Saturday, July 02, 2011

How can you possibly be hit by lightning 6 times?

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I'm sorry but you have to be doing something wrong to be hit by lightning this many times. After the second or third time I wouldn't dare step out doors at all if there was a cloud in the sky let alone lightning. With his run of luck walking outside during an electrical storm is like walking in the middle of the highway daring the cars to hit you.

Police apprehend carjacking raccoons

Masked robbers in the form of two young raccoons had to be arrested by police after they hijacked a German motorists car.

Driver Sebastian Fuchs, 38, and his wife Maria had been driving along the road between Velbert and Langenberg when they spotted the two raccoons standing in the middle-of-the-road.

The driver braked and despite flashing his lights and hitting the horn the two raccoons continued to sit in the middle-of-the-road.

In order to get them to move the driver climbed out of the car at which point the two raccoons suddenly leapt into action – dashing past the driver and climbing into the car through the drivers open door.

The man's terrified wife leapt out the other side and the pair could only watch as the two raccoons ransacked the car – stealing sandwiches and ripping open packets from shopping bags on the backseat.

A spokesman for the local police station in Mettmann said: "The man called to say his car had been taken over by two raccoons. When we got there the two raccoons that seem to have no fear of people had devastated the interior of the car. They had ripped open packets of crisps and bitten upholstery and then fallen asleep at the scene of the crime."

They were taken into custody using a police baton and a bright yellow safety vest – although there were only held for as long as it took to drive them 400 metres down the road and release them in the wood.


Friday, July 01, 2011

Burglars end up having sex during break in

A man wearing only a rain coat was taken into police custody after a garage burglary and sexual encounter on Sunday.

The Jefferson County Sheriff's Department said the man and a woman were in the process of burglarizing the garage on Glade Chapel Road, in Hillsboro, when they decided to have sex. While having sex, the woman sprayed the man with pepper spray.

Investigators said the woman ran off and drove the suspect's vehicle into a pond about two miles from the burglary location.

The burglary victim woke up and spotted the man leaving the garage with a bag.

Investigators took the man into custody a short time later when he was spotted running down the road.

I only posted this story because one aspect perplexes me. Sure I can see how during the heat of a break in the couple's emotions turn into sex. But what's with the pepper spray? Did he go too far trying to get something that was taboo. Sadly this story is incomplete.


Police beat, taser and pepper spray mentally handicapped teen

Dayton police "mistook" a mentally handicapped teenager's speech impediment for "disrespect," so they Tasered, pepper-sprayed and beat him and called for backup from "upward of 20 police officers" after the boy rode his bicycle home to ask his mother for help, the boy's mom says.

Pamela Ford says her "mentally challenged/handicapped" son Jesse Kersey, 17, was riding his bike near his Dayton home when Officer Willie Hooper stopped him and tried to talk to him.

The mom says that "Prior to the incident described below, defendant Hooper knew Jesse and was aware that Jesse was mentally challenged/handicapped and a minor child."

Nonetheless, Ford says, Hooper "apparently took Jesse's speech impediment for disrespect ... and began yelling at Jesse and after Jesse attempted to communicate with him. Jesse, being a minor and mentally challenged/handicapped, turned and rode his bike back to his home in an attempt to ask his mother, Ford, to help him communicate with defendant Cooper," according to the complaint in Montgomery County Court.

Back-up units were requested to Jesse's house, wherein upward of 20 police officers from different jurisdictions were present.

Jesse was handcuffed and hogtied before being placed in the back of a police cruiser. Jesse was charged with assault on a peace officer, resisting arrest, and obstructing official business. However, "Jesse was declared incompetent by the Montgomery County Juvenile Court and the charges against Jesse were dismissed.

Jesse and his mom seek damages from the city and the two lead officers, for false imprisonment, false arrest, malicious prosecution, assault, battery, excessive use of force, infliction of emotional distress and civil conspiracy.

Don't the police love their tasers. I bet they zap each other as practical jokes. Can you imagine 20 cops standing around watching some poor handicapped kid moaning away as the taser and spray him. What a whole lot of fun.


