Saturday, September 18, 2010

Tea Party favorite Christine O'Donnell dabbled in witchcraft

For those who don't keep up with these things Christine O'Donnell is an American politician who is the Republican Party nominee in Delaware's 2010 U.S. Senate special election, which will be held on November 2, 2010. After garnering endorsements and support from the Tea Party movement, O'Donnell defeated the establishment Republican candidate. She opposes most things including abortion, pornography, extramarital sex, and masturbation but apparently not witchcraft. Hey Modonna is into Kabbalah.

The end is near for Helena Guergis

Dr. Kellie Leitch is set to announce her intention to seek the Conservative nomination in the riding of Simcoe-Grey for the next election. The 40-year-old is an accomplished professional who is an orthopaedic surgeon at the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto and an associate professor at the University of Toronto.

That happens to be the riding held by MP Helena Guergis. But her party has dropped her as the official Conservative candidate. Guergis says she will run as an "independent conservative" in the next federal election.

Guergis now sits as an Independent MP after she resigned her junior cabinet post and was kicked out of the Conservative caucus by Prime Minister Stephen Harper in April, then removed as the Tory candidate in her riding.In July, the RCMP cleared the former cabinet minister of unspecified allegations forwarded to the force by the prime minister.

A recent poll commissioned by a group of local conservatives indicated Guergis would be re-elected as an Independent -- stealing considerable support from the Conservatives, as well as the other parties in the riding.

The poll, conducted by Holinshed Research Group of Ottawa, shows the Conservatives have a two-to-one share of voter support in the riding over the Liberal Party.

However, if Guergis runs for re-election, she would carry about 40% of that Conservative support. She would also draw support away from the other parties, and -- according to the poll--likely squeak out a win.

When you need to go

Fight, Fight!

The most pathetic street brawl you will ever see. You'll see more violence from a group of 8 year old girls fighting over Barbie dolls.

Paris Hilton gets a little more celebrity justice

Paris Hilton was arrested for possession of cocaine on August 27, and her boyfriend Cy Watts was booked for a DUI. It looks like Hilton won’t serve time for her latest drug infraction, managing to get the felony charges reduced.

You remember, the purse she was carrying that wasn't hers. Well at least the blow inside the purse couldn't have been hers.

The media is reporting that Paris was able to cop a plea to avoid jail time. Her lawyers have arranged to have her plead guilty to two misdemeanors that will result in a year of probation.

Hilton will be required to attend a drug abuse program, pay a $2,000 fine and do 200 hours of community service.

She'll be laughing all the way to the club she hits tonight.

Robert Blake is 77 today

Blake in the 1967 film In Cold Blood

Blake in TV show Baretta in 1977

Blake following his arrest in 2002 in the murder of his wife

Parrot is arrested in drug bust

A parrot in Colombia has been arrested after it was seized during a police drugs raid. According to environmental authorities, Lorenzo the parrot was trying to tip-off a local drug cartel when officers conducted an undercover raid early on Wednesday.

"This parrot was sending out alerts," said police officer Hollman Oliveira. "You could say he was some sort of watch bird." Authorities claim Lorenzo is one of nearly 1700 parrots seized by officials after being trained by drug traffickers to act as lookouts.

Lorenzo caused quite the stir on Wednesday as he was presented to journalists. The well trained creature even showed off his look out skills as he yelled out: "run, run you are going to get caught." "He spent the whole morning saying that," police Colonel Freddy Veloza said.

Despite Lorenzo's attempts, Veloza's officers still managed to seize more than two-hundred weapons, a stolen motorcycle and a large quantity of marijuana. At least four men and two other birds were also arrested in the raids.

Public Toilet Week

People waving hi

Friday, September 17, 2010

Sign of the day

Economic Action Plan is all about politics not the economy

This week, Conservative House leader John Baird announced that over the coming months, Prime Minister Harper, Cabinet and members of Caucus will travel across Canada to engage Canadian families and workers on Canada’s long term economic action plan. This is coming from a government that initially didn't think the economy needed stimulating and only jumped on the bandwagon when threatened to be defeated by the Opposition. Now they can't stop telling us about how great their economic stimulus plan is.

