Saturday, May 15, 2010

Sign of the day

Is anyone following the Blue Jays

For a rebuilding team the Toronto Blue Jays are putting together a very positive start to the season. Now at this point into last season the Blue Jays had the best record and we know how that ended. Right now they are outside a playoff spot as usual but 6 games above .500. The pitching has been incredibly good for team whose starting pitchers only had 167 starts and 65 wins going into the season. Meanwhile the former ace, Roy Halladay has 295 starts and 154 wins under his belt.

The power at the plate has been incredible. The Blue Jays have 59 home runs right now which is most in the majors and 11 more than the next best team, the Red Sox. Six starters are heading towards career years and the team is projected to hit 251 home runs this year. That's with Aaron Hill and Adam Lind having slow starts. The major league season record is 264 by the Seattle Mariners in 1997.

But then who would even notice. No one comes out to the park.

HR -Now HR- Proj Best
F. Lewis 2 11 9
A. Hill 3 16 36
A. Lind 6 26 35
V. Wells 10 42 33
L. Overbay 3 13 22
A. Gonzalez 10 42 23
J. Bautista 9 38 16
J. Buck 8 34 18
T. Snider 6 28 9
Team Total 59 251

Girls with bananas week

One Hit Wonder

Question Mark and the Mysterians - 96 Tears (1966)

Mug Shot of the Week

Friday, May 14, 2010

Did you ever think you would see Lady Gaga and Bruce Springsteen on the same stage?

...also Deborah Harry, Sting, Elton John and Shirley Bassey

Sign of the day

Anti-Cable and Pat TV ad from the 1970s

We know how that turned out...

David Byrne is 58 today

David Byrne with Talking Heads in 1980

In 2010 in concert

New York has 5th bomb scare in 2 weeks

An Oldsmobile with two gas cans in its back seat triggered a bomb scare near Union Square Thursday night - but it was just the latest false alarm in a city on edge, police said.

The NYPD sealed off Union Square around 10:15 p.m. as the bomb squad investigated the sketchy 1991 Cutlass Ciera parked outside the Con Edison headquarters on Irving Pl., near E. 14th St.

The drama lasted for more than two hours as the bomb squad X-rayed the creepy clunker and deployed a technician in a protective suit to take a closer look.

The bomb squad also set off a series of "flash charges," which blasted out the Oldsmobile's windows.

The unidentified man who had driven the Oldsmobile to the show did not have a malicious intent, police said. He had the gas cans inside his car because he works as a landscaper.

The bomb scare was the fifth in the city since Faisal Shahzad's failed Times Square car bomb two weeks ago.


Escort beats man with high heeled shoe

26-year-old Jennifer Thomas is facing an assault and disorderly conduct charge after allegedly using her footwear to beat a valet outside the Hotel Valley Ho in Scottsdale.

Thomas, who works as an escort, was enjoying drinks in the Hotel Valley Ho's bar. When she asked hotel staff to call her a car, and a taxi cab pulled up, she allegedly became irate.

"I'm not fucking getting into that," Thomas reportedly wailed. "Who do you think I am?"

A town car later arrived, but the woman was apparently still enraged.

"Before getting in, she came back to the valet, removed one of her shoes and swung at his head."

Police eventually caught up to Thomas at her Phoenix apartment and she was arrested.


Girls with bananas week

This why you don't intervene in an armed robbery

A heroic act potentially saves the life of a store clerk but the hero is shot in exchange for his bravery and it's all caught on camera. A gunman was demanding money from a clerk at a gas station in Caroline County, Virginia, and even fired twice at the clerk's feet.

But then, a customer from the back of the store, snuck up behind the suspect and smashed a beer bottle over his head. The suspect ran for it, but fired multiple times hitting the hero, who is in his 60s, four times causing injuries to his legs, shoulder and head.

People in the store say he's a real hero and saved their lives. "He is a hero. He didn't have to do that. He could have walked right out of the store," the clerk said. "He's a hero and I just want to hug and kiss him."

The man who was shot is believed to have been released from the hospital and is recovering at home.

This is why you don't play a hero. No offense but I'd rather the store clerk get shot than me. I'd be helping the robber take his stash out the store, holding the door for him, wiping off his finger prints. Yup, I'm no hero but I'm also not full of bullet holes.

What I'm thinking when someone explains Lost to me


Thursday, May 13, 2010

Woman charged with forcing 5-year-old son to smoke cigarette while teaching him not to smoke

A Johnson City woman has been charged with child abuse and other charges after Carter County deputies received complaints that she had forced her 5-year-old child to smoke a cigarette. Jordon Paige Hensley, 24, was charged with child abuse and neglect, disorderly conduct and possession of Schedule VI drug.

