Ottawa Senators are in the Stanley Cup Finals

Bring the Cup back to Canada!

Nice Diamond Ring

Mrs. Pseudo would love to get her hands on that.

Hamas Wants a War With Israel

Will Israel be provoked into another war this summer? Hamas in Gaza is desperately trying to start a fight. In mid- April, Hamas ended a six-month pause and resumed firing rockets into southern Israel. Three thousand rockets have landed in the past month; 80 in just the past three days. (Video of the attacks on Sderot can be viewed below)

Israel desperately wants not to invade Gaza. Over the past year, Hamas has fortified the region: building bunkers, digging ditches, planting mines. Israelis can recognize a military trap when they see one.

Israelis can also recognize a political trap. For months, Gaza's political factions have waged war on each other. Some 45 Palestinians have died in the fighting in just the past week. Hamas hopes that an Israeli invasion would unite the Gazans against Israel--and under Hamas.

In hope of avoiding the trap, Israel has relied on indirect tactics. This week, for example, Israel allowed 500 U.S.- trained Palestinian militiamen to enter Gaza from Egypt, to reinforce Fatah against Hamas. Israeli intelligence may also have helped foil a Hamas assassination plot against Palestinian president Mahmoud Abbas, although details on that story remain murky and not entirely convincing.

The question is how long can Israel avoid another war with a neighbour that is chomping at the bit.

I might be watching more of the Triathlon

Kirsten Sweetland from Nanaimo, British Columbia is the junior world champion and at 18 has just become the youngest Canadian to win a World Cup Triathlon. In fact she is ranked 3rd in the world and now becomes an Olympic contender. She has her own blog.

An Inconvenient Truth as required classroom viewing

I enjoyed Al Gore's documentary An Inconvenient Truth and it was important piece of work because it got people thinking about and debating global warming. It's great to get the message out but it is possible to oversell the issue which is beginning to bother people. Let's face it no one can 100% predict the future. And as a scientific presentation, it doesn't stand up to scrutiny. There are incorrect facts in the film.

The worrisome part is that school boards around the world are mandating teachers to show the film in classrooms without providing a proper balance and ensuring that some of the more contentious theories are properly debated. In England, the government has made the movie part of the public curriculum. In Spain, the government is buying copies of the movie for all of its schools. In Australia, private donors are buying copies for schools. But in some jurisdictions a more balanced approach is being taken. A Washington-state school board now requires that any teacher showing the film must ensure a "credible, legitimate opposing view will be presented" as well.

But at the end of the day, students need to also told what facts of the film cannot be disputed. Because when the debating has ended, we still need to act to protect the environment.

Jessica Biel on the cover of Gear magazine

At age 17, Jessica Biel provided Gear magazine one of the most controversial and provocative pictorials of all-time. Her reasoning? To shed from her "good girl" image from her then-starring vehicle Seventh Heaven. Co-starring in "Summer Catch" did nothing to correct this, but by joining "Rules of Attraction" with James Van Der Beek, perhaps Biel really was trying to show that she's all grown up.

Belgian Senate Candidate Knows How to Buy Votes

OMG. Tania Derveaux, the leading NEE party senate candidate in Belgium, is offering to give away blow jobs. 40,000 of them, to be exact. Apparently this all started as a joke when in response to an opposing party's claims of offering "new job opportunities in ridiculous amounts", Tania posed naked in a parody campaign, promising voters 40,000 *jobs*. Due to "popular demand", Tania is going to make a "political protest" by sucking it up, taking a 500 day to tour around the world, and giving 40,000 blow jobs.

Fred Thompson is Running a Great Campaign

Having watched the second Republican debate the other night, it's clear to me the subject today is Fred Thompson, the man who wasn't there," former Reagan and Bush 41 speechwriter, author and conservative commentator Peggy Noonan writes this morning at The Wall Street Journal's free online OpinionJournal. "While the other candidates bang away earnestly in a frozen format, Thompson continues to sneak up from the creek and steal their underwear -- boxers, briefs and temple garments.

"He is running a great campaign. It's just not a declared campaign. It's a guerrilla campaign whose informality is meant to obscure his intent. It has been going on for months and is aimed at the major pleasure zones of the Republican brain."

Of course the same can be said about Al Gore who criss crosses the globe talking about the environment and not talking about Iraq, abortion, homeland security, Social Security, etc.

What Can You Do About High Gas Prices?

For several years now I've received chain emails from friends about gas boycotts. How it would work is that on a particular day, no one would by gas. Like the fear of no gas sales on a single day would shake the foundations of the gas industry. Not likely.

