Saturday, November 06, 2010

Man stabs himself in the back

A 63-year-old man who told authorities he was stabbed in the back by an intruder late on Tuesday actually stabbed himself, the Boulder County Sheriff’s Office said on Thursday. Eric Ackerman told deputies on Tuesday that he went outside his home with a handgun to investigate a noise, when someone stabbed him and ran. Ackerman said he fired at the suspect, whom he only described as a white man.

Deputies had previously been called to Ackerman’s North 66th Street home on another report that he’d been stabbed by a prowler, that time in the arm, sheriff’s Cmdr. Rick Brough said. That report, on Sept. 30, came three days after Ackerman reported that someone broke into his garage and slashed all four of his car’s tyres.

Ackerman admitted he had stabbed himself both times after investigators determined physical evidence from Tuesday’s incident didn’t support his story, Brough said. For example, he said, there were no footprints where Ackerman claimed the intruder had been.

The Sheriff’s Office is consulting with the Boulder County District Attorney’s Office to determine whether to file criminal charges against Ackerman for false reporting to authorities or prohibited use of a weapon, Brough said. “They have to look at his mental state and criminal culpability,” Brough said.

Sally Fields is 63 today

Sally as Gidget in 1965

Sally as Sister Bertrille in The Flying Nun in 1967

Sally as Sybil in 1976

Sally in the 1979 film Norma Rae

It's Graffiti Week

I guess Air Canada will be banning silicon masks

By now everyone has heard how some young Asian man put on a silicon mask to impersonate an old Caucasian man and walked onto an Air Canada flight in Hong Kong.

All this security and inconvenience when flying and they miss some guy with explosives in his underwear. I can't bring a bottle of water onto a flight but airport security didn't seem to notice the fake old guy.

So I guess al-Qaeda will now be filling planes with jihadists wearing little old lady masks. But seriously the reason flying is such a hassle is that security is fixated on historical breaches as if terrorists will try things that didn't work before, like shoe bombs.

The past week cargo bombs were discovered being shipped out of Yemen. So airlines have banned packages from Yemen. Hmm, you think maybe the next cargo bomb might be shipped from another destination.

They will eventually ban anything from getting on a plane other than your naked butt.

My favourite was Umar Farouk, the Christmas Bomber. The guy had known al-Qaeda ties. His father had contacted U.S. authorities only days about his son's fanaticism. He bought a one-way ticket to Detroit. The response? Banning more items from carry on luggage.

You know it doesn't have to be like this. Israel has security screening down to a science. You go through 4 levels of professional screening before boarding an El Al flight that takes just about 30 minutes. That's because they are very well trained and they do profiling - a dirty word in North America.

All I know is that I'll take my shoes off to board a flight but I'm not dropping my trousers.

Lottery winners give most of their millions away

Violet and Allen Large had everything they ever wanted and thought they would ever need. When the modest retired couple from rural Nova Scotia won a lotto jackpot worth more than $11 million this summer they started making a list of charities and community groups that could use the money.

They had two pages by the time they finished; at the top were the hospitals in Truro and Halifax where Violet, 78, has been treated for ovarian cancer since the spring.

“That money that we won was nothing,” Allen, 75, told the Halifax Chronicle-Herald, choking back tears. “We have each other.”

The Larges’ generosity — they gave away all but two per cent of their $11,255,272 winnings.

After the hospitals, the Larges also donated undisclosed amounts of money to their local fire departments, churches, cemeteries, the Red Cross, Salvation Army and a number of organizations that fight cancer, Alzheimer’s and diabetes.

They gave some money to family and kept about $200,000 “for a rainy day.”

I'm not going to criticize a such a lovely and generous couple. I just don't understand the point of buying lottery tickets if you don't really want the money in the first place. Isn't it partly greed that motivates people to buy lottery tickets? By the way Violet and Allen, if you still have some cash to unload please leave a comment on my blog telling me how I can get hold of you.


Friday, November 05, 2010

Can Harper and Hudak cash in on Ford's electoral success?

The election of Rob Ford as mayor Toronto likely has federal and provincial Conservatives excited about their prospects in Toronto in future elections. The next provincial election is just 11 months away and the next federal election could be any time soon if Prime Minister Harper chooses to manoeuvre his minority government to lose a non-confidence vote in Parliament.

So are the key elements there for the federal and provincial Tories to repeat the Ford sweep in Toronto?

Did Toronto abandon its progressive roots and shift to the right or were there other elements in play? I’m not really convinced that Toronto voters really shifted to the right as much as they wanted to repudiate the David Miller administration. The combination of mounting fees and taxes introduced over the past four years along with eroding services (such as the TTC and last summer’s strike) created a brewing taxpayers’ revolt.

