Saturday, May 28, 2011

Canadian Supreme Court clarifies rules regarding consensual sex

The Supreme Court has ruled that an unconscious woman can't give consent to sex. In a 6-3 decision Friday, the court restored the sexual-assault conviction of a man who performed an unwanted sex act on his female partner in 2007.

Maybe I've been married so long I'm out of touch with the sex thing. How would someone unconscious provide consent to sex or just about anything else? In fact three judges actually disagreed with the majority. So does that mean if they passed out at a party and woke up with me shoving a sex toy up their ass they would think that was cool?

There people who think The Onion is a real news website

Literally Unbelievable is a blog that reposts Facebook updates from people who think The Onion stories are real. Yup hard to believe. My favourite is how Obama has urges to launch a nuclear attack.

Jose Bautista blasts homer #20

Jose Bautista connected for his major league-leading 20th home run and the Toronto Blue Jays beat the Chicago White Sox 9-8 today. They needed 14 innings and a Corey Patterson walkoff homer to do it.

Seems there are some Bautista haters out there. How else would you explain my poll to the right where some people have been predicting that Bautista would not hit 20 home runs this season. People he is the best hitter in baseball and he's not on your team. Deal with it.

His home run today puts him on pace to hit 70 for the season. Not likely to happen though everyone predicted he couldn't hit 50 home runs last season. He is doing with very little protection from the Jays' batting order. He is the number 3 hitter but Blue Jays have no real clean up hitter behind him after dealing away Vernon Wells. He hitting home runs at an astounding clip of one every 7.68 at-bats.

So all you Bautista haters - deal with it.

More garden pictures

Bathroom etiquette

Fuck off Kerry Fraser Day

Yesterday was the 18th anniversary of the infamous non-call by Kerry Fraser. In game 6 of the playoff series between Toronto and Los Angeles, Wayne Gretzky high-sticks Doug Gilmour. The rulebook says it's an automatic five and a game, Fraser and his linesmen huddle up and then decide that nobody saw anything, and Gretzky scores the OT winner seconds later. Years later, Fraser finally came clean to the Toronto Sun and admitted that he blew the call. He claims he was blocked out on the play but the video below shows that he did have a clear view.

The Leafs were leading the series 3-2, and were a win away from meeting the Montreal Canadiens in the Stanley Cup final. Wendel Clark was a dominant force in the series. In that 6th game he had a hat trick including the tying goal in the 3rd period with the goalie pulled.

Then came the infamous non-call. The Leafs might have very well beaten the Canadiens but for Kerry Fraser. It may very well have been the only Maple Leaf Stanley Cup win I would have witnessed as an adult. I was just a kid when the Leafs won in the 1960s. I have the sick feeling that the Leafs will not get to a Cup final in my remaining life. I still feel robbed to this very day.

Celebrities when they had hair Week

School principal under investigation over birthday "spankings"

Linn County authorities are investigating complaints that a Mount Vernon elementary school principal used a padded hockey stick to deliver birthday spankings to his students.

Complaints about Principal Terry Eisenbarth’s birthday “whammies” at Washington Elementary School also are under review by school board members.

“I do not spank my kids at home on their birthdays,” said Steve Wernimont, 44, who has three children. “That is not a celebration. It’s being subservient to a dominating figure.”

Wernimont and his husband, Ric Turnquist, said their three children, ages 9, 8, and 7, received birthday whammies last fall. The children didn’t acknowledge the spankings until this month, when Wernimont said he heard about the practice and asked them about it.

The older children didn’t seem to mind, but the 7-year-old boy, who has post-traumatic stress disorder and other emotional problems, “did not like it one bit,” Wernimont said.

The couple said they complained to police and the school board only after Superintendent Pamela Ewell did not respond to an e-mail for several days.

In a letter to parents, Eisenbarth described the “pat on the backside” as a birthday tradition. He celebrated each child’s birthday with an announcement on the school intercom, followed by an invitation to the principal’s office.

OMG talk about creepy. He should be hiring escorts to live out his sick fantasies instead of involving his students. At least that's why Elliot Spitzer did.


Man caught smuggling 88 lbs of cooked sheep meat with gravy

US Customs and Border Protection agriculture specialists found 88 pounds of cooked sheep meat in luggage carried by an Ethiopian passenger at Dulles Airport.

