Saturday, January 23, 2010

Grumpy old men have road rage fight

Despite their combined age of 182, two feisty New Yorkers should be kept far, far apart after a recent skirmish in Sheepshead Bay.

Gersh Goffman, 83 years young, stands accused of beating 99-year old Steve Pulwers with "The Club" - the steering wheel anti-theft device - in a dispute earlier this week.

Pulwers, who is nearly blind, was left with a broken nose and cracked ribs after a beating spurred by his asking the younger Gofman to move his car.

Pulwers lives above a doctor's office in Borough Park, and when he saw that Gofman's car was blocking the driveway, Pulwers knocked on Gofman's window to get him out of the way. Because these are the small but noble tasks that fill your day when you're old—unless you're old like Gorfman and you go around beating up even older people!

"The doctor honked the horn, one, two, three, four times," Pulwers, a retired Manischewitz wine-factory employee. "I say, 'Gentleman, the doctor wants to go into the garage.' He did not answer. He then got out and takes a metal tool and hits me. He knocked me to the ground. I hit him in the leg with my coat like a little fly. He's much younger than me, much stronger. He could be my son. Maybe he's crazy or maybe not normal, because a normal person doesn't try to fight an old man who is close to 100 years old. I'm lucky I'm still alive. I thought he was going to kill me."

Oh, and Gorfman also threatened to cut his balls off (which probably isn't such a heavy threat when you get to be that age).

His wife, 74-year old Josefa Pulwers, told reporters that the attack itself wasn't even the part Pulwers remembers most vividly. Rather, he told her he was even more shocked when he thought he was being attacked by another Jew. Pulwers is a survivor of Stalin's corrective labor camps.

Gofman was arrested on charges of assault in the second degree and criminal possession of a weapon - The Club. Pulwers was sent to an area hospital where we he was fixed up and sent on his way. His 100th birthday is in late March.


Strange snowmen week

You might want to check out your pet sitter more closely

Police say a man killed a friend's dog in a coffee-table operation that used a needle, dental floss and Chloroform to keep the flinching pet still.

Sheriff's deputies said the dog, a hound/retriever mix named Zoe, was staying with William Ralph Jones, 55, because the owner could not keep the dog at her home. Last week, Jones dropped the dead dog off at her home, wrapped in a white sheet with a wound sewn together.

Investigators learned Zoe had escaped from Jones' yard through a hole in a fence and suffered a 3-4 inch cut on her chest.

Jones allegedly put glue on the wound. Two days later, Zoe got loose again and the wound re-opened. Deputies said Jones placed Zoe on a coffee table, asked his roommate for a muscle relaxant, and began to sew the wound with a needle and dental floss.

"Zoe yelped and kicked to try to free herself," the sheriff's office said. "To stop Zoe from moving, he soaked a cloth with Chloroform, a liquid formerly used as an anesthetic, and put it on her muzzle. A short time later, Zoe became still and stopped breathing."

Detectives charged Jones with two counts of felony animal abuse. They said if convicted, Jones could get 20 years in prison.

Another Mother of the Year candidate

As punishment for bad grades, a Georgia mother forced her 12-year-old son to kill his pet hamster with a hammer, police said.

The day after he was forced to kill his pet, the child told his teacher, according to County Sheriff Steve Whitlock.

The teacher reported the incident to authorities, who contacted police, Whitlock said. The pet's death allegedly took place at the family's Warm Springs home.

38-year-old Lynn Middlebrooks Geter was arrested and faces one charge each of animal cruelty, child cruelty and battery.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

So you think Canadians are apathetic?

Mug Shot of the Week

Tefillin force plane to be grounded

A misunderstanding about an Orthodox Jewish prayer ritual led a US Airways Express captain to divert his Kentucky-bound plane to Philadelphia on Thursday, authorities said.

A 17-year-old boy on Flight 3079 traveling from New York to Louisville was using tefillin, a set of small black boxes attached to leather straps and containing biblical passages, said Philadelphia police Lt. Frank Vanore.

When used in prayer, one box is strapped to the arm while the other box is placed on the head.

``It's something that the average person is not going to see very often, if ever,'' FBI spokesman J.J. Klaver said.

The teen explained the ritual after being questioned by crew members, but the captain decided to land in Philadelphia anyway, authorities said.

The flight left LaGuardia Airport in New York around 7:30 a.m.; it landed without incident in Philadelphia about 90 minutes later and was met by police and officials from the FBI and Transportation Security Administration.

Authorities said the plane was searched and passengers were questioned. The teen, who is from White Plains, N.Y., and was traveling with his 16-year-old sister, was very cooperative, Vanore said.

``They were more alarmed than we were,'' Vanore said.

Klaver said the teen and his sister were never in custody, and have been cleared to continue their travels.

How to put on tefillin


Sex with Ronald Mcdonald Week

What's next skaters with blackface?

A pair of Russian ice dancers have been causing a stir after unveiling a program that pays “tribute” to aborigines of Australia. But now Australian media cited aboriginal leaders as complaining that the routine contained inauthentic steps and gaudy costumes. It seems that neither Oksana Domnina or Maxim Shabalin have ever been to Australia. I assume that goes for the choreographer as well.