This comes after it came to light that civil servants across Canada were ordered by the Harper government to document every single sign posted anywhere promoting the federal economic stimulus plan.

They've spent countless hours tracking every one of more than 8,500 signs posted since last summer, when the urgent, weekly exercise was ordered by the Privy Council Office, the bureaucratic support arm of Prime Minister Stephen Harper's office. It continues to this day.

Eighteen departments and agencies are involved, including the country's over-stretched food inspection agency, fisheries and oceans officials, health, public safety and environment workers and Parks Canada employees.
The signage database, at the request of PCO, includes the total number of projects that require an "Economic Action Plan" sign, the number of signs already installed, the number of signs remaining to be installed and the number of signs ordered.

Yes not only are our tax dollars being spent to tell us the government is spending money but they have created a detailed infrastructure to keep track of the signs put up to tell us that the government is spending our money.

Bautista hits #48!

He won't be the MVP this season. In fact he will likely get few votes. But his revamped swing has caught the baseball world by surprise. And not even one of his home runs was hit to the opposite field. Plus Bautista has one of the best beards in baseball. He could grow a beard over the course of a baseball game.

Woman can't stop exposing herself

When police arrested Jennifer Rush on Saturday afternoon as she walked along the beach wearing only a ragged wet T-shirt, it wasn’t their first run-in with the apparently drunken and nearly naked woman, reports the Panama City News-Herald.

This year alone, police have arrested Rush for “exposing her breasts and rear end” to bowling alley patrons, boarding a charter bus loaded with BP contract workers and “exposing her breasts,” and “exposing her vaginal area to several bystanders … including a child” as she lay on a bench in front of a bar, according to police reports.

State Attorney Glenn Hess, a former circuit judge, said he’d like to stop the cycle of “just rolling [Rush] through the system” and to get her help with a sentence that includes more than just fines and jail time, reports the News-Herald.

Rush appears to have a “substance abuse problem,” Hess told the News-Herald, and would be better served in a treatment center.

In the latest arrest, deputies reported that Rush’s “breasts, buttocks and genitalia” were clearly visible through the holey white T-shirt, “which was basically transparent,” according to the News-Herald.

After a 2006 incident, a gas station employee told police the then-19-year-old Rush “was intoxicated … yelling obscenities and crude remarks to the families using the gas station and … was exposing herself indecently.”

A few days later, police responded to “a drunken female wandering in and out of traffic” on Front Beach Road, “showing her breasts and genitalia to traffic,” according to a Panama City Beach Police Department report. The next month, an officer reported finding her in a parking lot “wearing nothing but a black tank top” and “so intoxicated that she was almost struck by several vehicles.”

Lindsay Lohan in trouble again

Only six weeks following her release Lindsay Lohan was reported Friday to have failed a drug test imposed as a condition of her early release last month from a Los Angeles rehabilitation program.

Celebrity news site said the “Mean Girls” actress had tested positive for cocaine in a court-ordered test last week. Under the terms of probation set in August, Lohan would be sent back to jail for 30 days if the reports prove correct.

So much for her being rehabilitated. She seems to do a convincing job talking her way out of problems only getting into more trouble shortly after. Who says she is washed up as an actress? Seems to be flourishing just on another stage.

Kol Nidre

Tonight begins Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement in the Jewish calendar and Kol Nidre is an Aramaic declaration recited in the synagogue before the beginning of the evening service on every Yom Kippur. In honour of Yom Kippur here is a selection of artists both Jewish and non-Jewish reciting Kol Nidre. Gmar Chatima Tov to all!