Along comes Rob Ford with a very simplistic message of reducing waste and respect for taxpayers. In contrast his opponents had much more complex policy platforms that failed to resonate with voters and sounded like they could lead to further tax increases.

So can Progressive Conservative leader Tim Hudak portray himself as Ontario’s Rob Ford and Dalton McGuinty as David Miller? Maybe. The Premier has had not exactly developed a reputation as a tax fighter over the past 7 years. Early in his first term he took quite a hit politically for introducing the health assessment. The voters overlooked this in the 2007 election. However, over the past year he has hit the voters’ pocketbooks on several occasions including the eco fee mess, HST, higher electricity rates and the provincial deficit. Add to that higher auto insurance premiums which are not set by the government but regulated by the province. McGuinty is vulnerable and Hudak has begun to refine his message to portray the Premier as a tax and spend politician.

Now it might be more difficult for the Prime Minister to follow the same approach. The federal Liberals have been out of power long enough that they no longer have a record to run against. Add to that the $1 billion dollar G8/G20 spend-fest and Stephen Harper is going to have a difficult time convincing Toronto voters that he is protecting their tax dollars. Remember that fake Muskoka Lake in downtown Toronto for the media, the ugly fence that cut people off from the homes and ugly side of our police services. The Tories may find Toronto a rough nut to crack still.

Jesus booted from church?

A man dressed as Jesus was thrown out of a St. Louis area church on Sunday. Police were even called to get in the middle of the spiritual showdown. "We're called to be ambassadors for Jesus Christ, ambassadors should represent, and that's what I do. I try to represent my Lord and savior Jesus Christ," said Neal Thompson on Monday night, wearing the same white robe and cross, and carrying the same staff he's been using every Sunday for 22 years.

He dresses up like Jesus every week, going to a new church every week, he says, to spread his Christian message. "He said 'Take up your cross, your breastplate, and your staff and follow in Jesus Christ's footsteps and wear a white robe to show your sincerity,'" he said. "That's my job, to spread the word." He says he is questioned most weeks, but then welcomed. But when he tried to enter St. Paul's Lutheran Church in Des Peres, he was not allowed in.

"One of the deacons saw me," he said, "and when I went in the church he met me and he said, 'Can I help you? What do you want?' I said, 'I want to go to church here today.' And he said, 'What do you believe in? Are you Christian? What religion are you?' I said, 'I'm a Christian.'" Thompson said he was not allowed in the sanctuary. Church members told him he'd have to sit in the hallway.

"And I said, 'Well this ain't right, you guys ain't treating me right.' He said, 'We're gonna call the police.' I said, 'Well call them, I don't care. Call them.' So I sat down and the next thing I know four or five police showed up." Des Peres police say Thompson wasn't causing a scene, but they asked him to leave and he did, peacefully. "Oh I forgive them, I forgive them," said Thompson. He said this was only the second time he's been kicked out of a church in the last 22 years.


It's Graffiti Week


Thursday, November 04, 2010

Toronto cops docked pay for removing name tags during G20

About 90 cops will be docked a day's pay for illegally removing their nametags during the G20 crackdown in Toronto. Toronto police chief Bill Blair said that the officers removed their badges so that they couldn't be identified. This is part of a general pattern of illegal behavior during the Toronto G20, including arrests for violating a nonexitent law, extended detention in cuffs without adequate heating or toilet facilities, misleading press statements about seized weapons, and arresting a protestor who was blowing soap-bubbles.


Highlight from last Monday's Dallas Cowboys (1-6) game

Mug Shot of the Week - Celebrity Edition

Halloween Crime of the Year

Early on Monday, a police officer pulled over a pickup being driven erratically by a Lincoln, Nebraska man dressed as a Breathalyzer.

Matthew Nieveen, 19, was cited for second-offence driving under the influence and being a minor in possession of alcohol. According to a police report, he was driving a 1992 Ford F-150 northbound on 33rd Street between Holdrege and Huntington when an officer saw the truck rapidly accelerate and cross the centre line several times. The officer stopped the truck at 37th and Huntington, the report states.

The officer said Nieveen had watery eyes and slurred speech and smelled like alcohol. Police found a bottle of vodka, a half-full bottle of Mountain Dew and vodka and several cans and bottles of beer in the truck. "He was dressed as a PBT (preliminary breath testing) alcohol sensor and had been attending a Halloween party prior to the stop," the report says.

Police took Nieveen to Cornhusker Place, where, the report says, his blood alcohol measured more than twice the legal limit of .08 percent. The legal limit for minors is zero. Nieveen also was cited for an open container violation and negligent driving before being released to detox staff.