Deputy Cory Tidwell said he spotted the car the woman was reported to be driving. He stopped her car and asked her if she had given her son a cigarette. Tidwell said she admitted she had given the boy a cigarette and said she did it because “she was teaching him not to smoke.”

While he was talking with Hensley, a witness to the incident pulled into the parking lot and told Tidwell he had seen Hensley stick the cigarette in the boy’s mouth and also saw the child exhale smoke and begin coughing. He said he also saw the child running around and his mother screaming at him to keep running. He said that when the child fell to the ground screaming that he could not run anymore, Hensley jerked him up by his arm and told him he had better keep running.

As he continued to talk to Hensley, Tidwell said, he noticed she appeared to be trying to hide something. He told her to show him her hands and she told him “no.” When he again asked, she again refused. Tidwell then removed her from the car and placed her in restraints. He then checked where she was sitting and found a small bag of marijuana, according to the report.

So is she going to give the kid heroin to teach the kid not to do heroin? Or how does she teach the kid not to have unprotected sex? The possibilities are unlimited.

Another reason to hate the Habs...

Their fans are total idiots. They have no class.

I thinking that as the only surviving Canadian team perhaps it was my patriotic duty to support the Montreal Canadiens. But then they aren't Team Canada. It would like Red Sox fans supporting the Yankees. Like Phillies fans supporting the Mets. Like Pistons fans supporting the Bulls. Like Ticats fans supporting the Argos. It ain't going to happen.

Girls with bananas week

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Sign of the day

Ten incentives to offer Chris Bosh to stay in Toronto

Bryan Colangelo has his work cut out for him this off season. The franchise has been unable to keep previous stars (Stoudamire, McGrady, Carter) in a Raptor uniform and are at risk at losing the latest franchise player. But have they tried hard enough? I've come up with a list of solid incentives guaranteed to keep Bosh in a Raptor uniform for years to come.

1. Trade Hedo Turkoglu for Kobe Bryant

2. Free lap dances at the Zanzibar Tavern for life (and free antiseptic hand cleaner)

3. Colangelo makes Chris' mom Frieda a VP

4. Raptors make support payments to his ex, Allison

5. His own cable station on Rogers

6. Move the Raptors to a city of his choice

7. Raptors will sign Tie Domi to protect his back

8. We can arrange for your tweets to exceed 144 characters

9. Unlimited tattoos

10. Playoff tickets for the Maple Leafs Blue Jays Argos 2011 Memorial Cup

Girls with bananas week

Steve Winwood is 62 today

Here is Steve in 1967 on keyboards with the Spencer Davis Group.

On tour last year with Eric Clapton

Mug Shot of the Week

Best of Craigslist

I stomped on your fire, you choked on a biscuit

Date: 2010-02-21, 9:09AM CST

You: passed out on the grass after choking on a biscuit and slamming your car into a guardrail at Franklin and Harding
Me: driver of silver bug with 2 women in the car who stopped and put your car fire out.

It's been a bad month, so if you would get me a new fire extinguisher, I would appreciate it. Also don't eat while driving in the future, it's dangerous, as you discovered.

  • Location: Nashville, TN
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Dianna Agron

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

This is why you wish you were still in school

Sign of the day

Psychic rips off man for $150,000 including cash, Rolexes and a Hummer

Drakar Druella was struggling with wrenching emotional problems last October when he walked into the Hawthorne Psychic Shop in Southeast Portland for a palm reading and met Cathy Stevens. Over the next seven weeks he would give the psychic $150,000 in cash and gifts so she could rid him of his "negative energy" and heal him.

Druella, who was struggling with his gender identity after undergoing a sex change, said Stevens told him she sensed his "twin-flame energy," and used Catholic symbolism that resonated with Druella, who was raised Catholic. She connected with him in a way that other spiritual teachers had not.

Druella first paid Stevens $265 for advice on Oct. 8. She told him he had "negative energy" and a demon attached to him, and she could help him get rid of it. But she said she'd need $22,000 to buy a "tabernacle" and she'd conduct an exorcism.

He said Stevens then told him she needed a vehicle to take her to a remote mountainous area to help transport his negative energy away. On Oct. 11, theybought an H-3T Hummer in his name for $45,940. He says he gave Stevens the Hummer so she could continue to do spiritual work on his behalf.

Druella bought four Rolex watches, totaling $37,840. Stevens told him she needed a special component in the watches, also to use toward his healing.

Druella says the woman was so convincing, he didn't realize he was being scammed until he heard Stevens launch into the same story with another client.

Hey buddy I have two bridges you could have for the right price, a $10,000 dream catcher for sale and for an extra $100,000 I will throw in the Phoenix Coyotes. Like they say a sucker is born every day.