One Hit Wonder

The Electric Prunes - I Had Too Much To Drink (1966)

This clip includes Barbara Feldon playing drums with the band and some banal banter from Mike Douglas.

A trivia quiz for my American friends

1. Which of the following artists/groups are not Canadian?

a) Arcade Fire.
b) Drake.
c) Lady Antebellum.
d) Joni Mitchell.

2. What was Degrassi High named after?

a) A real high school.
b) Nothing, it's made up.
c) A street in Toronto.
d) I don't know what that is.

3. What is a Caesar?

a) A salad.
b) A backstabbing politician.
c) A cocktail similar to a Bloody Mary.
d) A Shakespeare play.

4. What's not a food that Canadians eat?

a) Nanaimo bars.
b) Ketchup chips.
c) Beaver tails.
d) Poutine.

5. What's Canada's national sport?

a) Curling.
b) Canadian Football.
c) Lacrosse.
d) Soccer.

6. What's a Double, double?

a) A hockey play.
b) A parliamentary procedure.
c) A way to order coffee.
d) A slang term for French and English speakers.

If you picked mostly:

A—You think you know Canada, but you really have no idea.
B—Perhaps you should spend this July 1st brushing up your trivia.
C—You are Canadian.
D—Um, have you even heard of Canada?

Most popular uses for phone books


Dan Aykroyd is celebrating his 59th Canada Day birthday

Casey Anthony: Trial of the Decade

Very few trials attract the attention (some would say morbid) of the public like murder trial taking place in Florida. There was the O.J. Simpson trial in 1995. Many people still remember where they were when the verdict was delivered by the jury. Then there was the sordid details that came out during the Scott Peterson trial in 2004 including a double life, disguises and the incredible lies that he told. He was convicted of murdering his wife Laci and his unborn child.

Move ahead to central Florida where 25 year old Casey Anthony is on trial for allegedly murdering her 2 year old daughter Caylee. The public interest is spawned by incredible stories that come from Casey and her family and the bizarre circumstances surrounding her daughter's death. The result is that real human suffering is transformed into a commercial product to be sold on magazine racks, cable news shows and social media. Coverage of the trial has been relentless.

I don't really follow the trial but this is what I understand is the sad story that has been unfolding:
  • Caylee Anthony disappeared in June 2008 and her body was found 5 months later. Her mother Casey was charged with murder.
  • Caylee wasn't reported missing for a month by her grandmother Cindy not her mother.
  • When first questioned by police about her daughter's whereabouts, Casey had indicated she was with a babysitter which turned out to be a fabrication. Throughout the investigation police had difficulty determining the facts of the case.
  • There were photos that popped up through social media of Casey partying while her daughter was missing.
  • Police were unable to determine the cause of death after Caylee's body was found. However, chemical testing showed signs of decomposition in the trunk of Casey's car as well as traces of chloroform. As well, police were able to confirm that someone searched the Internet for information about chloroform from Casey's computer. There other bits of evidence pointing to Casey including a very damaging diary entry.
  • The defense presented its claim that Caylee drowned accidentally in the family's pool and was found by her grandfather George Anthony, who then covered up Caylee's death. Casey's lawyer also alleged that George had sexually abused Casey since she was 8 years old which is supposed to explain her propensity to lying. He also claimed that Casey's brother Lee had made sexual advances toward Casey and was even given a paternity test to see if he was Caylee's father.
  • The defense rested on June 30 without bringing Casey to the stand.
As I mentioned the public response to the trial can only be described as disturbing. Gaining entry to the trial has been treated like getting tickets to an Oprah show. People have been standing in line for up to 10 hours in the Florida sun, sleeping in line overnight, brawling and trampling each other to get into the courtroom. The trial has become Florida's #1 tourist attraction. Sorry Mickey.

Happy Canada Day!

Get out and enjoy the sun!!

Does airport security make you feel safe?

This may make you feel less secure?

Authorities have charged a man with being a stowaway after he allegedly took a flight from New York to Los Angeles, even though he didn't have a proper boarding pass and was not on the flight manifest.

