Just what the world needs - a Chanel alcohol monitoring bracelet

Troubled actress and aspiring style guru Lindsay Lohan, seen here on May 24, wants Chanel to help customize an unwanted fashion accessory -- her alcohol monitoring bracelet.

Lohan was told to wear a Secure Continuous Remote Alcohol Monitor (SCRAM) device after a judge dismissed her lawyer's requests to undergo random testing instead.

Lohan's lawyer had defended saying that the bracelet may pose problems for her upcoming acting and modelling contracts.

So Lohan now wants Chanel to work on her bracelet and make it look glamorous, reports The New York Post.

Sign of the day

Halladay is finally perfect but not in a Jay uniform

This what the linescore for a perfect game looks like. A lot of zeros/

	IP	H	R	ER	BB	SO
Roy Halladay	8	0	0	0	0	11

Just another step towards induction to the Hall of Fame. All that he's missing is that World Series ring which hopefully will come this fall.

One Hit Wonder

Oliver- Good Morning Starshine (1969)

The awkward moment

Mindreader let off jury duty

A TV mindreading star was excused jury duty after fears he might wreck the trial. Drew McAdam's act includes reading thoughts, duplicating drawings done in secret and bending cutlery Uri Geller-style.

He turned up at court after being called to sit on a case. But the 54-yearold was sent home after officials recognised him as the human lie detector on Five's Trisha chatshow.



He revealed: "The clerk had seen me doing body language and mindreading. "Then he told me he was surprised that they had even let somebody like me on a jury in the first place."

Army-trained Drew, from West Calder, West Lothian, honed his skills during a stint as an intelligence officer. He was called for jury duty last week at Livingston Sheriff Court.

Sign of the day

Insurance companies know how to create PR disasters

According to an article in the Toronto Star, an Aurora family that lost their pet dog after being struck by a car last March have now been billed $1,732 by the insurer of the driver. The family allowed the pet to wander unleashed and on this particular occasion he ran in front of a car.

The insurer, State Farm is now seeking reimbursement for the cost of repairing the car and a rental vehicle for their policyholder while the car was being repaired. State Farm feels that the rules of negligence apply in this case and believe the owners were negligent in the sense that they could have made sure their dog wasn’t free on the roadway.

The family could probably put in a claim under their home insurance but are refusing to pay the bill. Instead they went to the newspaper to make their case.

State Farm likely is correct and could pursue their claim through the courts. A Star poll has readers evenly split with 49% agreeing with the insurer. But this is just another example of how a large insurer buys a ton of bad PR for a paltry $1,732. The insurance industry spends millions to promote their industry by supporting community groups and charities. Then they go shoot themselves in the foot.

No doubt the bad publicity and the fact that they may have to go to court to get the money will likely cause them to drop the claim. But the damage to their reputation and that of their industry has already been done.

Solid Gold!

I'm pretty sure this reporter doesn't like being touched. But had to play the video 3 or 4 times to confirm.



stolen from here

Bank robbers accidently blow up bank

Robbers in Germany appear to have misjudged the amount of explosives needed to rob a rural bank in a village called Malliss after the entire building was reduced to rubble, police said.

No one was hurt in the explosion overnight in the village near Schwerin in northern Germany but flying debris damaged nearby buildings and parked cars and 55 firemen were needed to make the area safe.

The discovery of a burning vehicle nearby raised suspicions that the robbers had intended to make off with the bank's cash dispenser but when the van caught fire too they left empty-handed.

"Preliminary investigations indicate that no cash was taken," police said in a statement. The building also contained other shops and the road next to the site had to be closed for several hours following the attempted robbery on Monday night.

These bank robbers must have thought they were trying to get into Fort Knox. They were supposed to blow off the doors of the bank but likely used enough explosives to bring down the World Trade Centre.

This week is for girls who like big guns

Sign of the day

Stevie Nicks is 62 today

Stevie Nicks with Fleetwood Mac in 1976



At the Grammys this year

Kids will do the darnest things

Two year old smokes 40 cigarettes a day

And you thought you had a bad smoking habit.

Ardi Rizal isn't even out of diapers, but he already smokes around 40 cigarettes every day.

The 2-year-old Sumatran boy was given his first cigarette at 18 months by his 30-year-old father, Mohammed. Now, he throws tantrums if he's denied his two-pack-a-day habit, according to his family.

"He's totally addicted," said Ardi's 26-year-old mother, Diana. "If he doesn't get cigarettes, he gets angry and screams and batters his head against the wall. He tells me he feels dizzy and sick."