Perry Como

Sholomo Carlebach

Max Bruch

Moscow Male Jewish Cappella Choir

Public Toilet Week

Harper's Conservatives continue to search for that elusive majority

The Conservatives have a small lead over the Liberals as federal politicians prepare to return to the House of Commons next week, the latest EKOS poll shows:
  • Conservatives: 32.4%
  • Liberals: 28.9%
  • NDP: 16.6%
  • Green Party: 10.7%
  • Bloc Quebecois: 8.9%
  • Other: 2.5%

The summer hasn’t been great for the Conservative government’s march towards a Parliamentary majority. First there was the $1 billion boondoggle called the G8/G20 Summits. That was supposed to provide a global backdrop for the Prime Minister. Instead it turned to downtown core of Canada’s largest city into a war zone. Then there was the census debacle which created opponents from some of the most unlikely places including small businesses, hospitals and municipalities. Churning up xenophobia in response to a boatload of Tamils that landed in B.C.

Finally Harper decides this would be a great time to kill the gun registry and deliver one for the core. The Liberals and Bloc are determined to save the gun registry so it is all up to the NDP. Initially it looks like enough rural based NDP MPs will vote with the Conservatives but slowly a number reconsider. So Jack Layton believes he’s saved the federal gun registry. The Conservatives could not be happier.

That means the search for the perfect wedge issue may have come to an end. Losing a vote on the gun registry will no doubt be sued by the Conservatives to sway rural voters to their party.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Self-Serve wine tanks for supermarkets

Self-serve wine tanks could be hitting American supermarkets within a year. These 500 and 1,000 liter mechanical kegs dispense wine into whatever container the shopper brings with them.

By getting rid of the packaging, the wine can be shipped much cheaper. The savings get passed on to you with lower prices, and supposedly the wine tastes pretty good too.

Bring your own resealable bottles, Poland Spring containers, jerrycans, whatever. Or you can get one at the store. Select your grade (red, white, or rosé). Pump. Print receipt.

The wine is priced at about $2/litre which pretty much prices it below a bottle of Pepsi.


Sign of the day

Jose Bautista hits one for the record book

Jose Bautista hit his 47th home run of the year in Baltimore on Wednesday off Orioles pitcher Brad Bergesen. In the process, he tied George Bell for the Blue Jays' franchise record of homers hit in one season.

There are still 16 games to go.

Public Toilet Week

Hump Day Hottie

Gwyneth Platrow

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Timing is everything

Republican candidate says Girl Scouts promote secret feminist agenda

Hans Zeiger, a Republican candidate for Washington state's House of Representatives, says the girl scouts are pushing a feminist agenda that's harmful to American youth. He shared his anti-Girl Scout sentiments in a past column written for a conservative Web site, which the Democrats dug up and is now going viral on the Internet.

"One might wonder why the Girl Scouts have been spared the painful attacks that have been launched upon the Boy Scouts by the Left in recent years. The reasons are simple: the Girl Scouts allow homosexuals and atheists to join their ranks, and they have become a pro-abortion, feminist training corps. ... If the Girl Scouts of America can't get back to teaching real character, perhaps it will be time to look for our cookies elsewhere."

Zeiger is trying to cover his tracks by having the statement removed along with a number of other problematic remarks made in columns on right-wing Web sites.


Burglary ring uses Facebook to select victims

According to NECN, police busted a burglary ring in Nashua, NH accused of more than 50 break-ins and seized $100,000 in stolen property. The crooks targeted victims who posted their location on Facebook (in other words the crooks know you will be out of the house).

If you haven't adjusted your Facebook Places privacy settings, you shouldn't be too surprised to come home after posting that you're at the bar and your house has been robbed.

I only spent $400 on Boris the One Man Band for my daughter's Bat Mitzvah

David Brooks spent $10 million on his daughter's Bat Mitzvah which featured performances by 50 Cent and Aerosmith. Now he's going to jail.

Prosecutors proved that Brooks shelled out more than $6 million from the treasury of DHB Industries Inc. on luxuries, which also included cosmetic surgery for his wife, country club bills, a jeweled belt buckle worth about $100,000 and prostitutes for his employees.

Brooks, 55, who founded DHB, made a fortune selling bulletproof vests and body armor to police departments and the U.S. military.

The verdict in the eight-month trial in a federal courtroom in Central Islip, L.I., came more than five weeks after closing arguments - although juror vacations and holidays made deliberations sporadic.