Russian cop blows his nose - with his gun

An armed 23 year old policeman in Moscow fell victim of his own carelessness. He decided to scratch an itchy spot on his nose with a gun and accidentally killed himself.

The tragedy happened in the court security facility. At 6pm the officer’s supervisor tried to connect with him over the phone to check on him. The sergeant did not answer his phone and the supervisor had to go see him with other officers.

The police found a locked door they had to break and the body of their colleague behind the door. The policeman’s body with a wound in the head was found under the desk. The investigation ruled out a murder. There was no note that would indicate suicide.

The victim had been serving in police since 2007. He was single and was not registered with the staff psychologist. He was reported to be in good spirits on the day of the accident. The sergeant allegedly scratched his nose with his gun and accidentally pulled the trigger.

Girls with bananas week

Helena Guergis interview establishes her Bimbo credentials

I have to admit that there were moments in the Peter Mansbridge interview with Helena Guergis that had me laughing so hard my sides hurt. I doubt the 20 minutes did anything to help her tattered career although I'm sure there are people who believe she is not guilty of any wrong doing.

In fact I'm not convinced she did anything more than become a political liability and was thrown under the bus. For years the media ignored this incompetent bimbo and then suddenly exaggerated her blunders because it made for a good story.

The whole interview was a little too scripted, too coached and too creepy. I found that little girl soft voice she used as fake as those tears near the end of the interview.

The contradictions were laughable:
  • She was adamant that she has never done cocaine of any other drug. Oh except she tried smoking once at 14 and didn't like it. So never mind the inuendos that she and Rahim partied with coke and strippers - it never happened. And she had no idea how the cocaine got into his pocket that night he was stopped by police.
  • She was absolutely certain Rahim never used her office or resources to exploit his government connections. Well, except for storage. And although she knew for certain he wasn't doing anything wrong, she claimed to have no clue about what his job was.
  • She repeatedly stated that both she and Rahim had done nothing wrong but when asked if she would dump her husband to save her political career, she suggested that when people in your family make mistakes you don't turn your back on them.
She seems shocked by the Prime Minister's reaction. She must be the last person in Canada to realize Steven Harper is a mean-spirited political opportunist that will what ever is necessary to gain a majority. Helena, your negative media attention has put your Simcoe-Grey riding at risk during the next election. The Prime Minister just wants a safer candidate running. He doesn't really care about you.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Cellphones aren't the only hazard behind the wheel

Toronto police say a policy of “absolutely no tolerance” has resulted in more than 4,000 tickets for drivers using cellphones and other handheld devices in just three months.

On Feb. 1, police began issuing $155 tickets to drivers caught talking on phones, text messaging or using devices such as laptop computers, video players and MP3 players.

By April 30, they had fined 4,397 motorists in the city, with 296 of those charges relating to use of devices other than phones.


Sign of the day

Donovan Leitch is 64 today

Singing Hurdy Gurdy in 1967

Donovan today

Substitute teacher shows up for class with beer in a water bottle

Police tell CBS 6 that 50-year old Sabrina Pado was substitute-teaching for third grade students and when they arrived they found beer inside her water bottle. Third grade students in the classroom say Pado was acting weird, smelled of alcohol, and kept drinking alcohol out of a blue bottle.

Pado has been charged with being drunk in public and having alcohol on school property, both misdemeanors.

I'd be drinking too if I had to deal with snots all day.


Lena Horne 1917 - 2010

Did she say Tiger Woods had a bulging dick?

People who know the words to YMCA

stolen from here

Girls with bananas week

Sunday, May 09, 2010

One Hit Wonder

Bedouin Soundclash - When The Night Feels My Song (2007)

Sign of the day

Sex can be hazardous to your health

A survey of 1,000 adults in Britain reveal that five per cent of the adult population have had to take time off work due to sex-related injuries. The big injuries are pulled muscles and carpet burns but the list of danger spots show some creativity (work closets and kitchen tables are may favourite). Oh yes and things get busted beside bed frames.


Mike Wallace turns 92 today

With the Shah of Iran in 1976


Happy Mothers Day

Girls with bananas week

Tiger Woods heckler gets tasered

You mess with Tiger Woods and you're going to get tasered! A drunken golf fan got the shock treatment from cops yesterday during the 11th hole of The Players Championship after he wouldn't stop heckling Woods from the crowd.

Travis Parmelee, 36, of Jacksonville, Fla., was charged with disorderly intoxication and resisting arrest. He was told by security guards at the tourney in Ponte Vedra Beach, Fla. to cut out the yelling a few times. When he just wouldn't zip his lips, guards called the sheriff who then dispatched deputies to subdue him.

This guy and the Phillies fan who got tasered the other day could start a Sports Fans Survivor Group.