Saturday, March 31, 2007

Fred Thompson May Disappear from 'Law and Order"

If Fred Thompson, the onetime Tennessee senator better known to most Americans as District Attorney Arthur Branch on "Law & Order," runs for president, some fans may be in for a letdown. Television stations are expected to suspend reruns of the show if he makes a real-life bid for the White House.

Federal campaign law requires broadcasters to give all candidates equal time on the airwaves. That rule applies to entertainment programs like "Law & Order," meaning stations that run the show would be required to give other GOP candidates a like amount of prime-time exposure. As a practical matter, the television stations would in all likelihood have to pull all of the Fred Thompson shows for the duration of his candidacy.

Candidates' appearances on newscasts, interview programs and at news events are exempted from the rule. So are incidental appearances in documentaries.

But the rule has been applied to television and movie stars in the past.

During the 2003 gubernatorial race in California, television stations dropped all Arnold Schwarzenegger movies out of fear that showing them would require them to give countless hours of free airtime to all 134 other candidates for governor.

Creative Pitch

Some of the Comforts from Home

Cell Phones Aren't the Only Distraction for Drivers

The Hole - video powered by Metacafe

Students give up social networks for Lent

As this Easter approaches, some young and devout Christians are anxious to return to what they gave up for Lent: Internet sites Facebook and MySpace. Many users describe the popular social networking sites as addictive, which is why they say giving up these 21st-century temptations is a sincere sacrifice.

Catholics and others who observe Lent typically make sacrifices as a way to show religious devotion. Lent lasts from Ash Wednesday to Easter and correlates with the 40 days and 40 nights that the Bible says Jesus spent in the wilderness, fasting and resisting temptation.

I'm not quite sure that's what the Church had in mind but what I do know- I'm not Catholic.

Al Gore is 59 Today

I'm not sure who the skinny guy is in this picture but he appears to be running for President in 2008.

School Bus Mazto Oven Shut Down

A rabbi’s school bus retrofitted into an oven to bake matzos for Passover may be out of business.

Deputy building inspector Manny Carmona sent a letter Friday forbidding Rabbi Aaron Winternitz from using his contraption, which is located behind his house. The old, red and white bus had been converted into a supersized oven for Passover matzos—complete with a smokestack, exhaust fans and working fire.

Carmona ordered the rabbi earlier this week to move the bus at least 10 feet from the house, disconnect the unauthorized gas line fueling the oven, and prove that a licensed engineer had overseen the project. But in the end, he decided any changes that had been made were insufficient.

Friday, March 30, 2007

Star Trek's Scotty plots last course for the stars

The remains of actor James Doohan, who played the starship Enterprise's chief engineer Scotty on "Star Trek," will be blasted into space next month, the company organising the flight said on Friday.
The Canadian-born actor who inspired the catchphrase "Beam me up, Scotty" died two years ago at the age of 85.

Space Services spokeswoman Susan Schonfeld said Doohan's ashes will be sent up along with the remains of some 200 other people, including astronaut Gordon Cooper, who first went into space in 1963. Cooper died in 2004 at age 77.

Space Services is a commercial venture that charges $495 to send a sample of a person's ashes into suborbital space. Capsules containing the ashes are retrieved, mounted on plaques and given back to relatives.

Future Trophy First Lady or Political Advisor?

Fred Thompson's political consultant wife, Jeri Kehn, is reportedly urging the former senator to make a bid for the presidency next year.

Jeri Kehn was a political media consultant at Verner, Liipfert, Bernhard and McPherson in the nation's capital when they married in 2002. She also previously worked for the Senate Republican Conference and the Republican National Committee.

The Wonkette site suggests that Kehn is a trophy wife. Commenter "Beansox" blasts Thompson's wife as a "gold-digger" and a "walking plastic barbie doll who spends more money on plastic surgery than they make in year". Perhaps it's the age difference since Thompson is 65 and Kehn is 40.

I don't see the problem with a photogenic first lady who also has a brain.

USC Song Girl Cheers At Wrong Time

More Hockey Violence

Morning Smile

Letters from Tehran

Serviceman, Royal Marine rifleman Nathan Thomas Summers, one of the 15 British service members held captive in Iran appeared Friday on the government's Arabic-language TV to read a statement.

