Saturday, December 18, 2010

Danish politicians think nude beaches scare off Mulsims


A Danish politician has suggested including more topless women in their tourism videos. Peter Skaarup of the Danish People’s Party believes this will let immigrants know that Denmark is an open, free society and will scare off Islamist extremists.

“Topless bathing probably isn’t a common sight on Pakistani beaches, but in Denmark it is still considered quite normal. I honestly believe that by including a couple of bare breasts in the movie, extremists may have to think twice before deciding to come to Denmark," he said.

A member of the Danish parliament and founder of the Moderate Muslim's Movement has warned that this won't work. He said, "A pair of naked breasts is no protection against extremism. It's quite the opposite, fundamentalists are so obsessed with sex that they will be pouring in over the borders."

Anyone has been to a nude beach will know the ugly truth - they are filled with leathery old Europeans and fat bald hippies from the 60s. You are only going to piss off those extremists who may want to exact revenge. I warned you!



Fight in Ukraine parliament injures 6

A fierce fight in Ukraine's parliament sent at least six lawmakers to the hospital with concussions, a fractured jaw and multiple bruises, setting a new low for the often-tumultuous body.

Ambulances rushed to parliament late Thursday after lawmakers from President Viktor Yanukovych's Party of Regions stormed the parliament podium, which was occupied by opposition allies of former premier Yulia Tymoshenko. The pro-presidential lawmakers threw fists and chairs at their opponents.

Scuffles between lawmakers are frequent in Ukraine, but Thursday's fight was the most violent to date. Parliament Speaker Volodymyr Lytvyn, who hid from flying eggs and smoke bombs behind an umbrella during a fight in April, said Friday it was time to put an end to the mess.

Lytvyn produced iron bars, chains and locks, which he said were brought into the hall Thursday and said some lawmakers even threatened to use the guns that they often bring with them.

Six lawmakers were injured in the fight and four of them were still in the hospital Friday.

Oops, TSA distracted groping crotches and misses 6 inch knife


While the TSA is busy rolling out full-body scanners and groping, pat-down procedures, the agency still hasn't managed to actually stop people from slipping onto airplanes with deadly weapons.

Take for instance the story of Steve, whose 6-inch hunting knife went unnoticed by all involved:


"On my way to Chicago for business this past week the TSA missed the six inch hunting knife in my coat pocket while they busied themselves wanding my crotch and checking my hands for powder residues.

The knife was a gift from an outdoorsman friend and I forgot it was in my jacket pocket. In fact, it was the only thing in my pocket. I came across it when I buckled my seat belt!"


So let this be a lesson to you all. Since the TSA is apparently remiss in doing its job, you will need to pre-screen yourself before boarding the plane.

source

Preloaded phones

Christina Aguilera is a dirtry 30 today



One Hit Wonder

Lipps Inc - Funky Town (1980)

Ugly Christmas sweater week

Friday, December 17, 2010

Woman rips off daughter-in-law's nipple during drunken brawl



44-year-old woman who allegedly ripped her daughter-in-law's nipple off during a drunken argument could be facing criminal charges, the 3rd Judicial District Attorney's Office confirmed on Wednesday. Las Cruces police officers responded to Memorial Medical Center on Sunday morning, when doctors were already in the process of reattaching the nipple to the 30-year-old victim's breast.

It's believed to be the first time a local victim has suffered a body part being torn from them, said Chief Deputy District Attorney Amy Orlando. The victim told officers she, her husband, his mother and one of her husband's friends had spent Saturday night drinking at an apartment in the 1000 block of Idaho Avenue, according to the police report. Sometime after 3 a.m., the victim's husband had started arguing with his mother, and because it was becoming "very intense," the victim went to stand in between the two to separate them.

When the victim began arguing with her 44-year-old mother-in-law, the older woman allegedly "grabbed (the victim's) right breast and began to squeeze and pull on her nipple." The victim yelled to stop, but her mother-in-law allegedly continued to pull until the younger woman began punching her in the face, according to the police report. The victim then told police she threw her mother-in-law into the yard, but the older woman allegedly kicked in the back door and had to be physically removed again. It was when the victim was putting her mother-in-law's belongings in the yard that she felt fluid on her breast and realized there was blood on her shirt.
When she untucked her tank top, her nipple fell on the floor, she told police.