Federal law restricts the importation of animal products from countries known to have certain exotic foreign animal diseases, such as Foot and Mouth, and African and Classical Swine fevers. The sheep meat was cooked in red gravy and stored in 15 bags inside the passenger's six pieces of luggage.

"Customs and Border Protection agriculture specialists typically encounter similar food products arriving from Africa, but the sheer volume makes this an extraordinarily unique seizure," Christopher Hess, CBP Port Director for the Port of Washington, said. "That's an awful lot of food product to stuff inside one's baggage."

The passenger was en route to Seattle when he was referred to an agriculture inspection. The passenger had declared possessing food products in his baggage. The passenger to continue his flight to Seattle. The sheep meat was incinerated.

I posted this news item because it's about the grossest thing I've ever seen. The meat is cooked but still how long would it have remained unrefrigerated? And I have to admit I can relate to this story. My parents used to go down to Florida for a month or two in the winter and pack in their bags roasted whole chickens. Like you can find roasted Kosher chickens in Miami.

Man sues florist over rose thorn prick

A Lake Mary man is suing Winn-Dixie Stores and a flower importer for a finger prick caused by rose thorn. Charles Imwalle filed a lawsuit on Monday against Winn-Dixie and Passion Growers LLC and is seeking $15,000 in damages.

Imwalle, 41, claims he suffered pain, disfigurement, medical bills and lost wages after pricking his finger on a thorn from a bouquet of roses he purchased for his wife to celebrate their anniversary. Before he was able to hand the roses to his wife, a thorn pricked his right hand, underneath the joint of his index finger.

Imwalle's lawyer, Paul Thompson, released a statement describing what happened next: "Over the next 24 hours, Mr. Imwalle’s hand began to swell and the pain became so excruciating he could not use it. On presentation to the emergency room at Florida Hospital Altamonte, his hand was 3 times its normal size. He was transported to Florida Hospital Orlando for an infectious disease consult and was ultimately taken to surgery where his hand was lanced and a PICC line placed through which he would receive intravenous antibiotics over the next thirty (30) days.

Mr. Imwalle was unable to work for two months, had lost full use of his hand and has suffered significant scarring and disfigurement. His medical expenses exceeded $45,000.00 and he sustained a job-related economic loss of more than $5,500.00. Both Winn-Dixie and Passion Growers have denied liability for what doctors confirm was an infection caused by bacteria transmitted through the puncture wound caused by the thorn." The lawsuit is based on the premise that the injuries could have been avoided by better wrapping the thorns with a protective wrap, or simply removing the thorns as many florists do.


Friday, May 27, 2011

Horses get sick so rodeo uses stick ponies

A deadly strain of a fast-spreading horse virus that's shown up in nine Western states — where cases have doubled in the last week — has forced contestants vying for the title of "posse junior queen" in one Utah county to ride stick horses to demonstrate their cowgirl skills.

Use of the pretend horses, made of straight sticks and fabric horse heads, comes as some other horse events scheduled for the Memorial Day weekend in Utah have been cancelled. The outbreak of the equine herpes virus, which is highly contagious among horses, started at an Ogden, Utah, horse show earlier this month.

Potential posse junior queens were asked to trot around with the stick horses as a test of whether they knew the routine, which is usually performed by the show horse, former queen Savanna Steed told the Salt Lake City television station.

Not much is more pathetic than watching these prance girls around the field pretending to be on a real horse. Hey and it's a lot more work because you have to be doing all the work for your horse. Isn't that taking care of a doll instead of a real baby. And I remember when I was a kid I used to pretend to smoke candy cigarettes. But never in front of an audience.


A degree about nothing

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Celebrities when they had hair Week

Lawyer accused of using assistant with big boobs to distract jury

Objecting your honor! Counsel's cleavage is showing.

A Chicago lawyer is saying his opponent in a small claims case is using his paralegal's large breasts to distract the jury.

Attorney Thomas Gooch, who is representing a car dealership, filed a motion last week asking Judge Anita Rivkin-Carothers to force the opposing lawyer's buxom assistant to sit in the audience, rather than at the plaintiff's table.

