Friday, December 11, 2009

War on Hanukkah

Why isn't anyone reporting on the War on Hanukkah (or Hannukah or Chanukkah - I never really was sure how to spell it). Recently, I went to see my town's Hannukah Bush and was outraged that they were calling it a "Holiday Tree." It's not a "Holiday Tree" it's a "Hanukah Bush" (or Chanukah Bush - not sure which) Unfortunately, the forces of political correctness and inclusion are bending over backwards not to offend Gentiles. This country was founded on the values of the Torah and its sequel. Then I was shocked to see pictures of the President lighting a Menorah on December 11! Hanukkah doesn't begin until December 25. Didn't anyone in the White House know this? Why didn't he light it on the proper day? What is he doing on December 25 that is so important he couldn't take time to light the Menorah on the proper day? Is he taking the day off on December 25 or something? I think we are owed an explanation.

Reprinted from a couple of years ago by Jon Swift.

Woman call to 911 over a Burger King burger is FAKE

First there was the McNuggets emergency. Now comes a Burger King emergency.

The St. Louis Riverfront Times reports that a woman in Laguna Niguel, Calif., called 911 complaining that the staff at the local Burger King would not make her a "Western barbecue burger." Except Burger King doesn't make that kind of burger. But funny nonetheless.

Presenting Christmas soft porn for the week

Welcome to Nepal where they don't give a shit

Thursday, December 10, 2009

If this becomes an Olympic event, I may qualify

EMBED-Chick Slams Face Against Hoop - Watch more free videos

Teachers tossed out of school for being naked together

Two female Romance language instructors were tossed out of their Brooklyn high school after being caught "undressed" in an empty classroom, sources told the Daily News Tuesday.

Students at James Madison High School in Midwood were watching a talent show in the auditorium while Alini Brito and Cindy Mauro were speaking the international language of love, sources said.

A janitor stumbled on French teacher Mauro, 33, and Brito, 29, a married Spanish instructor, and tattled to school officials on Nov. 20.

Both tenured teachers were removed from the classroom and sent to Education Department "rubber rooms" while they're investigated for misconduct, sources said.


You think you're place is small...

Zaarath and Christopher Prokop -- and their two cats -- live in the smallest apartment in New York, a 175-square-foot "microstudio" in Morningside Heights the couple bought three months ago for $150,000.

At 14.9 feet long and 10 feet wide, it's about as narrow as a subway car and as claustrophobic as a jail cell. But to the Prokops, it's a castle.

It has two small windows with views of upper Manhattan; hardwood floors; a tiny kitchen with a mini-fridge and hotplate; and a closet-sized bathroom with a shower, sink and toilet.

The couple wakes up every morning in their queen-size bed, which takes up one-third of the living space.

They then walk five feet toward the tiny kitchen, where they pull out their workout clothes, which are folded neatly in two cabinets above the sink. A third cabinet holds several containers of espresso for their only kitchen appliance, a cappuccino maker.

They turn off their hotplate, and use the space on the counter as a feeding area for their cats, Esmeralda and Beauregard.

"We don't cook," Zaarath said, adding that their fridge never has any food in it. "So when you don't cook, you don't need plates or pots or pans. So we use that space for our clothes."


Presenting Christmas soft porn for the week

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Buffalo Bills are a tough sell in Toronto

Let's face it Toronto sports fans are total idiots when it comes to the Maple Leafs. The Leafs could ice a team of blind, crippled penguins and they would still sell out. But that stupidity does not spill over to other sports. The Jays never win and could not even draw 20,000 by the end of the season. The Argos are talking about moving out of the Rogers Centre to a smaller facility. The Raptors are also playing to smaller crowds.

So when Ted Rogers made a deal with the Buffalo Bills to host 8 Bill games over 5 seasons, he thought NFL fans would be falling all over each other to scoop up tickets. Rogers Communications paid $78-million (U.S.) for the eight games. It was this type of arrogance that the Rogers people determined that there would be a lottery to decide who would earn the privilege of buying tickets. Well when there no interest in their lottery, that idea quickly disappeared.

Next the Rogers people decided that they would only sell tickets for the full package of 8 games (5 regular season and 3 exhibition games). Except there weren't very many fans interested in putting up that much money up front for 5 years of games. Well so they backed off and let people buy single game tickets.

Now there was the price of the tickets. For the privilege of watching an NFL game at the Rogers Centre, you would have to pay $600 for the best seats - even the exhibition games. Yeah it was cheaper to drive down to Buffalo if you really wanted to see the Bills. Hell it was cheaper to fly down to Miami if you wanted to see a Biills-Dolphin game. As the date of the first game approached, they found that not very many $600 seats were sold. So they decided to discount them to fill the seats and then the began comping them to get some butts in the seats.