The victim put the nipple in a bag and, after several hours, decided she should go to the emergency room. Police attempted to make contact with the mother-in-law - a convicted felon who spent two and a half years in prison for drug possession and being a habitual offender earlier in the decade - but were unable to immediately find her. The victim later told police she did not want to press charges, but the 3rd Judicial District Attorney's Office could charge the mother-in-law with felony aggravated battery against a household member after the police investigation is over.

This had to have been the mother of all tit twister. But the best line comes from the Chief Deputy DA who states that she believes this is the first time some one has suffered a body part being torn off. Hey no shit! Personally I didn't know they can be ripped off or re-attached.

That's what I call Fire Crotch


“You tend to, like, get upset when somebody trying to harm the family jewels!” laughs Sheldon Gonzalez.

He nearly lost the the family jewels to fire!

The one accused of torching his crotch is his girlfriend Berlinda Dixon-Newbold. In her mug shot, she had a tear in her eye as she booked into the Broward County Jail.

“The bottom of his shirt and his pants were on fire in the crotch area,” said Broward Circuit Judge John Hurley as he began a bond hearing for Newbold.

She’s charged with aggravated assault. The judge said she was lucky not to be charged with arson.

Gonzalez told police the trouble began Tuesday night – he got home late – she needed attention – but he was tired and dosed off on the couch…then – what a rude awakening.

“The flame was right here,” he said, pointing at his crotch. “I just felt the heat in my groin area and I just reacted and she was right over me with…the lighter burning the t-shirt I was wearing. “

“Did you see any fire down there?” asked CBS 4’s Ted Scouten. “Yes,” he said.

One can imagine – Gonzalez moved quickly to douse that burning crotch – and he got the flames out fast.

As for getting back with Berlinda – Gonzalez is ready to douse that flame too…in fact –she’s not even allowed anywhere near him.

source

I want this singing parrot!

It's drunk Santa week

One Hit Wonder

Lou Bega - Mambo No. 5 (1999)

With fans like this who needs cheerleaders

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Canadian federal election likely in 2011


The signs are there for a federal election sometime in 2011, likely after the federal budget scheduled for February or March. It's been 26 months since the last election which ended with similar results to the 2006 election and another minority Conservative Government.

For the past two years the Liberals have kept the current government going but that is likely to end soon. But it appears the Liberal leader Michael Ignatieff is ready to try is wings.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper has been focusing his attention at key swing ridings knowing that fewer than a dozen ridings flipping to the Conservative can mean a majority government. Recent successes in by-elections have reinforced Conservative confidence.

The NDP also appear to be confident going into 2011. With Jack Layton as leader the NDP have gone from 13 seats to 19 seats to 29 seats and then to 37 seats in subsequent elections. The NDP feels that they have the ability to become the Official Opposition but that can only happen if the NDP makes significant inroads in Quebec. Something that has never really happened.

If you look at some recent polls (below) it becomes obvious that the numbers are pretty consistent. In fact they haven't changed must over the past two years if you look at the popular vote in the 2008 election. The fact that there has been little fluctuation in polling suggests that either a lot of people have parked their votes with a particular party until the election is called or there aren't very many undecided voters.

I expect the next election to to deliver another minority Conservative government. There is a great deal of love directed at Harper but there aren't strong alternatives so I don't expect much shifting in voting patterns.



CON LIB NDP BQ GRN
Ipsos/Reid 39% 29% 12% 10% 9%
Harris-Decima 34% 28% 15% 9% 12%
EKOS 34% 29% 14% 10% 10%
Nanos 38% 31% 17% 10% 3%
AVERAGE 36% 29% 14% 10% 8%






2008 Federal Election 38% 26% 18% 10% 7%

Naked mailman arrested with exposed package


A male postal worker was arrested for lewd and lascivious behaviour after walking naked into an office to deliver mail in the 300 block of West Silver Spring Drive, at 1:10 p.m. on Dec. 4. Chris Baltz, manager of the North Shore Post Office, said the matter is being handled internally and the department is working with law enforcement. The employee is not out delivering mail, he said.

According to the police report: The 52-year-old Fox Point man, who was arrested at the North Shore Post Office, 5600 Lydell Ave., on Dec. 9, admitted he had delivered the mail completely naked and that he was sorry and it was a stupid thing to do.

