miles north of London, said a hearing was being held that could eventually lead to Connor being taken into protective care. An unnamed health official was quoted as telling The Sunday Times that taking custody of Connor would be a last resort, but said the family had repeatedly failed to attend appointments with nurses, nutritionists and social workers.

Connor's mother said he steals and hides food, frustrating her efforts to help him. Connor has difficulty dressing and washing himself, misses school regularly because of poor health and is targeted by bullies.

This is a very sad case.

Score one for the Granny

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

I just don't know

Cheney Unhurt in Bombing: Receives Medal of Honor

Hours after touching down aboard Air Force two following what the White House has described as a extremely successful Asian trip, Vice President Dick Cheney was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor by President Bush in recognition of his heroism in surviving an assassination attempt by a suicide bomber yesterday in Afghanistan. Mr. Cheney was recognized for his unprecedented valor and calm demeanor in the aftermath of the explosion which Taliban forces in Afghanistan have claimed responsibility for in an attempt to assassinate the vice president.

"'Is everyone okay, are we still alive?', These were the first words that came from the mouth of this self-sacrificing American patriot," stated President Bush. "After he made sure that he and everyone around him were okay, he insisted that the dead and wounded be taken care of immediately by the Afghan government." The suicide bombing apparently resulted in the deaths of 20 people including one American serviceman.

Critics of the Bush administration later pointed out that an act from Congress was necessary in order for the awarding of the Congressional medal of honor, and that it was strictly limited to men and women who had served or were serving in America's armed forces.


Clowns for Christ

Now for something completely different.... "Clowns for Christ, Inc." It a theme ministry of Rev. (Bob) Kahn, Sr. and his wife Alice of Cleburne, Texas. They perform in Baptist Churches in an entertaining and unusual approach about teachings of Christ.



This is just not right...

BEIJING (Reuters) - A Chinese businessman has advertised on the Internet for a stand-in mistress to be beaten up by his wife to vent her anger and to protect his real mistress, Chinese media reported on Monday.

"When the woman found out her husband had a mistress, she insisted on beating her up," the Beijing Youth Daily said, citing the advertisement posted on a popular online jobs forum on sina.com.

More than 10 people had applied for the job, the newspaper said. The "successful" candidate would be 35 and originally from northeastern China and would be paid 3,000 yuan ($400) per 10 minutes, it said.

Many Chinese businessmen keep mistresses in second homes, a trend banished after the Communists swept to power in 1949 but which has made a comeback with market reforms in recent decades.

Elizabeth Taylor Turns 75



.... she certainly was a beauty in her day

New Uniforms for Congressional Pages?


Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Sucks Getting Old

Source

Al Gore doesn't walk the walk

It seems the Tennessee Center for Policy Research has found that Al Gore may be the same hypocritical politician as the rest.

Gore’s mansion, located in the posh Belle Meade area of Nashville, consumes more electricity every month than the average American household uses in an entire year, according to the Nashville Electric Service (NES).

The average household in America consumes 10,656 kilowatt-hours (kWh) per year, according to the Department of Energy. In 2006, Gore devoured nearly 221,000 kWh—more than 20 times the national average.

Last August alone, Gore burned through 22,619 kWh—guzzling more than twice the electricity in one month than an average American family uses in an entire year. As a result of his energy consumption, Gore’s average monthly electric bill topped $1,359.

Gore’s extravagant energy use does not stop at his electric bill. Natural gas bills for Gore’s mansion and guest house averaged $1,080 per month last year.

“As the spokesman of choice for the global warming movement, Al Gore has to be willing to walk to walk, not just talk the talk, when it comes to home energy use,” said Tennessee Center for Policy Research President Drew Johnson.

In total, Gore paid nearly $30,000 in combined electricity and natural gas bills for his Nashville estate in 2006.

What would a blonde do?

...better freshen up before those cute police arrive

Darth Vadar vs. Japanese Police

Does your wife ask if her ass is too big?

Tell her to check for herself!

Another NBA player coming out of the closet?


Didn't their moms tell them about doing up their coat in winter?


Who would buy this?


There is the warning on the packaging "Not For Children".
This is so lame and I thought maybe this just a gag item. But the doll is available on eBay including the straight jacket.

I need more privacy than this



...but some people don't need any at all

Handy Chart When Communicating With Your Wife

DANGEROUS:
SAFER:
SAFEST:
ULTRA SAFE:
What's for dinner?
Can I help you with dinner?
Where would you like to go for dinner?
Here, have some wine.
Are you wearing that?
Wow, you sure look good in brown!
WOW! Look at you!
Here, have some wine
What are you so worked up about?
Could we be overreacting?
Here's my paycheck.
Here, have some wine.
Should you be eating that?
You know, there are a lot of apples left.
Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
Here, have some wine.
What did you DO all day?
I hope you didn't over-do it today.
I've always loved you in that robe!
Here, have some more wine.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Didn't know they allowed body checking

Wouldn't this come in handy every so often?

Showdown in the Middle East?

Three Arab states in the Persian Gulf would be willing to allow the Israel Air force to enter their airspace in order to reach Iran in case of an attack on its nuclear facilities, the Kuwaiti newspaper Al-Siyasa reported on Sunday.

According to the report, a diplomat from one of the gulf states visiting Washington on Saturday said the three states, Qatar, Oman and the United Arab Emirates, have told the United States that they would not object to Israel using their airspace, despite their fear of an Iranian response.

