Friday, August 20, 2010

Heading up North till Sunday

Hope there isn't too much rain.

Flowchart to determine if your husband is cheating

It's party time for Lindsay!

Lindsay Lohan's previous diagnosis is incorrect, her doctors at UCLA apparently concluded. The troubled actress reportedly doesn't suffer from drug or psychiatric problems, and is now up for a shorter rehab stay.

I guarantee thata within 3 weeks of being sprung loose (nothing like money) she'll be snorting coke off of Samantha Ronson's belly button and chugging Hpnotiq. Nothing like being rich and famous. Step out of line and California will send you to one of their lovely country club facilities.


Banana goes wild

Carlton Kohnert is living the American dream. According to his Facebook page, the Sequim native is young (21), engaged to be married and loves his life in the Marine Corps. (Listed under his favorite quotes is, “If grass hoppers had machineguns, birds wouldnt fuck with them.”)

Kohnert also allegedly enjoys a different sort of past-time: dressing up in a little kid’s banana costume and wreaking havoc. Port Angeles police first got a call about a man in a banana suit around 6 p.m. last night. The caller was at a Wendy’s, where she said Kohnert had just exposed himself to a customer.

Next came a call from a local department store, where Kohnert and his buddy were apparently doing 360s in the parking lot in a Dodge Stratus. The final emergency call came shortly after from a local ranch, where Kohnert — still in a banana suit, mind you — allegedly got out of his car holding a shotgun and started talking some gibberish about white supremacy.

“[Kohnert] couldn’t really tell us why he was in the costume,” said one of the arresting deputies. “All we know is he was drinking earlier in the day, but he didn’t really have a reason for the costume.”

Of course, this story wouldn’t be complete without hearing from Kohnert’s fiancee who, according to her Facebook page, wasn’t entirely pleased with the way her sunny Tuesday at the lake turned out.

So the guy has some issues. That's why you stick him in the Marines and ship him overseas. Let the Taliban deal with him.


Sign of the day

Bears used to guard grow-op

Police raiding a marijuana farm in western Canada were astonished to find black bears apparently guarding it. However initial alarm wore off when officers realised the 10 or so bears did not behave aggressively and were in fact docile and tame.

Police believe dog food was used to attract the animals onto the farm in British Columbia. But they say the bears may have to be put down if they have become accustomed to living around humans. Two people were arrested in the raid.

The five police who went to the farm near Christina Lake, close to the US border, to dismantle the marijuana plantation were amazed when the bears loped into view. "They were tame, they just sat around watching. At one point one of the bears climbed onto the hood of a police car, sat there for a bit and then jumped off," said Royal Canadian Mounted Police sergeant Fred Mansveld.

In Canada, feeding bears is illegal as it leads to bears associating food with humans and increases the likelihood of bears coming into towns and cities to look for food. Conservation officers are deciding the fate of the bears.

Questionable street names week

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Mug Shot of the Week - The Hot Edition

One Hit Wonder

Argent - Hold Your Head Up (1972)

Who cares about steroid, unless it's Roger Clemens

So it appears that U.S. authorities are targeting the very core of American corruption: Roger Clemens! Clemens reportedly will be indicted for perjuring himself before Congress in a 2008 steroids hearing.

Frankly, steroid use in baseball bores me. We know all kinds of players were getting juicing and either knocking the cover off the ball or throwing 100 mph fastballs well beyond their prime. There is only two exceptions - Roger Clemens and Barry Bonds. The two obnoxious shitheads continue to deny and stonewall despite mounting evidence. I hope their lying lands them in jail.

You want proof? How about Roger Clemens achieving the lowest ERA of his career at the age of 43. How is that possible? Or Bonds breaking the home run record at the age of 36. They they lie while under oath. What jerks.

Tell me you aren't rooting for the bull

Methods not recommended for drying your car

In case you haven't heard Canadian figure skating legend Kurt Browning burned down his house yesterday trying to dry the seats of his Porsche convertible that had been left out in the rail. He had left a leafblower on the floor of his garage next to his car. Video here.

In hindsight not a smart move. Okay we now know to remove leafblowers from the list. So what else?

We already know what excessive heat will do.

Using sand to suck up moisture might hurt your finish.

You can hang it on the line but it might affect your alignment. Check with your mechanic first.

Questionable street names week

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Pretty gross!