The man said he told a 21-year-old female employee in that office that he would retrieve the mail from the business’ post office box — something the woman usually does — and deliver it to her naked because she seemed “stressed out” and he wanted to “cheer her up and make her laugh.”

He said at that time she made a comment that he took as a dare. The woman denied daring or encouraging him in any way. She told police she did not hear him say he planned to return and deliver the post office box mail naked, but she also said she didn’t think he intended to harm her.

It's drunk Santa week

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Colton Orr delivers for the Maple Leafs


Not everyone sees the value or the importance of having Colton Orr on the Leaf roster. I have seen many in the media criticize Ron Wilson for sitting out many marginal players but dressing Colton Orr for every single game. Although he may only get 5 to 6 minutes of ice time per game and no time on the powerplay or penalty killing units, he still remains an integral part of the team.

Last night’s game was a classic example of the role that Orr plays. Early in the second player, Oiler enforcer Zack Stortini took out Mikhail Grabovski at the knees while he was in full flight. He was assessed a kneeing penalty and fortunately Grabovski was not injured on the play. But he easily could have been lost to the team for the rest of the season. The next time Stortini stepped on the ice so did Orr. Within several seconds of the faceoff, Orr had dropped his gloves and was pummeling Stortini’s face opening up several large gashes. There was a strong message delivered in that altercation. Let’s just say Stortini may be advised to visit a plastic surgeon this week.



The Leafs do not play the Oilers again this season but when they do meet up again, what are the odds Stortini or any other Oiler will be taking liberties with one of the Leafs’ speedy forwards? Not likely. Orr’s teammates and coaches appreciate how he protects the other players. That’s why is penciled on the lineup every game. This is the role Brian Burke envisioned for Orr when he signed him for 4 years. Certainly the cheap shots against Leaf players have dropped off significantly in the past 2 years. Previous enforcers were not as feared or respected as Orr and the Leafs have benefited.

I’m not a Don Cherry disciple and I’m neither pro or anti fighting. There too many gratuitous fights in the NHL which slows down the pace of the game. In some cases they are intended to perhaps change the momentum of a game. But enforcers have an important role to play. They provide much more of a deterrent to cheap shots than any rule change or increase in rule enforcement. I would rather rely on Orr to protect Phil Kessel than the referees and Colin Campbell.

So count me in as a Colton Orr fan.

Sign of the day

Style guide

Houston TV stations refuse PSA on heart disease

According to the Physician's Community for Responsible Medicine, four Houston TV stations have refused to broadcast an ad they made connecting cheeseburgers to heart disease. The ad shows a dead man on a morgue gurney clutching a cheeseburger while his wife sobs over him, but the ending is the best part. The McDonald's golden arches pop-up and a parody of their slogan appears. It reads, "I was lovin' it."



It makes you wonder if the stations were concerned that McDonald's might pull their advertising from their stations in protest of the ad and they would lose a large chunk of money.

Helena Guergis has a baby boy


Former Conservative cabinet minister Helena Guergis gave birth to a healthy baby boy in Ottawa early Wednesday morning.

He weighed seven pounds and seven ounces when he was born at 3:15 a.m.

The first child of Guergis and Rahim Jaffer is named Zavier Rahim Nizarali Guergis Jaffer. However he will go by Harpo in honour of their favourite Prime Minister.

Woman denied workers' comp for injury while having sex


A woman, who suffered a nose injury and damaged teeth during the "moment of passion" in 2007, has had her bid for compensation denied by Australia's Administrative Appeals Tribunal (AAT). She has been told she should have let her employer know she planned to get frisky if she wanted to be able to claim worker's compensation.

Her injuries occurred when a glass light fitting came away from the wall as was having sex with a man.

"It could be that (the applicant), in a moment of passion, reached up and grabbed the light fitting, or it could be that the man banged against it," the women's barrister, Leo Gray, told a hearing last month.

Activities pursued in a hotel room "in the ordinary purview of human life" should be compensatable, he said.

"If it happens at the place the employer has encouraged you to be for the evening, and doesn't involve gross misconduct or self-harm, why shouldn't it be."

But counsel for the work safety agency Comcare told the appeal hearing "a frolic of the applicant's own" could only result in compensation in certain circumstances.

"If it is a quintessentially private activity it is not fair that taxpayers pay for the consequences of that activity," the Canberra Times quoted Andrew Berger as saying.

While sleeping, showering and using the toilet were incidental to work "having sex is a different kettle of fish", he said.