The overweight tot uses a toy truck to get around instead of being active with other children, according to the report.

The boy's disturbing habit hasn't escaped public notice in Sumatra. Concerned officials offered to buy the family a car if Ardi quits.

Mohammed Rizal seemed unconcerned.

"He looks pretty healthy to me. I don't see the problem," he said.

EMBED-Ardi Rizal - The real SMOKING BABY !! - Watch more free videos

Toddler gets drunk on gin and iced tea

Raymond Jackson is charged with first-degree criminal abuse, a felony punishable by five years to 10 years in prison. He has been held at the Kenton County jail in lieu of a $10,000 cash bond since his arrest on Saturday.

A preliminary hearing in the case is set for June 1 in Kenton District Court. A public defender was appointed for Jackson.

Jackson allowed, and encouraged, the 2-year-old to drink a cocktail of gin and iced tea, according to court records. The child’s blood-alcohol lever was 0.250, more than three times the minimum for a driver to be presumed impaired under Kentucky law.

Jackson was home in an apartment on Woodhill Court Saturday taking care of his 6-month-old son and stepdaughter when the girl drank the alcohol, according to court records. Investigators said Jackson was also drinking.

Authorities were alerted after Jackson and his wife, Amanda Jackson, showed up at St. Elizabeth Edgewood hospital on Saturday with the unresponsive girl. The stepdaughter was rushed to Children’s Hospital Medical Center in Cincinnati and treated for alcohol poisoning. Authorities did not release her condition on Monday.



Amanda Jackson was granted an emergency custody of the children on Monday, according to court records.

A restraining order has also been issued. Jackson is to have no contact with his wife or the children in the event he posts bail.

Amanda Jackson claimed in petitions to get the retraining order and custody of the children that the 2-year-old also had fractured ribs and bruising on the head.

Sugar Daddy alert!

I don't know who Jenna Bentley is but according to Google, she’s a Playboy model, and this is her boyfriend. What this tells me is that no matter how old, fat and ugly I am, a Playboy model will date me if I have trucks full of money to spend on her. Now that's capitalism.

The 2010 Cinderella team title goes to the Philadelphia Flyers

Was it my imagination or did Canada go gaga over the Montreal Canadiens? Well I'm not crying over the loss of Canada's last Stanley Cup contender. Leaf fans aren't supposed to cheer for their arch rivals. Sure I hated the Flyers in the 1970s. Who didn't? But this is 2010. Dave Schultz, Bob Kelly, Don Saleski and Andre Dupont are old men now. Fred Shero and Kate Smith are dead. But the Montreal Canadiens are still the enemy.

So when I hear that the Canadiens were the Cinderella team in this year's playoffs it makes my blood boil. The Flyers are the real Cinderella team. They finished with 88 points in the regular season, the same as the Canadiens. In fact it didn't even look like they were going to make the playoffs finishing the season at 3-7-1.The Flyers made the playoffs by winning the last game of the season in a shootout - partly because Ranger coach John Tortorella decided not to use Marian Gaborik as one of his shooters. They lost their starting and backup goalies to injuries and played most of the season with a career minor leaguer in net.

Although the Canadiens got a lot of credit for beating Washington, the #1 seeded team in the East and top offensive team. The Flyers beat New Jersey in 5 games. The Devils happened to have been the #2 seeded team and the top defensive team. Then the Flyers beat the Bruins who happened to have been #2 defensive team. But they did it the hard way after losing the first 3 games in the series. So when the two Cinderella teams faced each other, it was no contest. The Flyers won in 5 games with the minor league stopper, Michael Leighton earning 3 shutouts.

So in my books the 2010 Cinderella title goes to the Philadelphia Flyers.

P.S. Don't forget the Blackhawks have the NHL's most cursed player, Marian Hossa.

This week is for girls who like big guns

Teens should be able to express themselves

What's wrong with a kilt?
A Canadian teenager with Scottish roots said he is fighting school officials for the right to wear a kilt while walking in his late June graduation.

Hamish Jacobs, 19, of Lethbridge, Alberta, whose family moved to Canada from Scotland in 1965, said he found his uncle's blue-and-green tartan kilt, representing the Forbes clan, fits him perfectly and decided to wear the item as a tribute to his family history during his graduation from Raymond High School.

"I want to wear it out of respect for my ancestors, and because it's just what Scottish people wear to formal things," Jacobs said.