Prior to last weeks game, the Bills in Toronto website was offering tickets to the game, even at the bottom price of $99 each. And on the ticket reselling websites, there have consistently been seats consistently available at below cost.

The arrogance is gone. But there was also some serious marketing errors made. It was assumed that Toronto NFL fans are Bills fans. That's not the case. Maybe 15 years ago when the Bills were in the Super Bowl they had strong fan support here but not any more. Support is pretty much split among the 32 NFL teams. There are likely more Cowboys fans or Patriots fans in Toronto than Bills fans. You can't price tickets at 5 times the price in Buffalo. Over 10,000 Canadians head over to Buffalo to watch the Bills when ever they play at home. Why would they bother with one over-priced game at the Rogers Centre?

Finally, a big part of the NFL experience is pregame tailgate parties and the energy of a crowd on the edge of its seat. Organizers have tried to recreate that atmosphere through outdoor parties where fans paid for beer in fenced-off areas. It's not the same.

Flowchart to determine if he's cheating

Stolen from here.

Presenting Christmas soft porn for the week

Who will win the Roy Halladay sweepstake?

It's assumed that the competition for Halladay will come down to the Yankees and Red Sox. The Yankees have indicated strong interest while the Sox have not. But will the Sox actually sit on the sidelines and let the Yankees pull off a deal that upgrades their pitch that much more?

There are about 5 teams that might be in the running for Halladay. They all have prospects that interest the Jays but the question is whether they want to give up that much for only a one year guarantee. Below are the players being rumoured to be part of the neogotiations. Which deal do you like the best?

New York Yankees - Jesus Montero, Joba Chamberlain
Boston Red Sox - Clay Buchholtz, Casey Kelly
California Angels - Erick Aybar, Joe Saunders
Philadelphia Phillies - Kyle Drabek, Michael Taylor
Tampa Bay Rays - Wade Davis, B.J. Upton

Hey, John Malkovich is 56!

Mug Shot of the Week

Florida woman beat her boyfriend with a raw steak.

Hump Day Hottie

Leighton Meester

Monday, December 07, 2009

Priciest goal scorers in the NHL





Chris Drury




Scott Gomez




Jason Spezza




Simon Gagne




Martin Havlat




Rod Brind’Amour




Vincent Lecavalier




Nik Antropov




Daniel Sedin




Andrei Kostitsyn




Eric Staal




Top 10 General Managers in the NHL

Greg Wyshynski of Yahoo Sports has listed his picks for the top 10 GMs in the NHL. Actually, the list is a bit of the challenge because managing in the league has changed considerably post-lockout. Some decent GMs have struggled since the lockout.

10. Darcy Regier

Fiscally handcuffed at times, Regier's seen some very good players leave for other places upon free agency, and is infamous for failing to make significant moves at the deadline to bolster his team's chances.

9. Jay Feaster

Feaster was the GM of the Lightning from 2002-Koules/Barrie, and helped build the team's only Stanley Cup champion. The Bolts won two division titles and made the playoffs in four straight seasons. He is a lawyer rather than an ex-jock who wisely hired Bill Barber to be his hockey personnel man.

8. George McPhee

The decade timeline for the Capitals: Division titles, Jagr, payroll explosion, extreme purge of talent to cut payroll, 59-point season under Bruce Cassidy, Ovechkin, lockout, Backstrom, Boudreau, division titles. Bottoming out helped rebuild the team, but McPhee made some solid moves to expedite the process and capture the imagination of a fan base again.

7. Pierre Lacroix

Nothing was going to top the construction of the 1990s Avalanche teams built on the foundation of the Patrick Roy trade. But just like back then, Lacroix again augmented the talent in his lineup by trading for established stars in early part of the decade: Making the Ray Bourque trade in 2000 and dealing for Rob Blake before the 2001 playoffs.

6. Ray Shero

Detractors will claim Shero had an advantage over others because the Penguins went in the tank early in the decade, and they have a valid point: He took over a team in 2006 that had the advantage of drafting Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin and Marc-Andre Fleury. But to win a cup he had to make some astute moves at the trading deadline and during the summer free agent season.

5. Doug Wilson

The San Jose Sharks have made the playoffs in each of Wilson's five seasons at the helm, winning three division titles and making the conference finals once. He's made some bold decisions beyond the Thornton trade.

4. Jim Rutherford

There are different sides to Rutherford. There's the safe side that drafts Eric Staal and brings in an old friend like Paul Maurice when he needs to fire a coach. Then there's a gambler; the guy who aggressively believed that his 2006 team would win the first post-lockout Cup, to the point where he added Doug Weight and Mark Recchi at a time when other teams were shedding salaries.

3. Brian Burke

Burke is unafraid to make big, high-risk moves if he thinks it will improve his team. In Vancouver, he managed to cut payroll, make the Canucks better and fill the building. Burke can be confrontational and brash, but he's also terrific at what he does. Sure there were some questionable draft choices in his tenure with both the Canucks and the Ducks but he also has a Stanley Cup.