Gooch said lawyer Dmitry N. Feofanov is using brunette beauty Daniella Atencia "to draw the attention of the jury away from the relevant proceedings."

Feofanov has slammed Gooch for sexism, insisting that his stunning sidekick is his paralegal assistant, and he needs her at his table.

Gooch said he wasn't carping about Atencia's d├ęcolletage - he just doesn't think she's a real paralegal, the Chicago Daily Law Bulletin reported.

"Personally, I like large breasts," he said. "However, I object to somebody I don't think is a qualified paralegal sitting at the counsel table -- when there's already two lawyers there -- dressed in such a fashion as to call attention to herself."

Gooch said he has faced off with Feofanov outside the court before, and arbitrators asked Atencia to leave.

Feofanov said he's got paperwork to prove she's legit.

She's been paid for paralegal services - at a whopping $115 an hour - in two court orders by judges before.

But Gooch said she's bogus.

"That's not a qualification," Gooch said. "That means Dmitry handed up a bill to a judge that said 'paralegal' on it."


Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Mom leaves 9-month-old baby at home to go bowling

She scored a perfect 300 in the bad mother competition.

A Florida woman was arrested for leaving her 9-month-old baby home alone while she went out bowling, police say.

Leah June Rabon, 20, of Pensacola allegedly left her son alone for two hours Monday while she went out on a date at a local alley.

Sheriff's deputies went to Rabon's apartment after receiving an anonymous call about an unattended child.

Officers tracked down Rabon's cell phone number and when they called her, she admitted leaving her son alone.


Celebrities when they had hair Week

Hump Day Hottie - Stanley Cup edition

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Robert Zimmerman is 70

Opps wrong date for the Apocalypse

Did I say the world would end on May 21? Oops I meant October 21. Hope you didn't do anything drastic like give away your savings or tell your boss to fuck off.

You know how the Maple Leafs give you a tease every spring? They play like crap for 50 games and then suddenly look good for the last 30. They miss out on the playoffs but get you believing they will be contenders the following season. Then they suck again in the fall. Well that is Harold Camping more or less. He gets you worked up but nothing really changes.

Leaf fans were not fooled Mr. Camping.

Woman assaulted after ridiculing boyfriend's small penis

An Israeli woman was badly beaten by her 23-year-old boyfriend after ridiculing his penis size in front of his friends. The suspect has been detained but denies the charges against him. After being questioned by police officers, the woman told them she met her boyfriend several weeks ago. She said that he was infuriated after she made fun of his penis size, arrived at her home and assaulted her. According to the woman’s account, the man punched her, pulled her hair, brought her down to the ground and kicked her. As result, she suffered serious bruises and eventually headed to hospital after the pain became unbearable.

Okay they say size doesn't matter. Well then why is it that woman make fun of small penis size? Listen would you rather be munching on a small gherhkin or a big kosher dill? I'm reaching for the fat juicy dill every time.


Baby put up for auction on eBay

A dopey Michigan teen got a visit from cops after posting a gag ad on eBay offering her 2-year-old cousin up for sale.

Police in Allendale, near Grand Rapids, said they received several calls about the posting - including from a person who made a bid of $1,000 thinking it was a hoax.

The bidder told authorities they were surprised when their bid was accepted, and immediately called police to try to get the listing taken down.

Autumn Braden, 19, said she was just bored while baby-sitting, "It was just a joke, that's all, you are all taking it way too seriously and blowing it way out of proportion."

"I was just trying to see how this 'reserve met' thing works and...I thought well wouldn't it be funny, seeing as I have all these pictures of her on my computer to put her on there.

Who sells a baby on eBay? Anyone knows the best way to sell a baby in on Craigslist. Autumn is strictly an amateur.


Couple sentenced to stand in kiddie pool wearing life vests

Painesville Municipal Court Judge Michael Ciccconetti sentenced Grace Nash, 20, of Thompson, and Bruce Crawford, 22, of Chardon, for misconduct during an emergency.

Police said the two were on a raft in the Grand River without life vests during severe flood conditions. Witnesses called police after seeing the duo get washed away in the current.

Rescue crews were called and started searching the area. But Nash and Crawford had managed to get safely out of the river. When rescue crews found them, the report says, they lied about being swept away. So, search crews continued to look for hours.

It was eventually determined that they were safe and authorities were notified to call off the search.