Al-Siyasa further reported that NATO leaders are urging Turkey to open its airspace for an Attack on Iran as well and to also open its airports and borders in case of a ground attack.

According to a British diplomat who spoke to an Al-Siyasa correspondent, Turkey will not repeat the mistake it made in 2003, when it refused to open its airspace to U.S. Air Force overflights en route to attacking Iraq.

Meanwhile, the Daily Telegram, a British newspaper, is claiming that Israel had opened negotiations to fly through US-controlled airspace in Iraq in the event that it would decide to strike Iranian nuclear facilities.

The paper quoted an unnamed Israeli defense official as saying the discussions were aimed at planning for all scenarios, including any future decision to target Iran's nuclear program. Israeli bombers would need a corridor through US-administered airspace in Iraq to carry out any strikes, the official was quoted as saying.

Extinct

Source

More on the Razzies

Some Razzie trivia to impress friends.

  • In 1998, Brian Helgeland won the Oscar for Best Screenplay (L.A. Confidential) and the Razzie for Worst Screenplay (The Postman). This never happened before or since.
  • James Coco (Only When I Laugh, 1982) and Amy Irving (Yentl, 1984) were both nominated for an Oscar and a Razzie for the same performance.
  • Sylvester Stallone has been nominated thirty times, winning ten. Both are records.
  • Showgirls and Battlefield Earth are tied atop the all-time rankings, each earning seven Razzies.
  • Demi Moore, Pauly Shore and Sly Stallone have all won back-to-back Worst Actor/Actress honors.
  • In 1988, Bill Cosby was the first person to actually show up to accept a Razzie. He won three Razzie Awards for Worst Picture, Worst Actor and Worst Screenplay for Leonard Part 6. Several people have have since accepted their awards including Tom Sellick, Tom Green, Halle Berry and Ben Affleck.

oops











So how come the lens cap thing only happens to the dumb politicians? Is it genetic?

I just don't know

I didn't know she was Jewish?


I don't get Victoria Beckham with Hebrew tattooed to her back. In case she forgets this week's Torah reading?

Krispy Kreme launches whole-wheat doughnut

Krispy Kreme, still recovering from the low-carb diet craze that killed the company's earnings, unveiled a whole wheat doughnut.

The 100% whole wheat doughnut has only 180 calories, has a caramel flavoring and is covered with the doughnut-maker's original glaze.

Krispy Kreme sales started slipping three years ago as the company expanded its operations during the height of the low-carbohydrate diet craze. They have been closing stores like crazy in an attempt to stop the red ink. I just don't see the diet conscious consumer returning to Krispy Kreme because the have gone whole wheat.

Oscar Comments

Ellen DeGeneres was not funny at all- she was downright boring. In fact, the show was more boring than usual. Perhaps in an attempt to not offend and avoid controversy the producers made the show very bland.


Way too much Al Gore last night. Maybe that's why the show was so damn boring. Rather than bash Bush and the war as in previous years, Hollywood seemed to be heaping all this attention and praise on Gore. I guess he is now the anti-Bush. Next year will we see Obama at the Oscars? Speaking of the Inconvenient Truth, would love to follow the Hollywood elite home and see how many recycle, use public transit, drive hybrid cars, set their air conditioners at 75, etc.


There was a "Janet Jackson" nipple slip last night. Check out Jennifer Hudson while she was singing one of the nominated songs. She was wearing a ridiculously tight red dress and popped out during her appearance. If you have it recorded, check it out.


Kate Winslet has to be one of the most genuine people in Hollywood. She has missed out 5 times now for an Oscar. I hope she doesn't have to wait 36 years like Allan Arkin to finally get recognized.


I absolutely agree that Martin Scorsese deserved an Oscar but he received it for the wrong film. Seems to be a trend with the Academy Awards - just look at Dustin Hoffman. But then there is no explanation why Peter O'Toole has never won after 8 nominations. He may win some day for some cheesy role for being robbed in the past.


Ellen noted all the British actors that were up for awards. The reason we are seeing so many Brits is that they all have received extensive theatrical training. And it really shows.

Finally, I was 4 for 6 in my predictions for the top awards. Missed out on Best Picture and Best Supporting Actor.

Aussies Love Dick Cheney


...Americans are still trying to warm up to him.


Best Gown of the Night Was Worn by Abigail Breslin

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Sharon Stone Cleans Up at Razzie Awards

Sharon Stone picked up her third Golden Raspberry (Razzie) Award for Worst Actress in Basic Instinct 2 (also known as Basically, It Stinks Too) . Basic Instinct 2 also picked up awards for Worst Picture, Worst Sequel and Worst Screenplay! It’s Sharon’s year! Here’s the losers:

Worst Picture: Basic Instinct 2

Worst Actress: Sharon Stone, Basic Instinct 2

Worst Actor: Marlon Wayans & Shawn Wayans, Little Man

Worst Supporting Actress: Carmen Electra, Date Movie and Scary Movie 4

Worst Supporting Actor: M. Night Shyamalan, Lady in the Water

Worst Director: M. Night Shyamalan, Lady in the Water

Worst Screen Couple: Shawn Wayans & either Kerry Washington orMarlon Wayans, Little Man

Worst Remake Or Rip-off: Little Man

Worst Prequel or Sequel: Basic Instinct 2

Worst Screenplay: Basic Instinct 2

Worst Excuse for Family Entertainment: RV

It's Oscar Night and Kate Will be There