It's Graffiti Week

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

Happy 62nd birthday to Lulu

Mary Walsh ambushes Christine O'Donnell

I love Mary Walsh and her character Marg Delahunty. In fact she also did a number on Sarah Palin.

Here she is out talking the Prime Minister of Canada. You don't see that very often.

Sign of the day

Insurer claims Marine shot in head only received flesh wound

A British Royal Marine who suffered brain damage when he was shot in the head by a Taliban bullet has been told by insurers that he only suffered a "flesh wound". Liam Brentley, 25, had parts of his skull, jaw and brain tissue removed, and was left suffering deafness and memory loss.

The father-of-two survived only because his goggles deflected the sniper round, which hit him while on patrol in Afghanistan in June. But Mr Brentley and his family have been left outraged after he received a letter giving an initial insurance payout of just $2,400 - with his injury described as a "flesh wound."

Brentley's father Gary, 50, said, "I'm stunned and insulted. A flesh wound is surely a graze from a bullet - my son had half of his head blown off." Mr Brentley, who is still recovering from the incident, has applied to the UK Ministry of Defence for compensation.

Insurance firm Chartis said that if Mr Bentley still has permanent injury after a period of recovery, normally a year, he will receive more cash. A spokesman said "flesh wounds" covered all injuries inflicted by bullets. He added: "If the wording has caused stress then we apologise. But this is just the start of the assessment procedure."

Anyone who doesn't believe insurance companies are run by blood sucking scum please raise your hand.

It's Graffiti Week

Hump Day Hottie

Katy Perry in the kitchen

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

One Hit Wonder

Poppy Family - Which Way You Goin' Billy (1969)

Leaf fans may not have Dion Phaneuf to kick around for a while

Maple Leafs captain Dion Phaneuf had to be helped off the ice after tangling his legs with the Ottawa Senators' Peter Regin in the second period at Air Canada Centre and was carted off to the hospital.

Right now there is no word on how long, it at all, that he will be out of the lineup.

The irony is that both tonight and on Saturday there was a smattering of boos directed at Phaneuf by impatient Leaf fans. Hey when the team is not winning and you make a player the face of the team, the wrath of the fans will be directed at him.

This week GM Brian Burke has provided a spirited defense of the captain. I would expect no less from Burke who has always stood up for his players. But Burke will need to tread carefully and not further upset the impatient fan base.

“You're talking about a real small number of people, and frankly I think it's a disgrace. Ten games in . . . all the time I worked in Vancouver I don't think I ever had a player booed. Our team got booed a few times, I think we probably had it coming” but no player was singled out, Burke said. He also suggested that in the short time since coming to Toronto, no player has done more on and off the ice than Phaneuf.

Perhaps fan expect too much of Phaneuf but those high expectations are partly created by the team. He literally was treated as a savior since day one and installed as captain despite having not shown much on the ice. This is a stud player that Calgary had given up on and we all can see why. It might have been wiser to just let the guy play his way back into form and not make him a centre piece right away.

Let's face it, Burke has hooked his wagon to this player and has to support him. This is a marriage than has to work.

But dumping on the impatient fans is neither fair or wise. No fan base anywhere is as supportive as Leaf Nation. These fans rabidly back a team that has provided next to nothing for 43 years expect for a bad product at ridiculous prices.

If you want to know what a disgrace is? How about a team projected to be in contention for a playoff spot finishing 29th overall. How about a team that hasn't make the playoff since 2004? How about a team that hasn't made a Cup final series since 1967? How about a team once again projected to compete for a playoff spot that can't score? Yet is not the least bit ashamed to charge their customers in excess of $200 for a ticket.

Brian shut the fuck up. Remember who pays your salary?

U.S. Immigration tells Rachel McAdams to 'stop making stupid movies'

Rachel McAdams has revealed how she was told to stop making 'stupid movies' by an immigration official as she tried to enter America.

The 31-year-old Canadian born star was also criticised for her pink hair colour by the abusive agent.

'She was tough. I had pink hair at the time, and she said "Don't dye your hair that colour and don't make any more stupid movies".'

The confrontation came as McAdams attempted to enter the US from her native Canada.

Although she had a 'green card' that allows her to work and live in the US she still had to go through immigration control.

McAdams said she was too polite to ask the official what films she was referring to, telling the New York Times: 'I was just glad she let me through.'

Hey I'm not surprised. The last thing I would ever expect when crossing the border is a polite U.S. Immigration officer. I'm heading down south with a wallet full of cash and a fist full of credit cards, ready to do my part to stimulate the U.S. economy and the first person to greet you is a surly, fat head, border guard.