However, he said principal Mark Beazer denied his request to wear the kilt during the ceremony.

"I find it funny. The school teaches you to respect your heritage, be different, be yourself. And so I am going to be different, being myself. And they don't like that," he said.

Jacobs said Westwind School Division superintendent Doug Bennett sided with the principal and he is now considering appealing to the school board in early June.

Prom King Queen in a dress

After coming out of the closet this, his senior year at Flanagan High, Omar Bonilla decided to take it a step further: run for prom queen.

He almost won -- Bonilla was among the top three vote-getters -- but in the past few days, it all unraveled.

Fearful that other students would try to beat up a prom-goer in drag, the school administration asked him to wear a tuxedo to Friday night's dance. And after two meetings with the school principal to plead for the right to wear a dress, Bonilla was slapped with a two-day suspension, the timing of which meant he couldn't go to the prom at all.

It all started last month when the senior at the Pembroke Pines school decided he wanted to run for prom king, but with the intention of wearing a dress. School administrators ran the idea through the higher-ups and told Bonilla that prom queen might be more appropriate -- an option he liked even better.

In soliciting votes from students, Bonilla -- like all other candidates -- posted posters around campus. His read ``vote Omar for prom queen -- time for a change.''

Along the way, Bonilla made the concession that, if he won, the prom king wouldn't have to dance with him, as some kings might not be comfortable doing that.

Hump Day Hottie

Elisha Cuthbert

Special Ladies Edition - Ryan Phillipe

Son stabs mom over cheeseburger

Eighteen-year-old Aaron Dean is facing a felony assault charge for allegedly stabbing his own mother over a cheeseburger.

The incident took place at around 1 a.m. Friday at an apartment complex on West Bancroft in Toledo, police said.

Vergie Williams said her teen son was all tough with his big butcher knife before she pulled out a knife of her own and he took off out the front door.

"I'm like, I give you some money to get you some food," she said. "So he said, 'Well (explicative), if you ain't get no food for me, you can't eat none,' and go slapped the sandwich outta my hand, girl."

Williams said her son Aaron had spent all the money she gave him on marijuana, which he smoked. She said he then got the munchies.

She walked in with a cheeseburger.

"It wasn't even a cheeseburger," she said. "It was a doggone Rally Burger."

When she walked in with a Rally Burger, she said Aaron got jealous, pulled out a butcher knife and stabbed her in the arm.

In retaliation, she pulled out her own knife and cut him on the hand.

"I think he called me a (explicative) and ran into his room," she said. "I threw that at him and he came back out of his room with a big-(explicative) butcher knife. He just stood there and looked at me and just went 'UH!' That little bastard. But I stuck his butt back, too."

source

Sign of the day

My Ex-Wife's Wedding Dress

Kevin Cotter's wife of 12 years recently packed up her belongings and moved out of their home. After her car was loaded he noticed that a single item remained in her section of their closet, her wedding dress. When Kevin told her to take the dress, she told him to do whatever the fuck he wants with it. And so he did. Kevin started a blog that is dedicated to finding 101 uses for his ex-wife's wedding dress.

My favourite is the Scarecrow (above) which is use #5.

Kevin Cotter, the creator of Myexwifesweddingdress.com

Which Cyrus has better cleavage, Billy Ray or Miley?

Chicago's best chance at a Stanley Cup is this season

Some hockey fans are thinking that the Blackhawks would be Stanley Cup favourites in a season or two from now and that their status as Cup finalists came a little early. Well their best shot will likely be this season.

Like the Penguins over the past two season, Chicago is loaded with great young players. Many will get better over the next few years. Unfortunately, like Pittsburgh, the Blackhawks will not be able to keep this team together. Over the past season the Penguins had to let move out some pretty good secondary scoring including Petr Sykora, Miro Satan, Ryan Malone and Marian Hossa.

Chicago has 14 players under contract for next season for a total of $57.5 million. Unfortunately the salary cap will be $56.8 million in 2010-11. So Chicago must somehow drop almost a $1 million in salaries but sign 9 more players. That means some massive salary dumping. Players like Patrick Sharp, Brent Sopel, John Madden and others may have to be moved with very little coming the other way. They are further handcuffed by large contracts given to Marian Hossa and Brian Campbell.

So this looks like it is Chicago's year. Unless those nasty Flyers throw enough dirt in their young faces.

This week is for girls who like big guns

Best of Craigslist

Sign of the day

Fashion Disaster - French Open edition

Venus Williams at the French Open

Holy Jose (Bautista)!