Happy 67th birthday Robert De Niro

De Niro in the 1973 film Mean Streets

De Niro earlier this year

Sign of the day

Pantless motorcyclist arrested for not wearing a helmet

A 40-year-old man was stopped by police and charged for not wearing a helmet while riding his motorcycle this past weekend in Hamilton. He also wasn’t wearing pants, or underwear.

Police tried to stop the nearly-nude motorcyclist - he was wearing a T-shirt - at around 4am on Sunday. When he spotted the officers, he lost control of his bike, managed to steady himself and then took off.

Authorities managed to catch up with him a short time later. The man then tried to take off on foot, but the police managed to arrest him following a short struggle. The man had been drinking, authorities said, but wasn’t impaired.

Aside from failing to wear a helmet, the motorcyclist was also charged with flight from police and dangerous driving. He wasn’t charged with indecent exposure. "No one else was around, it was just the officer and the accused," Acting Staff Sgt. David Hennick said. It is kind of bizarre."

Let's be perfectly clear here. In Canada we regulate a lot of things including what you must wear while riding a motorcycle. It just so happens that the only requirement is that you wear a helmet. It doesn't say anywhere you need to have pants on. Now I'm too sure about driving through a school zone with no pants. I may have to check the regulations on that one and get back to you.

Questionable street names week

Monday, August 16, 2010

Fashion Disaster

Looks like Natalie Portman shops at Goodwill.

Don't "friend" people on Facebook if they have a restraining order on you

Harry Bruder, a Florida man was arrested for twice "friending" his estranged wife on Facebook in violation of a domestic protection order. So not worth it. And there's no way she'd "friend" back given what the guy wrote on his wall. It seems he called her a "lying emotionally disturbed woman". But Bruder went ahead and "friended" anyway, and The Smoking Gun reports the 57-year-old subsequently admitted his online overtures to police and was taken into custody.

It seems a lot of this is going around. You risk going to jail for just poking your ex if he or she hates your guts. Look their 500 million people on Facebook so poke anyone but the one person that can put your ass in jail.

The Material Girl is 52

In her 1985 video

At her birthday party this weekend

Update: Nicole Bobek - From Ice Princess to Meth Queen

Former U.S. figure skating champ Nicole Bobek was sentenced Monday for her involvement in a methamphetamine ring.

Bobek, who won the U.S. figure skating title in 1995, was charged in July 2009, with conspiracy to distribute methamphetamine. At her sentencing in a Jersey City courtroom, she received five years of probation, 250 hours of community service and a $2,500 fine.

The ring reportedly distributed $10,000 worth of meth per week.

The 32-year-old former figure skater faces up to five years in prison if she violates parole or fails a drug test.

Wow I wouldn't never have recognized Bobek. My family were big figure skating fans in the 1990s and I remember Bobek well. Talk about crashing down to Earth. That meth will ruin your life.

Maybe the biggest Star Trek nerd in history


Muskoka Five's sole survivor

The Muskoka Five refers to a core of highly paid Maple Leafs players in 2007-08 all with no-trade contracts courtesy of John Ferguson. Had management been able to trade some or all of these players at a time where they might provide maximum return, the Leafs may have completed a rebuild by now. Unfortunately none ever consented to a trade. Here are their stories.

Bryan McCabe

Bryan signed a 5-year contract with the Leafs on June 29, 2006, just 2 days before he would have become a free agent. That was based largely on the 2005-05 season when Bryan scored 19 goals and 68 points. In 2007–08, Bryan was the focus of numerous trade rumours, but he refused to waive his no-trade clause. Numerous media outlets reported that he would waive it once the Leafs paid him a $2 million signing bonus due on September 1, 2008. As such, Bryan was traded to the Florida Panthers on September 2, the day after receiving his bonus. He was sent with a fourth round draft pick in 2010 in exchange for defenceman Mike Van Ryn, in other words a big fat pile of nothing. Bryan is now captain of the Panthers, the only other team other than the Leafs not to make the playoffs since the lockout ended.

Darcy Tucker

In February 2007, the Maple Leafs and Darcy Tucker agree on a new 4-year, $12 million contract extension to begin the following season to prevent Darcy from becoming a free agent. As in the case of McCabe, Darcy was coming off a career year in 2005-06 when he scored 28 goals and 61 points. Darcy was also the focus of numerous trade rumours in 2007-08 but he too refused to waive his no-trade clause. On June 24, 2008, he became an unrestricted free agent after the Maple Leafs, bought out the remainder of his contract. On July 1, 2008, he signed a two-year deal with the Colorado Avalanche worth $4.5 million. He has since become an unrestricted free agent once again and is waiting for a contract. The Leafs will be paying him for another 4 seasons.