"We are having a splendid time here in Iran. Not sure what the fuss back home is all about but everyone please do not worry. Our hosts have been wonderful. We just got back from a theme park - Qur'an World. It's a great place but the lineups at some of the rides, like Camel Drop and Burka Castle, were pretty long. Tomorrow starts the Tehran Film Festival and we have been able to score some tickets for an Abbas Kiaorstami comedy called George Bush Prays at Mashhad.

Our hosts have been really interested in my background as bicycle courier and have offered me an executive position at their Anarak nuclear facility responsible for transporting
plutonium-239, whatever that is. I'm giving it some thought but I really miss some of the things from back home like the tea. The stuff here is ruddy awful. Anyway I have to run. They televising a public stoning - what a riot that is."

Cool View of Niagara Falls

Thursday, March 29, 2007

I was forced to post this picture by a deranged Net fan

Ontario Doctor Shortage Improves Slightly

Ontarians have suffered from a significant doctor shortage for about a decade now. It's a distressing situation that was created by political mismanagement. Just 2 years ago my family physician retired which seems to be a common occurrence these days. I had to scramble around to find a new doctor to care for my family.

The shortage was caused by lows fees which created a physician migration out of the province. As well, fees have been particularly low for family and general practitioners which lead to new graduating doctors to shun this type of medicine.

A recent report released by the College of Physicians and Surgeons of Ontario suggests that the situation is improving. The report suggests that 63 per cent of the 2,961 licenses issued were for doctors from outside Ontario, including a large number of international medical graduates. The College has in the past been very tough on foreign trained doctors but has finally begun to loosen up.

The report also revealed just 9.6 per cent of doctors surveyed were accepting new patients in 2006. That was a sharp decline from 1999, when 39 per cent of family doctors reported they were accepting new patients. So despite the growth in doctors it is becoming more difficult to find a new family doctors. This problem is much more acute outside of Toronto.

So the bottom line is that things are being done to address the problem but things are just not improving quickly enough. We are a wealthy province in a wealthy country and deserve a better access to critical health care resources.

Is Your Coworker Crazy?

Someone, somewhere in your office is apt to drive you crazy. We won't mince any words, they don't just make you crazy, but they may be a bit crazy themselves. Find out how crazy your coworker is in this brief quiz, and whether you should start looking into a new job!

What a nice kitty kat

Jessica Biel in a latex cat outfit for this summer's big comedy hit I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry.

Peterson to Run for Conservatives

This is a bit of a shocker. The Tim Peterson, brother of former Liberal premier David Peterson has quit the provincial Liberal caucus to sit as an independent and will run for the Progressive Conservatives in the next provincial election.

The Peterson's are one Canada’s most prominent Liberal families, his brother, David, was premier from 1985 to 1990. His other brother, Jim, was a federal cabinet minister under former prime ministers Paul Martin and Jean Chretien.

It seems being overlooked for Cabinet positions made him open to overtures from John Tory. After all, there isn't much difference between Ontario Liberals and Conservatives.

Bush Cites Iraqi Bloggers

In an unusual step, President George W. Bush cited a pair of Iraqi bloggers on Wednesday to try to bolster his case that his troop buildup in Iraq is making progress.

Bombings in Iraq continue to take a heavy toll but Bush insisted U.S. and Iraqi forces circulating in Baghdad were making a difference, slowly. Bush did not identify the bloggers, but the White House said he was referring to an opinion article published March 5 in the Wall Street Journal by the two bloggers, Omar and Mohammed Fadhil.

Maybe Bush should try checking out the Riverbend blog to see what life in Bagdhad is really like.

Bears fan won't become 'Peyton Manning'

Chicago Bears fan Scott Wiese is no Peyton Manning after all. As I reported previously, the idiot Bear fan was only trying to change his name to make good on a bet he lost when the Colts beat the Bears in the Super Bowl.

Macon County Judge Katherine McCarthy ruled this week that Wiese can't legally call himself Peyton Manning because it would be too confusing and might infringe on the privacy of the Indianapolis Colts quarterback.

Wiese's parents, Debbie and Steve Wiese, were pleased by the judge's decision.

Pseudonym on new U.S. Stamp

I am honoured that the U.S. Postal Service has decided to put me on stamp. This clearly makes up for the snub where that low life R2D2 was selected as the design for mailboxes. Please vote for my stamp as your favourite image.