A one-day boycott is silly because it would have no impact on consumption or price. People would buy gas either the day before or after and only inconvenience themselves because it would likely cause line ups at gas pumps.

Now a 30-day boycott would bring down prices. That's because price is largely a product of demand. Higher consumption leads to higher prices since the supply of oil in this planet is not unlimited.

In fact, an article in USA Today, suggests that high prices are affecting consumption. The average American motorist is driving substantially fewer miles for the first time in 26 years because of high gas prices and demographic shifts. The last time American cut back on driving was in 1981 when there was a shortage of gas and a recession. Gas prices reached an all-time high of $3.223 in March 1981 when adjusted for inflation in today's dollars. If this trend continues, there will be an impact at the pumps.

The point is, you can do a lot more than signing up for a Facebook group or participating in a useless boycott if you are upset at paying too much for gas.

Conservative Party has dirty tricks manual

The National Post reports the governing Conservatives have a secret guidebook that details how to unleash chaos while chairing parliamentary committees which has been given to select Tory MPs.

Running some 200 pages including background material, the document -- given only to Conservative chairmen -- tells them how to favour government agendas, select party-friendly witnesses, coach favourable testimony, set in motion debate-obstructing delays and, if necessary, storm out of meetings to grind parliamentary business to a halt. The manual even offers up speeches for a chairman under attack.

All this might lead one to think that Stephen Harper was being somewhat less than forthright when he contended the other day that opposition parties are solely responsible for the recent committee paralysis in parliament. I wonder what other helpful little guidebooks the PMO has given to Conservative ministers and MPs. The way the government is leaking these days, it’s only a matter of time before we find out.

The Pessimist's Mug

In these irrationally exuberant times, it's getting harder and harder for the self-respecting pessimist to stay unhappy. So pervasive is the hope, so overwhelming the positivity, that without the firmest grip on your sullen perspective, you might actually lose it. Then one day, you wake up looking at the bright side, whistling some inane showtune, and generally annoying everyone around you.

Fortunately, Despair, Inc. is proud to introduce The Pessimist's Mug™ Specifically engineered by the chronically cynical pessimists of Despair Laboratories™, this crystal-clear mug will help all who drink from it to Stay Grounded™ by forever reminding them to see when the glass is half-empty.

Why is Jessica Simpson at the Cannes Film Festival?

....maybe she thinks its the CANS Film Festival.

If only life really worked this way

Loonie Going Up

Summer vacation is around the corner and I can now buy a U.S. Dollar for less than $1.10 Canadian. I predict Mrs. Pseudo will be shopping up a storm!

Must be a long weekend

....gas prices are up this morning.

I think I've become a pole vault fan

Allison Stokke, is a California high school senior, pole vault extraordinaire. Never had interest in pole vaulting whatsoever, but take one look at this girl, and I think you’ll understand my willingness to get a better appreciation for it.

Ontario Referendum This Fall

On October 10 when Ontarians vote for a new government, they will also be deciding on election reforms. The Ontario Citizens’ Assembly on Electoral Reform has now released its final report. Click HERE to read it (note: this launches a PDF). I recently reported on the reform proposal which entails voting for a local MPP and your party preference. So you get one ballot but two votes.

Just like today, the 107 local candidates with the most votes wins the election in their respective riding. In addition, the remaining 22 seats in the Legislature will be apportioned based on the number of votes received on a party basis. So, let's say you vote for the NDP candidate in your riding and for the party. The candidate loses but the NDP receive 20% of all party votes. The NDP will receive 4 additional seats in the Legislature based on the party voting. Therefore, no longer can you say your vote doesn't count. Every vote now will influence the outcome of the election.

Your preferred local candidate need not be from the same party that you endorse on the party vote. So if you normally support a certain party but want to vote for a particular local candidate not from that party because he or she would make a great MPP, that would now be possible. Vote splitting will become evident because we would likely see a scenario where a candidate gets 40% of the vote but the party gets only 30%.

Below is a hypothetical ballot from a democratic SPACE.

click to enlargen

Paris gets 45 days for breaking probation...make that 23 days or....

Known for a partying lifestyle and seldom far from a scandal, Paris Hilton isn't often recognized for her good behavior. But jail officials have credited good behavior, including the hotel heiress' appearance at her latest court date, for reducing Hilton's prison sentence from 45 days to at least 23.