"If they wanted to be protected by worker's compensation they would need to let their employer know."

I really need to know more details of this case to provide an opinion but it sure sounds like they were having rocking sex. I can't believe she didn't have videos of the evening to back up her claim.

source


Bus driver that kills snowman quits

A Champaign-Urbana Mass Transit District bus driver who was caught on video running over a snowman earlier this month has resigned.

CUMTD Assistant Managing Director Tom Costello confirmed that the driver, featured in a YouTube video, was no longer with the company. He could not comment further.



The video, called "Insane Bus Driver Brutally Murders Snowman," was posted on the video uploading site on Dec. 4. The clip shows the bus driver veering into an oncoming traffic lane to run over a snowman built there.

The creators of the video are heard screaming "No!" in the background as the driver approaches.

I don't get it. When I was a kid half the fun in building a snowman was destroying it after you were done. When did knocking over a pile of snow become a moral dilemma? Because if that's the case then some needs to do something about the sun which melts snowmen every day somewhere. So do snowmen become protected species every spring?

It's drunk Santa week

Hump Day Hottie - single again edition


Scarlett Johansson

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Naomi Wolf on rape, justice and Julian Assange

I found the comments by Naomi Wolf regarding the incarceration of Julian Assange interesting. It's really hard to argue against what she is saying. What the Swedish consider to be rape is also hard to fathom.

Never in twenty-three years of reporting on and supporting victims of sexual assault around the world have I ever heard of a case of a man sought by two nations, and held in solitary confinement without bail in advance of being questioned -- for any alleged rape, even the most brutal or easily proven. In terms of a case involving the kinds of ambiguities and complexities of the alleged victims' complaints -- sex that began consensually that allegedly became non-consensual when dispute arose around a condom -- please find me, anywhere in the world, another man in prison today without bail on charges of anything comparable.

Of course 'No means No', even after consent has been given, whether you are male or female; and of course condoms should always be used if agreed upon. As my fifteen-year-old would say: Duh.

But for all the tens of thousands of women who have been kidnapped and raped, raped at gunpoint, gang-raped, raped with sharp objects, beaten and raped, raped as children, raped by acquaintances -- who are still awaiting the least whisper of justice -- the highly unusual reaction of Sweden and Britain to this situation is a slap in the face. It seems to send the message to women in the UK and Sweden that if you ever want anyone to take sex crime against you seriously, you had better be sure the man you accuse of wrongdoing has also happened to embarrass the most powerful government on earth.

source

Sign of the day

It appears Cliff Lee didn't leave that much money on the table


Let's not get to carried away in describing rejection of the Yankee offer by Cliff Lee to sign with the Philadelphia Phillies as some act of martyrdom. The Phillies are guaranteeing Lee $120 million over five years, with the chance to earn another $15 million. The Yankees offered $132 million for six years, though Lee could have picked up his seventh year option for $16 million.

Under the Phillies deal, he could make a lot more money in year six if things go well for him than he would have if he took the Yankees’ deal, for he will be a free agent in year six rather than be “stuck” with a $22 million one-year deal. Lee is counting on having better numbers in the NL as was the case for Halladay which could help to make his Phillies deal pay off.

Face it, either way he is a rich man.

Have you met Mr. Blow Up?

He is a UK man who likes inflatable latex clothes.

It's drunk Santa week

Monday, December 13, 2010

The truth about women

Tefillin bomb scare


A religiously devout Israeli tourist sparked a bomb scare on a New Zealand ferry when he strapped boxes to himself as part of a Jewish prayer ritual, reports said Monday.

Armed counter-terrorism police met the ferry at Picton, on the South Island, and forced the man and his travelling companion to the ground before taking them away for questioning, the Dominion Post newspaper reported.

It said the incident Sunday occurred when the man began carrying out a Jewish ritual where small leather boxes called tefillin, containing religious verses, are strapped to the arm and forehead.

Ferry operator Kiwirail said staff on the vessel, which had 750 passengers aboard, were concerned about a possible bomb threat and contacted police before it docked.

"One individual had two boxes attached, one box taped to his leg and one box seemingly taped to his forehead... there were what seemed to be wires attached to them," Kiwirail spokesman Kevin Ramshaw told national news agency NZPA.