It wasn't until after Virgin America Flight 415 took off from John F. Kennedy International Airport on Friday that the airline discovered the man, identified as Olajide Oluwaseun Noibi, wasn't supposed to be on the flight, according to an FBI affidavit.

So how did they discover he was on the plane?

The flight crew became aware of him when two passengers complained about his odor, FBI spokeswoman Laura Eimiller said.

It gets better...

But authorities did not arrest Noibi on Friday. They arrested him this week, on Wednesday, when he returned to Los Angeles International Airport and tried to fraudulently board a Delta flight bound for Atlanta, according to the FBI. Officials found he was carrying numerous boarding passes, none in his name, the FBI said.

This is a message to potential terrorist - take a bath!


This guy is either a necrophiliac or rapist

Jackson County prosecutors today accused a 48-year-old man of sexually assaulting an unconscious woman on a sidewalk in broad daylight Wednesday and later telling police, “I thought that lady was dead.”

Prosecutors charged Melvin L. Jackson, of Kansas City, with a felony of sexual assault in connection with the 11:30 a.m. attack in the 3400 block of Troost Avenue. The victim told police she was walking Wednesday when she felt dizzy and light-headed, so she found a shady area and sat down. She later lost consciousness and said she awoke to a witness yelling, “Help her! Get up off of her!” The victim said she didn’t remember getting assaulted, but she noticed her underwear had been removed.

A witness flagged down a nearby police car, and the officer arrested Jackson, who was walking down the street with his pants unzipped, according to court records. When the officer asked Jackson about his pants, Jackson allegedly said he touched “a lady’s leg,” and “I thought that lady was dead.”

The witness told police she saw Jackson having sexual intercourse with the victim, who was in the fetal position, after another witness brought the assault to her attention, according to court records.

When police tried to interview Jackson, he allegedly blurted, “Did that lady say I did something to her?” He later said, “I have the right to remain silent,” according to court records.

Yeah the options here aren't too good. Either you're a sexual predator or pervert. I'd go with the one that has a lighter sentence.


Thursday, June 30, 2011

Sign of the day

Dead woman in public pool for 3 days before someone notices

The body of a 36-year-old woman was pulled from a state-run pool in Fall River Tuesday night, apparently after being in the water since Sunday, prompting the temporary closure of all state-operated deep-water pools in Massachusetts while officials investigate, authorities said.

It was not clear yesterday if any swimmers noticed the woman’s body between Sunday and Tuesday. The Herald News, a local newspaper, ran a photo in Tuesday’s paper showing swimmers in the water on Monday.

Law enforcement officials identified the woman as Marie Joseph of Fall River.

Fall River police Lieutenant Roger LaFleur said in a statement that officers went to Vietnam Veterans Memorial Swimming Pool at Lafayette Park at about 10 p.m. Tuesday and pulled Joseph from the water. She was taken to a hospital where she was later pronounced dead.

The entire staff of the Veterans pool has been placed on administrative leave pending the review.

You may be asking what were the lifeguards doing when while Marie was floating around the pool? Probably texting. We have distracted students, distracted drivers and even distracted lifeguards. Where you go people are texting. They don't communicate with the people they are with only the people who aren't there. What a world.


Maybe playing with a broken nose and a mask wasn't such a good idea

Is a chicken with four legs kosher?

A four-legged chicken is facing a challenge in a strictly Orthodox neighbourhood of Jerusalem. The chicken has caused consternation amongst Mea Shearim residents as rabbis debate whether such a creature is properly kosher.

According to rabbis, the 12-toed bird must be slaughtered before its kosher status can be determined.

If the chicken's legs are found to be bound together, it is not suitable for Friday night dinner.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Tell me what's really on your mind

Lindsay Lohan is free at last

On April 22nd, Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 120 days in jail for violating her probation after stealing a necklace from a jewelry store. The judge saw fit not to give her any additional punishment for the actual crime of stealing the necklace because obviously this girl has suffered enough. But of course she never went to jail. Instead she went on the Tonight Show, and then she went to a bar and got drunk and then she went to the beach in Miami.

Then, on May 25th, she began her 120 day sentence under house arrest instead of in jail, during which she did interviews, threw parties and filmed commercials.