Another Reason to hate the Maple Leafs

Much like my day today

Hasn't missed an NFL game in 20 years

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

I think there is a resemblance

Knut Cleared of Murder

Zoo keepers have rejected claims that Knut the polar bear cub was in some way responsible for the death of one of Berlin zoo's other main attractions, a 22-year-old female panda named Yan Yan.

Knut became a global sensation last week after surviving rejection by his mother.

Early reports into the death of Yan Yan suggested the attention being heaped on Knut may have been too much for her.

However, a post mortem showed that Yan Yan died of heart failure caused by acute constipation. I never knew you could die from getting back up. Don't they have bear laxatives?

Hash Matzo: Not Kosher for Passover

Marijuana is not kosher for Passover, a pro-cannabis advocacy group says, advising Jews who observe the week-long holiday's special dietary laws to take a break from smoking the weed.

The Green Leaf Party announced on Wednesday that products of the cannibis plant have been grouped by rabbis within a family of foods such as peas, beans and lentils that is off-limits to Jews of European descent during Passover.

I guess we will have to stick to the sacramental wine for a holidya buzz.

New poll shows still no majority for Harper

A new poll suggests Prime Minister Stephen Harper might want to think twice about calling an election if he hopes to win a majority government.

The Decima survey, provided to The Canadian Press, puts the Tories at 35 per cent support nationally, with the Liberals at 31 per cent. The Conservatives would likely need at least 40 per cent support to secure a majority.

In Quebec, the Tories finished ahead of the Liberals for the first time in five months with 25 per cent support. The Liberals were at 20 per cent, while the Bloc Quebecois led with 34 per cent. But in Ontario, the Liberals held a commanding eight-point lead, with 41 per cent backing compared to 33 per cent for the Conservatives.

So what does this mean? Well there is a lot of volatility in the electorate and support seems to shift as the headlines in the media change. As well, these polls individually are not terribly accurate but when looking at a series of poll results you can certainly identify trends. So the Stephen Harper is taking a risk in calling an election this spring. Not only might he fail to gain a majority, but there is some risk of losing altogether.

More on the Quebec Election

I wonder if Andre Boisclair’s openly gay lifestyle contributed to separatist Parti Quebecois suffering its most resounding defeat in its recent history. Obviously there are other factors and voting patterns are difficult to interpret. But perhaps Quebec is not ready for a gay premier

Boisclair also admitted to having used cocaine when he was a cabinet minister in the 1990s. He referred to "the slanting eyes" of Asians in French and refused to apologize. He defended his right to use a turn of phrase most francophones consider innocent but which came as a shock to the ears of some Asians. He was roundly criticized for playing along with a tasteless TV spoof based on the gay cowboy movie "Brokeback Mountain."

The separatists will make a come back but will it be Boisclair leading the charge?

Wedgie Sends Boy To Hospital

Two Georgia teenagers were recently arrested in connection with what was a high school hazing ritual - a wedgie. The Charlton County High School golf team gave her son a contusion so painful she had to take her 13-year-old to the emergency room for treatment.

This would not be a problem for Brit or Lindsay. They don't wear underwear.

Is that a crocodile in your pants or....

A Palestinian woman was found to have three live crocodiles strapped to her stomach when she was stopped by EU officials at Gaza's border with Egypt. The reptiles, each around 40-50cm (15-20 inches) long, were taped to the woman's body beneath her dress.

But despite her loose fitting clothes, suspicions were raised by her large waistline.The woman told border guards she intended to sell the crocodiles to a zoo in Gaza City. The reptiles were sent back to Egypt.
First suicide bombers and now crocodiles.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

At the end of some days I feel like this

Sidney Crosby has a Doll

God Hates Shrimp

I found the cool parody blog called God Hates Shrimp. It ridicules using the Old Testament (specifically the book of Leviticus) as a basis for protesting gay marriage. Since the bible also says you can eat any fish if it has scales and fins, the authors conclude that God hates shrimp, lobster and scallops.

What Happened in Quebec

The Quebec election yesterday clearly rebuked the Liberals and Parti Québécois (PQ) although Premier Jean Charest escaped with a bare minority government. The election has given populist right-of-centre Action démocratique du Québec (ADQ) Leader Mario Dumont the whip hand.