Hilton will serve her time separated from the general inmate population in a "special needs housing unit" at the Century Regional Detention Center in Lynwood, California, The Associated Press reported. These cells are specifically reserved for high-profile inmates — including celebrities, police officers and prison guards — who might otherwise be targeted by fellow prisoners.

I'm going out on a limb here and predicting she doesn't stay in the slammer for even a week. How's that for justice?

Canada to Ban Foreign Strippers

Foreign strippers would be prevented from working in Canada under legislation tabled Wednesday by the Conservative government. If adopted by Parliament, Bill C-57 would allow immigration officers to reject foreign workers at risk of being humiliated, degraded or sexually exploited.

An advocacy group for exotic dancers blasted the bill as a crass move that would bar legitimate visa applicants while doing little to protect women from the underground sex trade.

Judy Sgro, the former Liberal immigration minister, resigned in 2004 amid accusations that she fast-tracked the immigration papers of a Romanian stripper who worked on her election campaign.

Well if this bill does get passed it will mean more opportunities for Canadian-born strippers to be humiliated, degraded and sexually exploited. Great work by the Conservative government!!

Is This Love?

Joe Hardy is 84 years old and founded 84 Lumber, the third largest home improvement chain in America. It's a distant 3rd behind Lowe's and Home Depot, but Hardy is still a billionaire.

Kristin Georgi is 22 years old and used work in the salon at a Hardy family resort in Pennsylvania.

Hardy married his first wife in 1947, and stayed married for 50 years. When they divorced he jumped right on his next wife who was 26 at the time (a mere age gap of 48 years). Now he's 62 years older than his current wife, Kristin.

My guess is Hardy wants to spend all his money before he dies and he wants to have a good time doing it. Georgi wants Gucci shoes, and purses and a lifetime of happiness. For that, she's willing to endure this old fat guy for a few years until he croaks.

Or there is another possibility. Maybe they're really in love?

Pot Found in McDonald's Happy Meal

Keith and Andrea Irelan got quite a surprise on Monday night when they went through a McDonald's drive-thru in suburban Chicago and ordered three Happy Meals for their children.
They went to a nearby park for a picnic where their 8-year-old daughter noticed a few odd things in her package.

First she found a lighter. Then she found a pipe and a bag of marijuana. The Irelans immediately took it to police, who determined that it belonged to a 17 year-old high school senior who worked at the McDonald's.

He's been charged with possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia. He's also been fired. McDonald's has apologized to the Irelans.

But consistent with mindset that you try to capitalize on someone else's mistake, they say they might sue despite no harm being done.

Forensic Evidence in Conflict with Sylvester's Statement

Both of Alicia Ross's nasal bones were found to be broken when her skull was discovered, a forensic expert told the Daniel Sylvester murder trial yesterday - testimony that appeared to contradict Mr. Sylvester's account of the injuries he inflicted on Ross in what he says was a fatal but accidental encounter.

In videotaped police statements already played to the jury at his trial, the admitted killer acknowledged slapping Ms. Ross's cheek and inflicting a bloody gash in the back of her head during a late-night brawl in the walkway dividing their adjacent Markham homes.

But nowhere in his reconstruction of events did he tell of hitting his neighbour in the face with sufficient force to break her nose. Yesterday's testimony came from forensic anthropologist Katherine Gruspier, a consultant to the provincial coroner's office with wide experience in former war zones.

Dr. Gruspier is the prosecution's final witness. Tomorrow the defence is expected to present its case. Not sure if the prosecution has presented a strong case pointing to murder as opposed to manslaughter but we shall see how the jury sees it.

Bob Barker is retiring

...so here is one of many stupid contestants he's had on the Price is Right.

Not to sure what this is but....

it appears to be a British reality TV show involving a search for a husband.

What kind of shoes are those for a Super Hero?

This is going to be an OnStar ad real soon

In a counterpoint to the auto-heist movie "Gone in Sixty Seconds," Slidell police recovered a stolen pickup truck less than a minute after it was reported missing thanks to an assist from the OnStar satellite tracking service.

Aa man who had been gambling for seven hours at a casino in Biloxi, Miss., called Biloxi police and OnStar to report that his 2006 Chevrolet Silverado pickup had been stolen from the parking lot.

An OnStar operator tracked the vehicle to Pontchartrain Drive in Slidell and notified Slidell police at precisely 12:05:39 a.m. As luck would have it, an officer was in the area and found the pickup parked outside a convenience store at 12:06:35 a.m., just 56 seconds after police learned it had been stolen.

The officer detained a passenger, but the driver apparently had run away as police arrived.
From there things took a decidedly low-tech turn as a police dog tracked a suspect to a nearby used-car lot and latched its jaws onto his arm when he refused to surrender.

