Saturday, April 09, 2011

Sign of the day

Cop uses paper spray to defend against baby squirrel

While the video of a police officer using pepper spray on a baby squirrel has shocked some, the Mesquite Police Department is defending the officer's actions. According MPD Sgt. Wes Talley, a baby squirrel began chasing students around outside at Kimbrough Middle School on Wednesday afternoon.

The school resource officer was called to help. Officer Davis stood between a group of students and the animal because it was acting unusual and he thought it may have been rabid, Talley said.

Talley said after several unsuccessful attempts to scare the squirrel away, Officer Davis used his pepper spray on it to protect the welfare of the students. But the students didn’t see it that way. They claimed the animal wasn't a threat to anyone.

This officer is likely up for some merit citation for defending a school full of children entirely on his own against a ferocious baby squirrel. I'm sure after 20 hours of counseling he'll be fine to hit the streets again to defend the community from criminals and other baby rodents. We love you Officer Davis!

Thursday, April 07, 2011

Donald Trump tied for 2nd among Republican candidates

It's still early but a new NBC News/Wall Street Journal Poll shows how shallow Americans can be when it comes to politics. The poll indicates that Donald Trump is tied for second place among potential Republican presidential candidates.

Now Trump isn't a candidate yet. He's reality TV show Celebrity Apprentice is currently running on NBC and he can't be on TV and run for president but the show wraps in May.

So far it looks like Trump is a single issue candidate as he continues to chirp about President Obama's birthplace. You begin to wonder will his pitch to the electorate be - vote for me because I'm a Christian born in New York and the other guy is a Muslim born in Africa?

Trump claims to have sent a team of his own investigators to Hawaii in hopes of getting to the bottom of the issue. Oh and he's providing copies of his own authentic birth certificate.

One Hit Wonder

Minnie Ripperton - Lovin You (1975)

How the Maple Leafs will be getting around this spring

Sign of the day

What to know how to silence David Letterman?

...try flashing your boobs.

This was a little less subtle but also worked.

Man to go 46 days with just beer

For the 46 days of Lent, J. Wilson is forgoing solid food and only drinking beer and water - just as Bavarian monks did hundreds of years ago.

Wilson is a husband, father, newspaper editor and beer enthusiast. The 38-year-old is the proprietor of the beer blog brewvana, where the motto is, "An ideal condition of harmony, beer and joy."

"That pretty much sums up our lifestyle," Wilson told CNN.

Wilson is not a suds-soaked frat boy, but a careful home brewer with an eye for history and a hope for a spiritual breakthrough.

He is a nondenominational Christian who said he doesn't like to get hung up on religious labels.

He is practicing a Lenten fast with Christians throughout the centuries who typically give something up from Ash Wednesday to Easter Sunday (April 24 this year) to remind them of the sacrifice they believe Jesus made on the cross for them. Typically, Christians give up something such as alcohol or sweets.

Wilson knows his sacrifice is bit extreme. He said his wife, Michelle, has been completely supportive. In his experiments as a home brewer in Iowa, he said Michelle "puts up with a yeast blow up on the ceiling."

There are doctor's visits during the fast, and he did copious research before he began. He even bulked up beforehand, knowing he would lose weight. "I wasn't running into this half-cocked," he said. "I didn't wake up on Ash Wednesday and think, 'Wow this would be a great idea.' "

Hey what a good Christian. Wilson has inspired me to go the 8 days of Passover on just matzo ball soup. Isn't that what the Israelites lived off of for 40 years while they wandered in the desert? I think it rained chicken soup and matzo balls every day. You know why it took 40 years to get from Egypt to the Promised Land? Moses refused to ask for direction. The whole time Miriam is yelling at him, "Moses ask for directions already!"


Red Sox are 0-6, fans jumping off Hancock Tower

The Red Sox are off to their worst start since 1945. You would think $162 million would have bought them a win by now. Crying shame unless you are the a member of the "low expectation" Blue Jays looking for an opportunity to qualify for the post season for the first time since 1993.

Yeah yeah it's still early.

Growing old gracefully Week

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Sign of the day

Man charged afer barking at police dog

Police say an Ohio man has been charged with a misdemeanor for barking at a police dog.

A police report says 25-year-old Ryan James Stephens was charged with teasing a police dog in the Cincinnati suburb of Mason.

Officer Bradley Walker wrote that he heard the K9 dog barking uncontrollably inside his patrol car while he was investigating a car crash at a pub early Sunday morning. Walker says Stephens was making barking noises and hissing at the animal.