Afterall, Charest was very unpopular over the past year and it was only the terrible performance by PQ leader Boisclair that allowed the Liberals to recover. It looked like they might get a majority but as the electorate looked around, the reasoned that Dumont was an interesting alternative. I don't think Quebecers are attracted by ADQ's fiscal and social conservatism but rather the commitment to more autonomy for Quebec inside Canada. That seems for now more attractive to another referendum or supporting federalists.

Of course Stephen Harper will interpret the results as a shift to the right in Quebec. That will convince him to drop the writ and start the campaign. However, it is not unusual for the electorate to vote one way provincially and another way federally. I don't believe Canadians are that ideologically driven - other than those annoying Blogging Tories and Liberals.

Someone Actually Paid for this Logo Design?

John McCain's MySpace Page has been Hacked

"Today I announce that I have reversed my position and come out in full support of gay marriage… particularly marriage between two passionate females."

Starbucks Barista Rant

The following was discovered on Chicago Craislist but has since been removed. It sad in a way and I believe shared by others in this line of work.

From Your Starbucks Barista

Date: 2007-03-18, 11:08PM CDT

To all of you silly, sad caffeine addicts who line up like lemmings for your overpriced lattes every morning: there are some things you should know.

1. We are not your friends. We are usually not your neighbors. In most cases, we absolutely loathe you, but we are outwardly friendly -- because we are paid to do so. You are not getting special treatment, and we really don’t give a shit about your last vacation or your new baby or your real estate problems. We ask how you’re doing because it’s a way of making conversation, and we are pressured to make conversation in this line of work. Now, there are some customers who are genuinely liked, but they’re few and far between. If you have to think about it, you’re probably not one of them.

2. Oh, you work from home? We are not your water-cooler break. We may be the only humans you have interacted with for days, but do not expect us to be interested in your stupid home business or your racist, sexist, totally unfunny commentary. Get your drink and get out.

3. Enough with repeating the George Carlin Starbucks order joke! It was funny the first time we heard it. Maybe. You are probably the four hundredth person to say it to me, expecting me to laugh, and I guarantee that you’re going to be disappointed.

4. Tipping is greatly appreciated. While Starbucks does provide great insurance and other benefits for its employees, and sometimes even a decent hourly wage, baristas are not guaranteed a certain amount of hours per week and NEVER get full-time hours. So: we have great health coverage but can barely buy groceries. Our tips help augment our meager paychecks. If you don’t want to tip, don’t - but quit bitching about it. I’ve noticed that the complexity of your drink order is quite often inversely proportionate to the size of your tip. The rudest and most difficult customers NEVER tip - usually the stay-at-home-moms wearing fifty grand worth of diamonds, yammering into their trendy pink KRAZRs and paying absolutely no attention to their horrible offspring (who are wreaking havoc in every way possible.) Bitches.

5. SKIM MILK is the same as NONFAT MILK. Do not order a “skim nonfat latte” – it’s redundant. Similarly, don’t say that you want a “grande skim latte” and then correct me when I call out “grande nonfat latte.” You bitch. Which brings me to:

6. We are trained to call out drink orders in a particular way. This helps to ensure that we get all of your stupid, nitpicky details correct. DO NOT• Correct me (see above)• Tell me as snottily as possible that you “don’t speak Starbucks.” That is quite possibly one of the dumbest statements I’ve ever heard.• Keep asking me, “Is it decaf? Did you get that? I ordered decaf. Are you sure it’s decaf?” F+CK YOU. Yes, I got it.• Tell me how to make a drink. I know what goes into a mocha. You probably couldn’t make one if someone had a gun to your head.
I may as well continue! DON’T:• Lean on the hand-off counter, effectively blocking any of the people who ordered BEFORE you from getting their coffee.• Take your drink, rip the top off, gulp down one-third to one-half of it, and then ask me to “top it off.”• Snatch the first drink to come up, because of course it's yours! You’re the only f+cking customer in the place! You ordered a grande latte and this is a Frappuccino, what does it matter! You got there first!• Scream at me because you don't want whipped cream, when you never specified that.• Get all pissy when I ask if you want whipped cream on a nonfat mocha. Because some people do, the drink usually comes with it, and we are here to serve your demanding ass.• Come in wearing a floor-length fur coat and, when asked if you need a bag for your purchase, say no because you want to “save some trees.” Please save me the forehead bruise.• Hold your two-year-old up to the pastry case and ask him to choose something. Grown men (well, stupid grown men) are struck dumb by the variety at times; no toddler will be able to work out what he wants in under three days. Select something for him and move on.