Boy gets detention for farting on school bus

This young man has learned an important lesson - you need to learn to drop silent farts. That is my forte. I've dropped them on the subway, in my boss' office, in bed, in elevators, the hospital, at the gym. You look straight ahead and let it rip and move on like nothing happened.

Watch Conan's under 5 minutes show

Conan O'Brien put on a five-minute trial run of his upcoming TBS show in a conference room.

It's Graffiti Week

Monday, November 01, 2010

Sign of the day

Don't touch me

How's my driving?

Police are interviewing an elderly woman from Wilmington, Delaware for driving the wrong way on Interstate 95 in suburban Philadelphia, leading to a number of crashes.

The woman, an 84-year-old, was interviewed at her home, according to the Pennsylvania State Police. They say charges are pending.

Hey granny! Might be time to sell the Buick station wagon and start taking cabs before you kill yourself. I think it's official. You are a worse driver than that lady that ran over a car in a the parking lot of a fitness centre near my home.


CFL has wacky rules

For those not familiar with the Canadian Football League, the rules are not the same as the NFL. Besides one less down and one extra man on the field, the kicking game is much different.

If the kicker makes a field goal, the team gets 3 points. Not much difference here. However, if the kicker misses the FG, the defense can concede one point and start with the ball on the 35 yard line,or the defense can retrieve the ball and either return it out of the end zone, or, if they don’t think they can return it, they can kick the ball away. If the kicking team recovers the ball in the end zone, they get the touchdown, or if the ball goes out of the end zone, they also get one point. Yup it's all very simple so just watch the video below.

It's Graffiti Week

What aTV is for

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Congrats to Jose Bautista, 2010 winner of Hank Aaron Award

Jose Bautista, the surprise player of the year added more to his list of credentials - he is the AL winner of the Hank Aaron Award, which goes to top offensive performer in each league.

In the so-called year of the pitcher, Bautista belted 54 home runs – 12 more than anybody else in the majors and five fewer than the combined total for his previous six seasons.

He also mentioned that he would be open to signing a one year contract with the Jays for next season.

One Hit Wonder - Halloween Edition

Bobby 'Boris' Pickett & The Cryptkickers - Monster Mash (1962)

Rocky Horror Picture Show - Time Warp (1975)

My favourite witch, Christine O'Donnell, wishes you a Happy Halloween!

Sign of the day

Man murdered over sex with donkey

A farmer has been arrested for killing a pervert who had sex with his prize donkey — while wearing lingerie and a pair of slippers. Police say Jose Gomes Pinto, 55, slashed the man's throat with a razor after discovering he had violated his favourite ass — a donkey named Russo.

Jaime Pires, 68, was found dead in a pool of blood wearing women's underwear in the village of Proenca-a-Velha, Portugal. Pires was known locally as Jaime Sheep because he regularly had sex with farm animals.

Local newspapers said Pires had started sleeping with animals 12 years ago before moving away. He recently returned to his home village and soon after locals accused him of having sex with chickens. Mayor Francisco Silva said the killing was "sad and regrettable".

He added: "I don't think there is anything behind it other than the animals." Pinto denied murder during an appearance at a court in nearby Idanha-a-Nova. He had earlier told reporters he had been out of the area when Pires was murdered.

I feel sorry for this farmer. The donkey obviously murdered the rapist and then as pay back to the farmer who did nothing to stop the attacks, pins the murder on him. Meanwhile the donkey is partying in the Costa do Sol. Talk about a party animal!


Dog bites flasher

A man who indecently exposed himself to a woman ended up being bitten by her dog.

The victim, aged in her 60s, was walking her pet in Moreton-in-Marsh, Gloucestershire, when she was approached by the flasher. A police spokesman said the man exposed himself and the terrier growled. It then bit him on the upper right arm.

Sgt Ian Dowling, of North Cotswolds police, said the dog seemed "to have acted instinctively". He added: "This was clearly an upsetting incident for the woman and her dog.

"The animal seems to have acted instinctively and was not urged to attack the offender. Naturally because of the nature of the incident, we are keen to hear about anyone seen with a dog bite on his right arm in the last 24 hours."

As they say he who lives by the sword dies by the sword. No doubt the dog thought he was being attacked by a snake and was only acting in self-defense.

Thornhill Woods Haunted House

One of the best Halloween decorated houses I've ever seen is in Thornhill Woods just north of Toronto off Bathurst Street. The Thornhill Woods Haunted House started in 2004 and raises funds for the Sick Kids Foundation. It operates for about a week before Halloween from 6 pm to 9 pm each evening.