Cicconetti gave the couple two options: go to jail or face a public and embarassing punishment. They chose the latter.

Nash and Crawford will stand in a wading pool, in bathing suits and life vests, from 3 p.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday, handing out water safety literature at the International Cuisine event at Veterans Park.


Celebrities when they had hair Week

Monday, May 23, 2011

One Hit Wonder

Debby Boone - You Light Up My Life (1977)

The number 1 song of the 1970s.

I hate dandelions

Ontario banned the cosmetic use of pesticides and herbicides in May, 2009. I know this is a good thing and makes for a healthier environment but dandelions have taken over the province. In fact you could say that the provincial flower, the trillium, has been replaced.

I found that many people were happy with applying a herbicide to fight against the dandelion invasion each spring. However they are not nearly as eager to spend hours pulling weeds. So instead many people have conceded the battle and allowed dandelions to take over their property. Each spring white clouds of dandelion seeds drift through my neighbourhood spreading those ugly yellow flowers.

The worst offenders have to be neighbourhood parks and other publically own land. The municipalities should be required to eliminate this nuisance instead of spreading it through the neighbourhood.

Damn it I hate dandelions!

Curb Your Enthusiasm returns for Season 8 in July

Toronto couple raising baby without revealing gender

“So it’s a boy, right?” a neighbour calls out as Kathy Witterick walks by, her four month old baby, Storm, strapped to her chest in a carrier. The neighbours know Witterick and her husband, David Stocker, are raising a genderless baby. But they don’t pretend to understand it.

While there’s nothing ambiguous about Storm’s genitalia, they aren’t telling anyone whether their third child is a boy or a girl.

The only people who know are Storm’s brothers, Jazz, 5, and Kio, 2, a close family friend and the two midwives who helped deliver the baby in a birthing pool at their Toronto home on New Year’s Day.

When Storm was born, the couple sent an email to friends and family: “We've decided not to share Storm's sex for now — a tribute to freedom and choice in place of limitation, a stand up to what the world could become in Storm's lifetime (a more progressive place? ...).”

Witterick and Stocker believe they are giving their children the freedom to choose who they want to be, unconstrained by social norms about males and females. Some say their choice is alienating.

In an age where helicopter parents hover nervously over their kids micromanaging their lives, and tiger moms ferociously push their progeny to get into Harvard, Stocker, 39, and Witterick, 38, believe kids can make meaningful decisions for themselves from a very early age.

Stocker teaches at City View Alternative, a tiny school west of Dufferin Grove Park, with four teachers and about 60 Grade 7 and 8 students whose lessons are framed by social-justice issues around class, race and gender.

First thing, that baby is definitely a boy. There is an outside chance that the baby is an ugly girl. Now to the wonderful parents Kathy and David. Toronto has its share of granola-eating, alternative-schooling, bicycle-riding, wild flower-gardening families. They are mostly harmless. Yes the helicopter parents are annoying and produce even more annoying children. But equally annoying are parents who let their kids make all their own decisions. My favorite is American Alpine skier Picabo Street. Picabo's parents decided to let Picabo choose her own name when she was old enough so for the first two years of her life, she was called "Little Girl." When Picabo was two, her mother took her to get a US passport for a trip to Mexico. The passport office wouldn't accept "Little Girl" as her daughter's first name and told her she had two weeks to give her a real name. So, Stubby and Dee named their daughter Picabo (after a small village in Idaho.) When she was four, Picabo's parents said she could change her name but she decided to keep it.


Sign of the day

Finally someone who admits their stupid

Celebrities when they had hair Week

President Obama's limo gets stuck

US president Barack Obama had to abandon his armoured limousine, nicknamed The Beast, after it became stuck leaving the US embassy in Dublin. A bang was heard as the car hit a ramp at the embassy, before a bus was parked in front to block the view.

The Cadillac, specially built for Mr Obama by General Motors, has reinforced tires and its own oxygen supply.

The US president and first lady Michelle Obama stayed in the car while police officers rushed over to the stricken vehicle. The pair switched to another vehicle to drive to the Marine One helicopter that was to carry them to the next stage of their visit.

Footage of The Beast struggling to execute a three-point turn in Downing Street was a viral hit back in 2009.

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