7. If you are yapping away on your cell phone when you get up to the counter, TELL THE PERSON ON THE OTHER END TO HOLD ON. Do not try to communicate what you want by hand gestures. Do not stare at me blankly – YOU approached ME. Especially, do not roll your eyes at me and heave a sigh before bitchily telling me what you want while still babbling into the phone.

8. If we’re out of the sippy-cup lids and have to give you a regular old flat lid with a tear tab (this occasionally happens) – do not freak out and scream at the manager that it will spill and ruin your “very expensive car.” Buddy, I’ve seen that car (you double-park it outside the front door almost every f+cking day) and it’s not all that, so get off your f+cking high horse. And if you have enough money for that pricey auto, either buy a decent travel mug with a locking lid, or get the f+cking car detailed if something spills. And maybe lay off the caffeine. Asshole.

9. If you order a Frappuccino, I will hate you even more.

10. Quit bitching about the names of everything. Yes, there is a “tall" size. No, it’s not the smallest size – that would be the “short.” Somewhere along the line, it got dropped from the menu, but can still be ordered. It doesn’t make much sense to me either, but I didn’t come up with the nomenclature for this shit. Order by the names on the menu, because I’ve had people ask for a "medium coffee" and get inexplicably pissed off when I give them a grande. Which is a medium coffee. If you eat at McDonald’s, you put a “Mc” in front of just about everything – get the f+ck over yourself and get used to it.

11. Keep your f+cking $1200, four-foot-wide Bugaboo stroller out. Of. The. Store.

12. If you are one of the seriously annoying, mind-bogglingly stupid Change People, it's very likely that I'm restraining the urge to beat you senseless. Especially if you say something like, "I have twenty-four cents, if it helps…" – you are not helping anyone. F+ck you and your exact change. Don’t giggle and tell me how heavy it's making your bag and that you need to get rid of it. How about this: remove your spare change from your bag or pockets daily. Throw it in a change jar. When the jar fills up, cash it in. So simple, anyone can do it!

13. When you order "three shots of espresso, over ice, in a venti cup, extra ice" – WE KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING. You’re stealing, because you pay a lot less for that than you would for a latte, and then you fill it to the brim with milk from the condiment bar pitchers. You probably eat at buffets all the time and surreptitiously stuff your shoulder bag full of food, too. It’s a hard lesson to learn, but you really should learn it: if you can’t afford something, don’t f+cking buy it. Asshole.

14. Just because I work at Starbucks doesn’t mean I’m stupid. If I had a penny for everyone who treated me like a complete idiot because I work in the service industry, I’d be a retired billionaire by now. I probably scored higher than you did on standardized tests, am better-read, better-educated, a better writer, more articulate, more interesting, more observant, and better-traveled. However, because I am an artist (as are many of my co-workers) I don’t make the kind of money that the lawyers, doctors, and CEOs of the world do; this does not, however, make me a second-class citizen. So stop f+cking treating me (and everyone else who works at Starbucks) like one.

15. Have a nice f+cking day, you bastards!

Monday, March 26, 2007

School Bus Matzo Oven

A school bus that had been converted into a supersized oven for Passover matzos, complete with smokestack, exhaust fans and working fire, was fueled by gas lines illegally attached to a nearby house

The bus, in the backyard of a residence owned by the rabbi of a Hasidic Jewish congregation, was turning out thin, crisp matzo crackers for next week's Passover holiday. The rabbi denied there was any danger, and there were indications authorities would let him off the hook after some adjustments.

Police found the bus bakery early Friday after a neighbor smelled smoke.

Pungent pulp: Panda poop perfect for paper

Researchers at a giant panda reserve in southern China are looking for paper mills to process their surplus of fiber-rich panda excrement into high quality paper. The idea came to them after a visit to Thailand last year where they found paper made from elephant dung. They thought panda poop would produce an even finer quality paper.