The Blue Jays were supposed to disappear into the Great White North after trading ace Roy Halladay last winter.

But the Jays have yet to show any signs of post-Halladay blues. They roll into Anaheim for a three-game series beginning Monday with a 26-20 record. Sure, they have to play the Rays, Red Sox and Yankees 45 more times this season. But for now, the Jays have a winning record and one of the more dangerous offenses in the American League (first in the majors with 76 home runs, tops in the A.L. in slugging percentage and third in runs scored).

The Jays only took one game from Arizona in their 3-game series but scored 10 homers including 5 by Edwin Encarnacion and the 14th of the season by Jose Bautista who now is tied for the league lead. It's a little early but the major league record of 264 homers in a single season by the 1997 Mariners is certainly a possibility.

After 46 Games	Current	Projected	Best Year
J. Bautista	14	49	16
V. Wells	11	39	33
S. Gonzalez	10	35	23
J. Buck	8	33	18
A. Lind	7	24	35
E. Encarnancion	7	61	26
T. Snider	6	27	9
A. Hill	5	23	36
L. Overbay	4	14	22
F. Lewis	3	13	9
TEAM TOTAL	76	267

Some classy people live in Philly

Philadelphia police are looking for clues after someone took a wheelchair belonging to an 8-year-old boy with cerebral palsy.

Police say the $4,000 wheelchair was taken from in front of the boy's southwest Philadelphia home shortly before 8:30 a.m. Friday.

The wheelchair is red with the name "Jahzir" stitched on it, and has an oxygen tank attached to it.

A visiting nurse says she was getting ready to take Jahzir Walker to school and had put the chair out in front of the home. When she came back to put him in, it was gone.

source

Happy 69th birthday Bob Dylan

Dylan at the Newport Folk Festival in 1964



Dylan in 1976



Here he is today

It's my prom and I'll swear if I want to

Meet Jessica Halter who is no Leslie Gore. The Ohio student, 18, was arrested at her high school prom after she drunkenly assaulted a policeman, tried to kick a paramedic, and spewed a "bloody ball of spit" at one cop. According to a Lorain Police Department report, an officer working the North Ridgeville High School prom was approached by school administrators who had received several complaints about the "highly intoxicated" Halter. When told of these complaints, Halter replied, "This is my fucking prom, this is bullshit." Halter, her speech slurred, denied drinking alcohol and cursed out the school's principal and assistant principal. "You are fucking bitches, this is my prom, I'm not drunk," said Halter.

After refusing to take a Breathalyzer test, Halter attempted to swing a chair at cops, and then began "smacking her forehead into the chair handle causing her nose to bleed." While being handcuffed, Halter "began kicking, screaming, spitting and thrashing about." As she was walked out of DeLuca's catering hall, Halter--screaming obscenities--"let her legs go limp," so officers had to carry the teen to a patrol car. That is when Halter "cleared her throat and spit a bloody ball of spit" at Officer Kyle Gelenius, whose name tag was ripped from his uniform by Halter during the confrontation. Seated in the back of the cruiser, Halter "continued to spit blood on the windows, the divider, and the roof," and kicked the vehicle's window. For her prom night meltdown, Halter was booked into the Lorain County jail and charged with assaulting a cop, resisting arrest, disorderly conduct, and underage drinking.

source

This week is for girls who like big guns

Hapy Victoia's Day

For those of us in the Great White North we celebrate Victoria Day today. It also marks the first long weekend of the summer (which in Canada last about 6 weeks). The weekend is typically cold and wet but that doesn't stop Canadians from planting their backyard gardens or opening up their summer cottages. Oh yes a we light fireworks too. I mean how else would you know it was a holiday?

Victoria Day is celebrated the last Monday before May 24 or on May 24 if falls on a Monday. The important thing is to get a long weekend out it. The holiday is colloquially known as May Two-Four in most parts of Canada; a double entrendre that refers both to the date on which the holiday usually falls (24 May) and the Canadian slang for a case of 24 beers (a "two-four"), a drink popular during the long weekend.

Now you may ask why Canadians celebrate Victoria Day. It's to celebrate Queen Victoria's birthday. Now she hasn't been Queen for over 100 years but what politician is going to yank a holiday over a small technicality like that. In fact I'd been happy to celebrate more of the monarchs' birthdays if it meant a day off work. You know there were 8 King Edwards and 6 Georges.

Pos

Sign of the day

The Mayor is hot for Scott Baio Day