Brooks faces up to 25 years in prison for his conviction on securities fraud, insider trading and obstruction of justice. He could also be on the hook for millions of dollars in criminal forfeiture to the government.


Mug Shot of the Week

At least let the poor shmuck where a hat for his mug shot.

Couple sues after finding used tampon in cereal

An Upson County man and his wife have filed a federal suit against a grocery store chain and cereal manufacturer, contending that the man found a used tampon in a bowl of cereal. In the complaint, Thomas and Lynn Roddenberry said they bought a box of Chocolate Chip Crunch cereal from the Save-A-Lot store at 1021 N. U.S. 19 in Thomaston on Oct. 23, 2008.

The following day, Thomas Roddenberry opened the cereal box and poured cereal and milk into a bowl. After taking a bite, Roddenberry said he discovered the tampon in his bowl, according to the suit, filed on Wednesday in U.S. District Court in Macon. Roddenberry said he spit out the milk and cereal and became nauseated almost immediately. He went to an emergency room for treatment, according to the complaint.

The seal for the cereal box and the plastic bag containing the cereal showed no signs of having been broken by anyone previously. Roddenberry sustained physical injuries “from the adulterated food” as well as emotional worry, according to the lawsuit.

The Roddenberrys are seeking unspecified general and special damages, as well as court costs. Chon Tomlin, a Save-A-Lot spokesperson, declined to comment citing pending litigation.

Seriously I would be too embarrassed to show up at an ER complaining about a bad box of Chocolate Chip Crunch cereal let alone go public with the admission through a law suit. At least protect your reputation but not naming the cereal product. Or at least claim it was a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal. At least people won't laugh at you.

Public Toilet Week

Monday, September 13, 2010

The Olsen Twins have a sister

OK where have I been? It seems the twin trolls from Full House have a younger sister Elizabeth that looks just like Mary-Kate and Ashley only with less money. In 2007 Forbes had estimated the net worth of the twins at about $100 million. So with all their pull, couldn't Mary-Kate and Ashley gotten a few guest appearances for younger sis Lizzie. How much Stabrucks coffee can two girls drink anyway?

Worst run back off a kick off in the history of football

Sign of the day

How did I ever miss this event?

Next summer I'm hoping in the pseudo-mobile and heading straight to Illinois with my video camera. By the way I would have put my money on the big lady at the end.

Parrot tells woman about cheating husband

In an unusual incident, a parrot told its owner her man was cheating. Rachel Harrison was left crying mad when her pet parrot Harvey revealed all about her man's philandering.

‘Love-rat’ Andy Thomson had turned the couple''s lounge into a lunchtime love-nest - unaware that Harvey had memorised his pillow-squawk. Rachel’s suspicion instigated when the six-year-old African grey started screeching ''Oh Claire, oh Claire'' as she cuddled up to Andy on the sofa.

Then the bird blasted the final cut: "I love you Claire." "There was a girl at Andy''s work called Claire. I suspected something was going on because parrots only mimic what they hear."

Her suspicion turned to conviction when she called Andy’s office the next day only to find out that he was s out for lunch with Claire. Rachel sent Andy packing - and gave Harvey away, because he kept screeching Claire's name.

Public Toilet Week

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Cricket match fixing scandal angers Pakistanis

It seems Pete Rose is now gambling on cricket matches following allegations that fixing by players is endemic in its matches. British police are investigating newspaper allegations that two Pakistani players deliberately bowled no-balls in Pakistan’s humiliating test defeat against England at Lord’s.

When I first heard about the no-balls deal my initial reaction was that eunuchs were some how involved. So I looked up the meaning. Unfortunately I was totally confused so I'm sticking with my initial interpretation.

The three Pakistan cricketers at the centre of a spot-fixing scandal were allowed to fly home on Friday, but with assurances they would be available to Scotland Yard detectives for further questioning. We have been unable to confirm whether any of them were hit by flying shoes.

A child was able to break through security and approach one of the players and asked him point blank, "Say it ain't so Mohammed."