I can now exercise while I blog

Paying Their Respect to Jerry Falwell

Would Jerry Falwell have approved of this picture of Vanessa Minnillo and Nick Lachey

Marble Slab Falls from First Canadian Place

n January, chunks of the Gardiner Expressway came crashing down. In March, it was ice on the CN Tower. Today another dangerous incident took place after a huge slab of marble fell some 60 floors from the tower at First Canadian Place. Incredibly, the huge rock didn't hit anyone, plummeting to the third floor before a precipice broke its fall. But officials have no idea if that's the only piece that's loose.

As a result, police have closed down a section of King Street West and Adelaide Street West, from York to Bay. No pedestrian or vehicular traffic is being allowed through until further notice. It's not clear what caused the mishap.

Jerry Falwell Remembered

In 1977, he supported the singer Anita Bryant’s efforts to repeal a Dade County, Fla., ordinance granting equal rights to gay men and lesbians.

In 1984, Mr. Falwell sued Hustler for $45-million, charging that he was libelled by a liquor-ad parody that quoted him as saying he lost his virginity to his mother in an outhouse but eventually lost in a landmark 1988 U.S. Supreme Court decision that held that even pornographic spoofs about a public figure enjoy First Amendment protection.

In 1999, he told an evangelical conference that the Antichrist was a male Jew who was probably already alive.

Also in 1999 on National Liberty Journal warned parents that Tinky Winky, a purple, purse-toting character on television's Teletubbies show, was a gay role model and morally damaging to children.

Days after Sept. 11, 2001, Falwell essentially blamed feminists, gays, lesbians and liberal groups for bringing on the terrorist attacks.

He used his show to promote a videotape called "The Clinton Chronicles," which alleged that then-President Bill Clinton was at the center of a criminal conspiracy involving drug dealing and murder.

Shane Doan vs. The Bloc

Guess we know who won this show down.

He Must Have a Hard Head

A white paneled delivery truck ran over a UW-Madison graduate student's head and, except for a concussion, he wasn't hurt. Ryan Lipscomb, 26, said he was riding his bicycle pretty fast down a bike path where it parallels with a local street, Eastwood Drive. Eastwood had a green light, so the crosswalk for the bike path showed a white walk sign, Lipscomb said.

He saw the large truck, preparing to make a right turn onto Division Street. Lipscomb said he could tell the truck wasn't going to stop. So Lipscomb slammed on his brakes, flipping his bike and throwing himself into the street. He landed right at the intersection of Eastwood and Division.

The truck ran over his head.

The helmet is all flattened and mangled and broken, unlike his head.

Sylvester denies sexual assault of Alicia Ross

The jury continued to hear the videotaped confession of Daniel Sylvester today that was recorded by policy on September 22, 2005. Sylvester was reported to be quite agitated in the video with regards to suggestions that he sexually assaulted Alicia Ross. However, the circumstance described by Sylvester could possible cause some doubt. I just wonder if this is a case where he perhaps protests too much. Who would want to go to prison with the suspicion of being sexual predator.

The night he killed Ross, the jury in his second-degree murder trial has heard he drove more than an hour northeast of his home and hid her body in a wooded area near the small town of Manilla, Ont.

After hiding her body and looking for a spot to deposit garbage bags filled with clothes, Sylvester admitted he then pulled over his car and masturbated. "In order to alleviate the panic I tried to, you know calm down, I masturbated," Sylvester said.

Sylvester said he wiped himself off with a piece of clothing, which he threw into the bag and believed there was a chance that semen might have mixed with the other clothing in the bag, including Ross’s torn t-shirt and a torn dress.

He said her clothes were ripped when he twisted them to get a better grip so he could drag her dead body from the side of his house and into the garage of his Markham home. Sylvester said he removed Ross’s ripped t-shirt and dress and put them into a garbage bag because he knew police would think something sexual happened if they discovered her dead body with torn clothing.

Stallone Pleads guilty

Sly Stallone pleaded guilty in Australia today for bringing the human-growth hormone Jintropin into their country. The muscle-enhancing hormone is banned in their country. Sly did not appear in court, but said:

Sly will be sentenced next week and is expected to pay a fine of $36,000 and serve zero jail time.

Look at his photo though. He looks a little scary. Either his hair dye is seeping into his brain or he needs to cut back on the steroids and/or growth hormones.

Fast Furniture

Here is a photo of the world's fastest sofa - zooming at a record-breaking 92mph. The road-legal settee has its own desk with plants, a cuppa and a plate of biscuits on.