The center's 40 bamboo-fed pandas produce about 2 tons of droppings a day, but Liao said he was not sure yet how much paper would result.

She charges by the hour

Blades of Glory

A big marketing push is on for this movie opening on March 30 about 2 male figure skaters who compete in pairs. FYI, same-sex pairs already compete in the Gay Games.
My prediction is that the movie is as lame a 3-legged horse but it will still make bushels of money.

Dirty Dancing movie is 20 years old

...and today Jennifer Grey turns 47. Seems like just yesterday when she landed the role of Baby in Dirty Dancing which made her a star. She burnt out quickly though. Didn't hear much about her afterwards except a lot of gossip about her nose job.

Many Americans See Little Value in the Internet

Twenty-nine percent of all U.S. households (31 million homes) do not have Internet access and do not intend to subscribe to an Internet service over the next 12 months, according to Parks Associates, a market research and consulting firm.

The main reason for non-subscribers is not economic but a low perceived value of the Internet. Forty-four percent of these households say they are not interested in anything on the Internet, and just 22% say they cannot afford a computer or the cost of Internet service.

New York Cops Spied on Canadians

For at least a year before the 2004 Republican National Convention, teams of undercover New York City police officers traveled to cities across the United States, Canada and Europe to conduct covert observations of people who planned to protest at the convention, according to police records and interviews. New York police officers attended meetings of political groups in Montreal, posing as sympathizers or fellow activists.

Read about this story in the NY Times.

Last Remaining Guest from Elton John's 60th Birthday Party

Startling Discovery

Hundreds of rodents, pigeons found in downtown Toronto apartment

Police went to a 15th-floor apartment at 275 Bleecker St., just north of Wellesley St. and west of Parliament St., after complaints by tenants in the building. They found literally hundreds of pigeons flying loose, rats, mice, excrement from (the) animals.

A nut case in his 60s -- the lone human occupant of the apartment -- was arrested under the provincial Mental Health Act after he was "deemed to be suffering from a mental illness."

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Aren't they great parents?

A Kentucky couple is charged with trying to sell a 15-month-old girl for three-thousand dollars and a SUV.

A Daviess County Sheriff's lieutenant says 32-year-old Charles Hope Junior and 26-year-old Amber Revlett allegedly planned to use the money to pay off his fines for previous criminal charges.

Stages of Life

I think Bush may be re-thinking his anti-gay position

...perhaps next is the Iraqi War.

Donald Trump Owns Her Ass for the Next 12 Months

Rachel Smith, a journalism graduate from Tennessee, was crowned Miss USA on Friday night, She graduated from Belmont University and also interned last year for the production company behind "The Oprah Winfrey Show."

The Miss USA Pageant began in 1952 as a swimwear promotion in Long Beach.

Outgoing Miss USA, Tara Conner said her future plans included writing a book, and doing "correspondence work and a little bit of acting." I bet Playboy will be contacting her agent some time next week.

Iranians Continue to Threaten the Western Establishment

Iran continues to directly confront the West as it proceeds full speed with its nuclear program. The latest incident where it seized 15 British Royal Marines is no coincident. The border between Iraq and Iran on the Shatt al-Arab waterway has been in dispute for decades. Thus, the possibility that British Royal Marines were inside Iranian territorial waters when they were abducted should not be entirely discounted. But it would be naive to think that the incident in the Persian Gulf was coincidental - especially in view of its timing.

The incident occurred a day before the United Nations Security Council convened to decide on further sanctions in view of Tehran's refusal to heed the international demand it cease its nuclear enrichment program. In response, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad canceled his appearance before the Security Council, where he was supposed to present Iran's position.

The cancellation may also be the result of excessive caution on the part of Iran's rulers, particularly in view of the disappearance from Turkey of Ali Askari, former head of the Al-Quds Brigade, the elite unit of the Revolutionary Guard. Askari most likely defected to the West about six weeks ago. The Iranians say he was kidnapped.

Several months earlier, an elite U.S. unit raided the Iranian consulate in Irbil, northern Iraq, and arrested five Iranians, possibly intelligence agents. Iran maintains that they enjoyed diplomatic immunity.