New Zealand Race Relations Commissioner Joris de Bres said the armed response was unfortunate and showed "an exaggerated fear of terrorism" in the country.

source

Sign of the day

Metrodome roof collapses

Great video but who had a camera running in an empty stadium unless they knew the roof was going to give. After all it's not the first time.


Man castrates teenage daughter's 57-year-old boyfriend



Helmut Seifert, 47, an ethnic German originally from Russia, was enraged when he heard his 17-year-old daughter was having a relationship with Phillip Genscher, 57.

He went to police in the town of Bielefeld where he lives but officers said they were powerless to intervene.

"The man then recruited two work colleagues at his factory and then went to the house of the victim," said police.

"The man was forced to remove his trousers and, fully conscious, he was castrated with a bread knife. The severed testicles were taken away by the perpetrator."

The man was close to bleeding to death but managed to call police. His life was saved but he remains a eunuch for life.

Seifert pleaded guilty and will be on trial for attempted murder next year. But he has remained silent on who his accomplices were.

He told police: "I received a phone call anonymously that my daughter was involved with a guy 40 years older than her. You said you couldn't stop him – so I did.

"I saw it as my duty as a father."

This is a guy right out of the Charles Bronson vigilante model. Do not mess with him. If you cross him and especially if you mess with his daughter your balls will be hanging from his mantle. How many pairs of testicles are hanging on display for potential suitors.

source

It's drunk Santa week

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Jennifer Connelly is 40 today

Jennifer in the 1990 film Hot Spot



Jennifer in the 1991 film Career Opportunities



In the 2000 film Requiem For A Dream



In the 2003 film House Of Fog And Sand

Sign of the day

Must be winter

Israel

Soldier Field, Chicago


my house

Further proof our society is crumbling

Teen on Maury declares her idol is Snooki. Of course Snooki is the nickname for Nicole Polizzi, one of the obnoxious members of the Jersey Shore cast.


Fired Santa is working again.


The story the other day about a San Francisco Macy's kicked its long-time Santa to the curb after he made a slightly off-color comment to some adult shoppers has a happy ending. No not that type of happy ending. Well it looks like at least someone in the Bay Area has the holiday spirit, because Santa has found new employment where he won't have to worry about saying something inappropriate.

The San Francisco Santa will be hearing the tipsy wish lists of patrons at Lefty O'Doul's sports bar, right around the corner from the Macy's that sent Santa packing to the North Pole.

His lame joke that he has been using for 20 years will be acceptable at Lefty O'Doul's.

source

Grade in bowling class wll determine basketball player's eligibility to play


After transferring from Marquette to Tennessee in December, 2009, forward Jeronne Maymon had to sit out one year before he was eligible to play for the Volunteers. With the year just about up, one thing is preventing Maymon from making his debut on Saturday against Pittsburgh:

A passing grade in a bowling class he took during fall semester, one of the five classes Maymon was enrolled in.

Unfortunately, his grade in the class PYED206 (Description: “Introduction to ball selection, approach, spot bowling, rules, scoring, etiquette, and basic terminology necessary for enjoyable recreational bowling.”), has not yet been posted.

In case you are wondering in addition to the bowling elective Maymon took two psychology classes, a communications class and a musicology class.

Well we know how well prepared Jeronne will be for the working world with this impressive course load. He will also be the most sought after free agent in the Detroit area bowling league. By the way that is not a bowling ball he is holding.

source

I want this anteater!

One Hit Wonder

Nik Kershaw - Wouldn't It Be Good (1984)

Samantha Spiegel is a killer groupie


Samantha Spiegel, 19, is a San Francisco art student and penpal to famous serial killers and murderers. According to Spiegel, she was formerly engaged to John Mark Karr, who falsely confessed to killing JonBenét Ramsey. But they've split.

She's hoping to receive responses to letters she sent to three men: Charles Manson, the leader of the Manson Family cult who was found guilty of conspiring to murder; Richard Ramirez (the Night Stalker), a serial killer and rapist on death row at San Quentin; and Richard Allen Davis, also on death row for the 1993 kidnapping and murder of 12-year-old Polly Klaas.

She certainly isn't alone. Every year, hundreds of letters from adoring women, aka killer groupies, slip through prison bars; some even contain marriage proposals.

he craves attention from famous killers, from her friends and relatives, from the world. She wants to be our cherry bomb, and in attaching herself to Karr, then landing on The Today Show, she has figured out a way to do that.




source

It's drunk Santa week