And by clicking here you can watch an exclusive video of the ride.

The previous record of 87mph was set in 1998 by engineer Ed China - the man who built the new wacky machine for company sofa.com.

The feat will be featured in the 2008 edition of The Guinness Book of World Records along with The Sun's very own Lup Fun Yau.

This is sooo creepy

It has been reported that Joey Buttafuoco and Amy Fisher were splitting from their respective spouses; now the infamous pair are planning to reunite in what is expected to explode into a very profitable reality series, says UPI.

Freshly out of a California jail having served time on weapons charges, Joey Buttafuoco was long ago dumped by wife Mary Jo -- who survived a gunshot to her head by a then 17-year-old Fisher, and yet defended her erstwhile spouse in spite of the fact he had an affair with the girl.
Mary Jo was even instrumental in the release of Fisher from jail, showing her a great deal of concern and care, which resulted in Fisher being released early.

Buttafuoco re-married, and his current and second wife, Evanka, who is now to be pushed aside as Buttafuoco makes a grab for the girl he had an adult/child affair with in 1991, says she is “devastated.”

Fisher shot Buttafuoco’s wife Mary Jo in 1992 and served 7 years in jail, but Buttafuoco was not charged in the shooting.

“I still have feelings for her,” Buttafuoco says. “I can’t wait to have dinner with her. I can’t wait to be with her. I can’t wait to touch her.”

Definitely Alcohol was Involved

Canucks Playoff Team Picture

No Hair Coverage

Quick quiz…You might reasonably expect your health insurance plan to pay if you lose your:

a) hearing

b) kidney

c) teeth

d) hair

If you chose hair, you’re probably this bald guy in Germany who actually argued that his health plan should cover the cost of his hairpiece. But even in Germany, where a generous health insurance system has been known to fund trips to spa resorts and breast implants, a court drew the line at wigs. The court’s advice to the bald guy? Get a hat. Here’s the story.

Germany supporter wears a wig with the colors of the national flag

They need to attract a better clientele

Bostonians are calling it "The Brawl at Symphony Hall." And the patron who got popped in the face on opening night at the Boston Pops is now planning to press charges.

Matthew Ellinger says the trouble started when the man in front of him wouldn't stop talking during the concert. He says when he asked him to quiet down, the guy threatened to throw him off the balcony. Ellinger called an usher. Witnesses say the man then punched the victim in the face and grabbed him by the hair.

TV video shows the rowdy being escorted out of the balcony, his shirt unbuttoned and hanging off his shoulders. Boston Pops conductor Keith Lockhart briefly halted the performance, which featured Ben Folds, while the men were escorted out.

What a view!

Competitors running across the Millau viaduct during the 'Viaduc' race, a 23.550-kilometer (14.633 miles) run from Millau to Millau, southern France, Sunday, May 13, 2007. The Millau viaduct is the world's tallest bridge

The Answer is Not "C"

Dear Michael,

Every year I attempt to boost my students' final grades by giving them this relatively simple exam consisting of 100 True/False questions from only 3 chapters of material. For the past 20 years that I have taught Intro Communications 101 at this institution I have never once seen someone score below a 65 on this exam. Consequently, your score of a zero is the first in history and ultimately brought the entire class average down a whole 8 points.

There were two possible answer choices: A (True) and B (False). You chose C for all 100 questions in an obvious attempt to get lucky with a least a quarter of the answers. It's as if you didn't look at a single question. Unfortunately, this brings your final grade in this class to failing. See you next year!May God have mercy on your soul.

Sincerely,

Professor William Turner

P.S. If all else fails, go with B from now on. B is the new C.

Canada Wins Gold

Team Canada won an unexpected gold today at the 2007 World Championships. It was a team that it almost seemed like no one wanted to play for as one after another NHL star turned down an invitation to play. The top line of captain Shane Doan, Matthew Lombardi and Rick Nash was its most reliable and carried the team offensively. In addition, the team recieved great goaltending from Cam Ward and Dwayne Roloson who equally shared the goaltending. This was the third world championship title in five years.

Happy Mother's Day

Dennis Rodman is 46 Today

... and I bet his mom is so proud of him too.

My Garden's Progress

click to enlargen

Pillow Fight Results

Well about 1,000 people indicated on Facebook that they would be attending the first Annual Toronto Pillow Fight. It's hard to say how many actually did attend but more brought with cameras than pillow. The event was largely without incident except for a couple of bloody noses. When it was over many stayed to clean up.