Walker reported that Stephens said "the dog started it" when asked why he was harassing the animal. The officer said Stephens appeared highly intoxicated.

Obviously police dogs are just like cops, on a power trip. You try to have a civilized discussion with a police dog and erodes into an argument. Then next thing you know you're being charged. I think the SIU needs to be called in on this one.

Hey the Blue Jays are doing as well as the anoited World Series Champions

Damn I was pretty sure from all the hype coming out of Philadelphia that the Phillies were going to win all 162 games this season then sweep the playoffs and World Series. After all they own the greatest pitching rotation ever to be assembled in the history of baseball. I thought the only reason to play out the season what to select an American League Champion to be slaughtered by the Phillies juggernaut.

Then I noticed that not even a week into the season the Phillies had lost a game. What's with that? In fact the Jays have the same record as the Phillies (4-1) and just about every baseball expert was picking Toronto to finish 4th in the AL East. The only misstep by the Jays was a Jo-Jo Reyes start that was almost salvaged by the bullpen. Besides Reyes was just filling in for Brandon Morrow who gets a rehab start tomorrow in the minors.

What are the ERAs of the greatest collection of arms in the world?

Roy Halladay ($20 million) - 1.50
Cliff Lee ($11 million) - 3.86
Roy Oswalt ($16 million) - 3.00
Cole Hamels ($9.5 million) - 20.25
Joe Blanton ($10.5 million) - 14.54

Sure it's early in the season. But guess what? Even though these pitcher are paid $67 million they are still human.

As for the Blue Jay starting staff, the aggregate salary is $5.0 million. That would buy you just 8 Roy Halladay starts.

Election Update: Harper again is avoid the press

To put it bluntly Prime Minister Harper has little use for the media if it isn't there to communicate the Conservative party's message. As I recall, during the last election campaign Harper only provided interviews to media outlets considered friendly to the Conservatives. This time around he has a new twist to contemptuous relations with the media - he is limiting them to only five questions per day. How party for Harper to show his arrogant contempt of public scrutiny, transparency, and accountability?

By the way the subject of any of those five questions cannot pertain to why he will only answer five media questions per day as this humorous video reveals.

Growing old gracefully Week

Hump Day Hottie

Allison Brie

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

This is what we looked like the last time the Maple Leafs won the Stanley Cup

Yes paisley shirts were all the rage back in 1967.

All in the eyes of the beholder

Sign of the day

The secret behind Donald Trump's hair

Thanks to the miracle of harsh lighting, the photo appears to reveal one of Trump’s most tightly-held secrets. Look closely. See the cross-hatching in Trump’s hair?


My baldly-stated thesis: this could be evidence of a rarely-sighted, possibly unprecedented “double comb-over.” It looks as if a length of hair growing from the part on the left side of Trump’s pate has been combed left-to-right over the crown of his head, while a second length of hair, growing from the back of his head, has been combed back-to-front over the first length of hair. Salon-strength hair products likely play a role in the final construction of this lattice-like structure—which could also explain the “ship’s prow” look one sometimes sees in side views of Trump.

Thank you Vanity Fair for uncovering one of the best kept secrets in the world. This is up there with what really happened at Rosewell, New Mexico and the formula for Coca-Cola. But even if VF is wrong, there is still a chance of finding out about Trump's hair. If he gets voted in as President then the truth could be access through a Freedom of Information request. Unless it's determined to be classified information.


Who knew teen pregnancy could be so lucrative?

In this July 25, 2009, photo, former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol Palin holds her and Levi Johnston's son Tripp Johnston at the governor's picnic in Anchorage, Alaska. Tax documents show unwed mother Bristol Palin earned more than $262,000 for her role helping raise awareness for teen pregnancy prevention in 2009. The most recent data for The Candie’s Foundation that’s posted online by research firm GuideStar shows compensation at $262,500 for the now-20-year-old daughter of former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, the 2008 Republican vice presidential nominee.


Russian children's programming provides more jiggle

Wow! Can you see this singer on Sesame Street dancing with Kermit? She would knock poor Kermit flying if he got in the way of one of her breasts. So obviously the Russians have no hangups when it comes to entertainers with huge breasts, no bra, a slitted skirt up to her crotch and a pierced tongue on children's shows. Wonder what the Russian porn channels are like?

Growing old gracefully Week

The latest device to make you feel better while riding the subway

From the Products We Don't Need file comes Metro Mitt, a little plastic bag for you to put over your hands while holding the pole in the subway. It's supposed to make your commute more sanitary. God, this thing is stupid.