Following the disappearance of Askari, Iranian analysts with ties to the regime wrote that Iran could respond with abductions of its own. It is possible that the arrest of the British troops is Iran's countermove. Such action against U.S. troops would have been unlikely because of concerns of a severe American response. From Iran's point of view, the British are a 'soft' target, and a convenient way to signal it will respond to any assault on its sovereignty.

If the British Marines are not released in a few days, as happened in a similar incident in 2004, the crisis my take a sharp turn for the worst..

So that's what it looks like

Vivica Fox to Host New ABC Series, "DUI With the Stars"

Hollywood, CA (O! Online) - ABC announced today that 42-year-old actress Vivica Fox, just last night arrested for a DUI while driving her car at approximately 80 miles an hour on the Hollywood Freeway, would be starring in a brand-new series called "DUI With the Stars". ABC stated that it was looking to build upon the success of the immensely popular "Dancing With the Stars" series.

ABC stated that it already had commitments from A-list stars such as Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears for future episodes.

The premise of the show will be to enlighten the average viewer as to the intricacies involved with the legal system in regards to plea bargaining, rehab placement, and community service in the ever expanding problem with substance abuse in America.

Stars will be asked to consume enough alcohol to register at minimum 0.1 BAC, the cutoff level for intoxication in the majority of states in the US, and then subsequently perform a field sobriety test for the home viewing audience. The contestants will then be rated in the categories of believability, sympathy, remorse, and commitment by a panel of judges from the Republican National Committee. Former House Representative Mark Foley has wholeheartedly endorsed the project and will appear on the initial panel of judges.

Fox's publicist related that she was excited about the prospect of advancing understanding of substance abuse in America as a result of her preliminary plea bargain with California prosecutors.

Top 10 Signs That a Federal Election Will Happen Soon

10. Stephen Harper has a poverty platform and Stephane Dion has a law and order platform.
9. Polls suggest a possible majority government - or not.
8. Party leaders are cashing in their air miles points.
7. Candidates boot camp (or how to smile and not put your foot in your mouth).
6. Political attack ads are showing up on my PVR.
5. Lawns have thawed out enough to bang in campaign signs.
4. Gee, its been over a year since the last one.
3. Retired hockey players are wooed as star candidates.
2. Every politician seems to have a plan on how to spend $200 billion of tax revenue on you.
1. Nobody wants an election.

Gender Differences

The differences in men and women have been well documented. But below for the first time is a complete list. After reviewing the list - you tell me which is the superior sex.

1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
3. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
4. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
5. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
6. Taxis stop for us.
7. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
8. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies (you get the point).
9. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
10. No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo.
11. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
12. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
13. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her
14. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure
our privates are still there.
15. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
16. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
17. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
18. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
19. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
20. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
21. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
22. We'll never discover we've been duped by a Wonderbra.

1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2. You know stuff about tanks.
3. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
4. Monday Night Football.
5. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
6. You can open all your own jars.
7. Old friends don't annoy you if you've lost or gained weight.
8. Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.
9. When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.
10. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
11. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.
12. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
13. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
14. Your last name stays put.
15. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
16. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
17. You can kill your own food.
18. The garage is all yours.
19. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
20. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.
21. You never have to clean the toilet.
22. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
23. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
24. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
25. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.
26. The National College Cheerleading Championship
27. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
28. You don't have to shave below your neck.
29. If you're 34 and single nobody notices.
30. Everything on your face stays its original color.
31. Chocolate is just another snack.
32. You can be president.
33. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
34. Flowers fix everything.
35. You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
36. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
37. Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
38. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
39. You can say anything and not worry about what people think.
40. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
41. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
42. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.
43. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
44. You don't care if someone notices your new haircut.
45. You can watch a game in silence with your buddy for hours without even thinking: He must be mad at me.
46. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.
47. You get to jump up and slap stuff.
48. One mood, all the time.
49. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
50. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
51. Same work....more pay.
52. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
53. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
54. You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back.
55. You don't mooch off others' desserts.
56. The remote is yours and yours alone.
57. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
58. ESPN's sports center.
59. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
60. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
61. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
62. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your friends you've changed.
63. Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
64. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.
65. Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.
66. If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.
67. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
68. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.
69. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So... notice anything different?"
70. Baywatch
71. There is always a game on somewhere.

Gross Me Out

A restaurant that is decorated using bathroom fixtures. Just what I always wanted to do, eat dinner over a basin sitting on a toilet seat.