Protests have been violent in Pakistan. The factory of a cricket ball maker was burned to the ground. Curfews were established to curb the violence.

Millions of people in a deeply troubled country are on the verge of losing one of their few sources of solace, all over a pocketful of dirty cash.

The question you never want to hear

Sauerkraut explosion prompts quarantine

Add Image

Twenty-four students and four staff members at a central B.C. high school were briefly quarantined after a can of sauerkraut exploded Friday in a food science class.

The fire department, a hazardous materials unit and RCMP were called to Kelly Road Secondary School in Prince George at about 2 p.m. PT.

RCMP Const. Lesley Smith said school officials were concerned about a possible botulism outbreak after the contents of a years-old can of pickled cabbage splattered on students.

Officials later determined there was no cause for alarm.

Now for the good news...

The students briefly returned to their classes, then were dismissed early.

The Mounties were able to nab that radical Islamic terrorist cell in Ottawa before they could produce their bombs but the slipped up on the exploding pickled cabbage. Mark this off as another successful attack by Al Qaeda.


Man kills five over bad breakfast

A man who was fighting his landlord over an eviction order to oust him from his home because of his explosive temper apparently went too far on Saturday.

Stanley Neace became upset over the way his wife had prepared his breakfast eggs so he shot her to death, together with his stepdaughter and three of his neighbors.

Trooper Jody Sims of the Kentucky State Police told the press that the 47 year old Neace murdered the five in Eastern Kentucky at about 11.30am on Saturday. He then went home and turned the gun on himself. Police found his body on the porch of his Jackson, KY trailer.

According to Sherri Ann Robinson, who is related to one of the shooting victims, the assailant was distressed over the way his breakfast was prepared and had scared his wife Sandra so much that she ran to a neighbor’s home for help.

Neace pursued his wife and in the end five people lay dead –his wife Sandra, her daughter also called Sandra, and neighbors Dennis Turner, Teresa Fugate and Tammy Kilborn.

When the police arrived on the scene about an hour after the shootings they say that the heard one more, single gunshot. That they believe was Stanley Neace taking his own life.

This is why I would never live in a trailer park and why I cook my own eggs. The last thing I can tolerate is badly prepared eggs in the morning. Not sure if I would lose it but you never know. I wouldn't live in a trailer park because the last thing I need is some pissed off guy who had been served overcooked scrambled eggs to barge into my trailer with a shotgun. Not only will that ruin my breakfast but likely the rest of the day.


Fans not too confident about Maple Leafs' chances

Well the polling is closed and only 36% of respondents believe the Leafs will make the playoffs this season. Now the results appear a little skewed by Leaf haters and Leaf fanatics. The most popular response was 15th place in the East which might reflect Leaf haters - except that's exactly how they finished last season. However, this season Vesa Toskala will not be within 1,000 miles of a Leaf net. Last place is therefore less likely to happen. The second popular response was 1st place in the East which has as much possibility of happening as Jack Layton becoming Prime Minister of Canada.

Some reasons why the Leafs won't make the playoffs:
  • Top 6 forwards are not good enough
  • Powerplay and penalty killing may continue to be weak
  • Ron Wilson may be losing the dressing room
  • No #1 centre
  • Team has too many U.S. college players
Some reasons why the Leafs will make the playoffs:
  • Giguere and Gustavsson will finally provide enough goaltending to make the playoffs
  • Phaneuf will solidify the defense
  • Kadri will grow into the #1 centre position
  • Good goaltending will make penalty killers more effective
  • Team has speed, youth, enthusiasm and truculence
Poll questions: Where will the Maple Leafs finish in the East this season?

7 (14%)
1 (2%)
1 (2%)
1 (2%)
2 (4%)
3 (6%)
2 (4%)
1 (2%)
7 (14%)
2 (4%)
4 (8%)
6 (12%)
2 (4%)
0 (0%)
11 (22%)

Sign of the day

Man with Tourettes thinks he can sing

Take away his annoying tics and he still has a terrible voice. He should throw away his video recorder.

Public Toilet Week