Yes, the subway is a filthy place, but a little piece of plastic over your manicured fingers isn't going to help. After all, you're probably sitting in a seat that a bum peed on and standing on a floor that has been covered in every substance from spilled coffee to drunk sorority girl vomit (especially on the 6!). Also, you are standing cheek to jowl (that is your ass cheek to some fat guy's jowl) with humanity. You're sharing air and germs and microbes. There is no way around this. If you think a little plastic glove (or even a surgical mask) is going to help you, then you're seriously deluded. The only way you're going to escape the filth is to not take the subway, and who can afford that?


Woman driver plunges 6 stories in her car

A driver in Melbourne, Australia has survived a six-storey plunge from a Melbourne car park yesterday with only a gash to her head, with her car landing on its side wedged tight between two walls. The woman was trapped in the car for more than 30 minutes after somehow driving through a safety railing on the sixth level of the car park.

The car landed on the passenger side in a laneway, with only 30cm on either side. "She was in her seat and supporting herself so she didn't fall down in the car," Ambulance Victoria spokesman Paul Bentley said. The woman, aged in her 40s, was taken to hospital with a severe cut to her head but no other apparent injuries.

Police said the station-wagon hit the wall of an adjoining building before it fell to the ground, which may explain why she survived. "We believe the car has hit the side of the building before falling to the ground," Acting Senior Sergeant John Mason said.

Police aren't sure how the woman came to drive over the edge of the car park, at the intersection of Franklin and Anthony streets on the edge of the CBD, just before 9am yesterday.

There is nothing more dangerous than a woman trying to park a car. Time and time again they leave a trail of destruction trying to get that SUV into a neat tidy parking spot. At the moment of truth they are unable to differentiate between a brake and accelerate pedal, forward and reverse, left and right.

I want this narcoplectic cat

Teacher tapes student's mouth shut for talking

The mother of a Broward middle school student is upset after her 13-year-old daughter told her a teacher placed tape over her mouth. "I came home from a hard day's work to hear that my daughter had her mouth taped up unwillingly," said Leah Freel.

She said on Thursday her teacher placed tape over her mouth. "She asked me to stop talking, and then a couple minutes went by, and I started to talk again, and she came to me and put it on my mouth," Jazlyn said. "I had to cough, so I took the first piece off, so she went into her desk, and she took another piece out, and she put it on my mouth again."

Jazlyn said the teacher also taped another student's mouth, and they went to an administrator. According to the 13-year-old student, the teacher "told me to keep the tape on my mouth, and she told me that what happened in her classroom stayed in her classroom, and it was just a joke."

Leah said she went to the school and was told that the teacher would be reassigned.

Okay, I understand you can't have teachers disciplining students in this manner but you have to feel for these teachers. That kids seems like the biggest snot. Many teachers today feel they are under siege. Doesn't this empower Jazlyn to continue talking in class?

Sunday, April 03, 2011

Yoga must be very popular

First cell phone call was 38 years ago today

On April 3rd, 1973, 38 years ago today, Martin Cooper with Motorola made a phone call while walking down the street in New York City.

The call was not to another cell phone since no one else had a cell phone. It was to a land line — specifically, to the land line of his chief competitor at Bell Labs. Cooper, you might say, rubbed it in.

That first cell phone was so big that it was often described as resembling a shoe, or a brick. It weighed 2½ pounds.

What can you get for $700/month in Manhatten? - 90 sq. ft.

Felice Cohen's Manhattan studio is all of 90 square feet, and she seems to have plenty of room for all the necessities. She provides you with a tour of her place in a video from faircompanies. It surprising takes 5 minutes for a virtual tour. Well Felice is certainly not a pack rat. Gawker is duly impressed. The rent, by the way, is a bit over $700. Highlights of her Upper West Side space: no kitchen, a loft bed whose ceiling is 23 inches from her face (gave her panic attacks when she first moved in), and a toilet that she sits sideways on.

Damn it, it's April 3rd and it snowed tonight

Sign of the day

Coke vs. Pepsi

Doris Day (Doris Mary Ann Kappelhoff) is 89 today

Day sings The Windy City from the 1953 musical Calamity Jane

Day sings Que Sear Seara introduced in Alfred Hitchcock's 1956 film The Man Who Knew Too Much

With Rock Hudson in the 1959 film Pillow Talk

Growing old gracefully Week