Happy 60th Billy Ocean!

Lets turn back the clock to segregated sports leagues

The All-American Basketball Alliance announced in a news release Sunday evening that it intends to start its inaugural season in June and hopes to be operating in 12 cities.

"Only players that are natural born United States citizens with both parents of Caucasian race are eligible to play in the league," the statement said.

Don "Moose" Lewis, the commissioner of the AABA, said the reasoning behind the league's roster restrictions is not racism.

"There's nothing hatred about what we're doing," he said. "I don't hate anyone of color. But people of white, American-born citizens are in the minority now. Here's a league for white players to play fundamental basketball, which they like."

Lewis said he wants to emphasize fundamental basketball instead of "street-ball" played by "people of color." He pointed out recent incidents in the NBA, including Gilbert Arenas' indefinite suspension after bringing guns into the Washington Wizards locker room, as examples of fans' dissatisfaction with the way current professional sports are run.

"Would you want to go to the game and worry about a player flipping you off or attacking you in the stands or grabbing their crotch?" he said. "That's the culture today, and in a free country we should have the right to move ourselves in a better direction."

The Atlanta-based league, which will operate as a single-entity owning all of its teams, is looking for local contacts to pay $10,000 to become a "licensee" in one of 12 cities throughout the Southeast. Lewis said he has already received threats from people opposed to the roster restrictions and several cities have told him to stay out of town.

Well I can't wait to see the cheerleaders on court wearing white hoods. This idea is so disturbing that it's actually laughable. My guess is that if Moose can collect $10,000 from a dozen eager licensees, he will disappear faster than you can say Jackie Robinson, never to be seen again.


Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Eagle fans - check out your trophy case

Tiger Woods in Sex Rehab in Mississippi

Tiger Woods is receiving treatment at a rehabilitation facility in Mississippi for sex addiction. Do they also have a treatment program for lying narcissists?

Somewhere on this planet there are cops wearing pink snowsuits

They need to get older ball boys or ones who aren't incontinent

Americans Donald Young and Christophe Rochus were playing in the first round of the Australian Open Tuesday when their match was interrupted.

Young explained: "A ballboy started peeing on himself. So that was really unfortunate.''

You mean that metaphorically, right?

"I looked back and it was dripping on the court,'' Young said. "He ran off. And when he ran off ..."

It left a trail on the court. Well, you can't just keep playing a major tennis tournament with urine on the court. For one thing, it looks bad. But for another, the players could slip in it and get hurt.

"They came out with the blower,'' Young said, "and it wasn't working, so ...''

The delay lasted half an hour.


Sex with Ronald Mcdonald Week

Melanie Griffith's mom, Tippi Hendren is 80

Monday, January 18, 2010

Hockey has another headhunter

Not yet in the NHL but Patrice Cormier has already developed a reputation has a headhunter. During the Junior Worlds hit just about took the heads off a Swede and a Finn. Now back in the Quebec League, he launches an elbow to the face of Mikael Tam. The blow cause Tam to go into convulsions so you make want to skip the video below. He's lucky he wasn't killed. His trainer reports he had stopped breathing. Cormier has been hit with an indefinite suspension pending a disciplinary review. The Quebec Remparts have filed a criminal complaint against Cormier and players and coaches were interviewed after the game as part of the process. Cormier was captain of Canada's world Junior team and a 2nd round draft pick of the Devils.

Meanwhile the NHL continues to debate the issue not knowing what to do. Will it take another death before some common sense descends on those that run the league.

Chris Elliot as Jay Leno on David Letterman

This bit is old but still funny.

Sarah Siverman had a dream too

One Hit Wonder

Afroman - Because I Got High (2001)

Sex with Ronald Mcdonald Week

What will MPs do while Parliament is progrogued?

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Carrie Prejean is in the news again

Is it just me or does Carrie Prejean appear to be the biggest hypocrite in America? She is certainly able to create stir without doing anything. Her latest bout of news coverage is not cause by any of her willful action, but by a nip slip. Well you get a good look at a $5200 boob job.

She is controversial figure to the core and she has been creating one controversy after another. Her anti-gay stance is only well know as is her sex tapes, breast augmentation, Larry King interview, and nude photos. An interesting "Christian" to say the least.

Another Mother of the Year candidate

A 36-year-old Wisconsin woman who stripped in front of her children in a drunken attempt to avoid a shoplifting arrest is going to jail. As part of a plea agreement, Julia E. Laack of Sheboygan pleaded no contest to three charges including retail theft. The Sheboygan Press says she was sentenced Thursday to six months in jail.

Prosecutors say Laack stole beef jerky and a lighter from a convenience store in October. They say when police went to her home she began screaming at three children and told a teenager the incident was his fault.

Laack then stripped to her underwear and told officers they couldn't arrest her because she would be naked.


Controversial shootout goal

It's hard to believe you could get a controversy over a shootout goal, the NHL's biggest mistake, but here it is.

Sex with Ronald Mcdonald Week

Did Miley Cyrus sing like this on purpose?

Statue of the Week