2. Lou Lamoriello

One of the most respected and successful executives in NHL history, Lamoriello did some remarkable things. Please examine the rosters for the 2000 Stanley Cup champion Devils and the 2003 Cup champion team. Separated by only a few seasons, there are significantly different pieces that fit for the titles, beginning with the coaching staff.

1. Ken Holland

The winner of four Stanley Cups with the Wings overall and two in the last decade, Holland tops the list as the leader of the most impressive front office in the NHL for the last 10 years. Winning the Cup with this roster in the bloated payroll days of 2002 and with this roster in the spend-thrift days of 2008 is nothing short of remarkable.

UPDATE: The many women of Tiger Woods

Some new faces and more popping once they have sold their pictures and stories to the tabloids. It's great to be a billionaire.

Wife - Elin Nordegren (on her way out the door)

#1 - Rachel Uchitel (party planner)

#2 - Jaimee Grubbs (cocktail waitress)

#3 - Kalika Moquin (nightclub manager)

#4 - Jaime Jungers (cocktail waitress)

#5 - Cori Rist (Hooters waitress)

#6 - Mindy Lawton (waitress)

#7 - Holly Sampson (porn star)

#8 - ????

Orangutan has Facebook page

The Vienna zoo has hooked up an orangutan on Facebook. Orangutan Nonja's photos, taken are with a camera that dispenses raisins as she snaps. The Vienna Tiergarten set up the project to help keep Nonja and her three hairy ape friends entertained in their enclosure.

Presenting Christmas soft porn for the week

Sunday, December 06, 2009

Exactly what kind of tips is Tiger passing on to the President?

Elf' jailed over dynamite threat

Police in Marrow, Georgia arrested 45-year-old William C. Caldwell III for allegedly walking up to a department store Santa and informing the pseudo Kris Kringle that he was carrying dynamite. Caldwell informed Santa after he waited in line to get a photo with him like everybody else. Didn’t the fact that a 45-year-old man wearing an elf suit waiting in line to see Santa tip them off before the fact? The mall was evacuated, but no explosives were found. Caldwell faces several charges for the alleged hoax, including making terrorist threats.


So now there are supposedly 6 women popping up for Tiger's past

I just wonder when the head count will stop (excuse the pun). No doubt now that Tiger is a high end serial adulterer. He also seems to have a penchant for waitresses and hostesses. When does he have time for golf? Anyway for those keeping score here they are:

Wife - Elin Nordegren

#1 - Rachel Uchitel (party planner)

#2 - Jaimee Grubbs (cocktail waitress)

#3 - Kalika Moquin (nightclub manager)

#4 - Jaime Jungers (cocktail waitress)

#5 - Cori Rist (club goer)

#6 - Mindy Lawton (waitress)

Statue of the Week

Anyone who can figure out the relationship of Lenin, Mickey Mouse and Jesus, please let me know.

Presenting Christmas soft porn for the week

Losing Marco Scutaro is not so bad

The Red Sox just paid $11.5 million for 2 years of Marco Scutaro. A good deal? Not in your life- I'd rather take the 2 draft picks and most intelligent Red Sox fans agree. Scutaro hit .284 last season along with 12 homeruns and was a great leadoff hitter. But at 34, he never had that good of a season and will not likely repeat. The Red Sox have gone through numerous shortstops over the last few years and my prediction is that Scutaro will finish that contract in Boston.

Many silly Blue Jays fans are upset that the Jays replaced a perfectly good shortstop with Alex Gonzalez to save some mony. They believe that if Alex Anthopolous would be allowed to spend some of the Rogers money they would be a contender. These fans think that when McGowan, Marcum and Listch return this coming season, that with Halladay it will give the Jays the best pitching staff in baseball. They are so wrong. This is not 2008. You can rely on 3 reconstructed arms to make the playoffs. McGowan's rehab has not been going well and there is concern that his career may be in jeopardy. Marcum returned last season to pitch in the minors and was not exactly overpowering though let's hope he bounces back in 2010. Listch is not scheduled to return until July.

While we are talking holes, the Jays have no clean up hitter, they have no power at first or third, they have a $20 million player at centre with rapidly declining hitting and defensive skills, no right fielder, and no closer. A King's ransom isn't going to fill all these holes. This is not a team that is just a few free agents away from contending. Sadly Anthopolous really only has one realistic option and that is another rebuild. Toronto fans are sick of rebuilding teams, that's the status of all our professional sports teams - Leafs, Jays, Raptors, Argos. You can spead up the process by spending some money but the Jays just have too many missing pieces. That's why Anthopolous started with rebuilding the scouting staff. They need an influx of young talent in which to build around before adding the high price free agents. You can't spend your way out of this mess.