Mats Sundin

Mats was always opposed to be used as a rental player so he never would agree to a deadline deal to contender even if it would help him win a Stanley Cup and provide the Maple Leafs with a kick start for a rebuild. He insisted that he would only feel comfortable playing with a new team from the start of the season. So when Mats became a free agent on July 1, 2008 you would have expected that he would choose a new team by the start of training camp or at least before the season started. Surprise, Mats doesn’t sign with Vancouver until December 18 and only plays a half season. So much for his opposition to joining a team in mid-season. Today Mats is retired from hockey and recently married to Josephine Johansson.

Pavel Kubina

On July 1, 2006, Pavel signed a deal with the Maple Leafs for four years at $20 million. Pavel had a clause in his contract which allowed the Leafs to make a trade from the date of the Amateur Draft to August 15. On July 1, 2009, Pavel was traded to the Atlanta Thrashers with the rights to Tim Stapleton for Garnet Exelby and Colin Stuart. In the hockey business they call this a salary dump. On July 2, 2010, Pavel returned to the Tampa Bay Lightning signing a two year contract valued at $7.7 million total.

Tomas Kaberle

Tomas is on the last year of his contract which also has a clause that allows the team to trade him from the date of the Amateur Draft to August 15. In 2008, prior to the trading deadline the Leafs had a trade worked out with Philadelphia which would have landed them Jeff Carter and first round draft pick for Tomas. He refused to go. Last summer while there was an opening to make a trade, Brian Burke thought he had a deal for Phil Kessel and a first round draft pick for Tomas. The problem was that Boston thought it was the Leafs that were throwing in a draft pick. The deal never happened and instead the Leafs grossly overpaid to land Kessel. This summer again the Leafs attempted to deal Tomas but couldn't get the return they were expecting. Obviously Leafs had no long term plans for Tomas but that didn't stop them from over-pricing him. As a result he will likely leave at the end of this season as a free agent for nothing (see Mat Sundin above)

Old man in walker robs bank

A speedy getaway is usually critical for bank robbers, but perhaps not for an elderly British Columbia man who this week held up a bank - and while using a walker. While no weapon was produced, the 75-year-old told staff at a Prince George Bank of Nova Scotia that he was armed. Staff surrendered a small amount of cash and the robber made his getaway as RCMP were called at around 11:45 a.m. on Friday.

The suspect was described as a Caucasian male weighing about 230 pounds. He was wearing a straw hat, white T-shirt, grey jogging pants and dark glasses - and he was using a walker that many rely on for mobility. Prince George RCMP spokesman Gary Godwin said the man was apprehended approximately 45 minutes later in the same suburban strip mall where the bank is located.

The man is in custody while police investigate the decidedly unusual case. “It’s not every day you get a 75-year-old male on a walker holding up a bank,” Godwin said. “We’re looking at all the circumstances that are involved.” He said the man is known to police. Godwin, who has just retired from the RCMP after 25 years and has 36 years of policing experience, has never seen as elderly a bank robber as in this case.

How embarrassing is this for Canadians? Now word is out that our banks can be knocked off by overweight old men that can't walk. Seniors from all over America will be coming to Canada to buy cheap prescription drugs and rob a few banks.

Questionable street names week

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Mug Shot of the Week

You never ask this question

Sign of the day

Police in France are looking for two attractive female thieves who bared their breasts at a man at an ATM machine to distract him before stealing his money.

The women in their 20s exposed themselves to the victim as he punched his pin code into an ATM machine in Paris. As he stared at one, the other then withdrew 300 euros from his account before the pair fled with the money.

The incident was captured on CCTV at the machine on Paris’s Left Bank, but the women could not be identified, a French police spokesman said.

“We would advise anyone withdrawing cash from a machine to focus on what they are doing and not allow themselves to be distracted, however attractive the view,” the spokesman added.

Now this is totally unfair. In Ontario there is a anti- panhandling law on the books that makes it illegal to panhandling within so many feet of an ATM. Come on, aggressively panhandling I can deal with but hot girls flashing their boobs is totally unfair. I'm counting on our government to do the right thing. Anywhere but in front of ATM machines. We have to protect the public.

Questionable street names week