Clearly she’s been punished enough, so today she’ll be released, 84 days early.

Three cheers for the American criminal justice system!

Why is she laughing?

Sex toys are permitted in carry-on luggage

In addition to knowing that you can access your MP3 player or smart phone on a long flight, you can rest assured that your trusty Rabbit Habit or silk wrist sashes can stay within reach on those cross-country treks.

Earlier this week, the U.S. Transportation Security Administration announced that vibrators are safe to pack in carry-on bags when flying. Also safe are whips, chains, leashes, restraints and manacles.

The TSA also reminds travelers that any item that is “club-like” or objects that are “anatomically correct cylinders of roughly a foot or so in length” are still prohibited. In other words, size matters: Keep it under 7 inches and you should be fine.

There are some other tips, too: Remove the batteries to prevent the vibrator from turning on unexpectedly, make sure you are not traveling to a foreign country that restricts or prohibits sex toys, and make sure any lube is in a container that holds 3 ounces or less.

I got a problem with the policy. What's the point of bringing all these gadgets and hardwear when you are limited to just 3 ounces of lube. What am I supposed to do use saliva?


Terry Fox's legacy lives on 30 years later

Yesterday was the 30th anniversary of the death of one of the greatest Canadians – Terry Fox. His story is one that continues to inspire Canadians. His legacy is now part of the Canadian fabric.

He was a basketball player and long distance runner from British Columbia who had his right leg amputated in 1977 at the age of 19 because of cancer. He continued to run and in 1980, he began the Marathon of Hope, a cross-country run to raise money for cancer research. Fox hoped to raise one dollar for each of Canada's 24 million people.

His odyssey began in April in St. John’s, Newfoundland with virtually no notice. Each day he ran the equivalent of a marathon – 26 miles. By the time he reached the Ontario border he was headline news. Huge crowds came out to see him. I remember his appearance at Toronto City Hall was extremely moving and emotional. His journey ended near Thunder Bay, Ontario when he was forced to quit because the cancer had spread to his lungs. He died nine months later on June 28, 1981.

Fox was a courageous and stubborn young man who endured a lot in his short life. His Marathon of Hope was not about Terry Fox but solely to help others with cancer. His attitude broke down many barriers and bias towards people with disabilities.

Terry Fox had raised just $1.7 million when he had to abandon his run. However, his family has continued his legacy and since 1981 there has been an annual Terry Fox Run to raise money for cancer research. The run is now held in 60 countries and has raised more than $500 million.

Terry Fox continues to inspire and give people hope.

Hump Day Hottie

January Jones

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Sign of the day

School board wants dress code under grad gowns - no hot pants or thongs

Even covered by a gown, hot pants and G-strings are not appropriate attire for a graduation ceremony, school board members in one south suburban district say.

The Rich Township High School Board is considering instituting a strict dress code next year after board members said they were aghast at the attire worn by some of this year’s grads.

“When you come to graduation with hot pants, no stockings, 6-inch heels, G-strings and all other types of attire under a gown, that’s just inappropriate and highly disrespectful,” board member Brunetta Hill-Corley — whose daughter recently graduated from Rich Central in Olympia Fields — said at a board meeting last week.

“Morals do start at home, but in the event they’re not at home, the school district needs to uphold them.”

Agreed board member Sonya Norwood: “We have parents who allow their children to wear anything — or half of anything — to school as well as to graduation. . . . Let’s look at the possibility of raising the bar at all ceremonies that you be properly dressed or turned away at the door.”

I'm scratching my head on this one. How will the school know who is sexed up under their grad gown? Is someone going to be lifting up everyone's gown to check? Not a bad job actually. You know that graduation time can be hot and those gowns can be stuffy so you got to do what you got to do to stay cool.


Phoenix Coyotes sales strategy

Monday, June 27, 2011

Woman arrested after spraying Police with breast milk

A woman faces several charges after she allegedly sprayed deputies with breast milk as they tried to detain her over the weekend.

The incident occurred early Saturday morning near the Bridgewater Banquet & Conference Center on Sawmill Parkway.

According to the Delaware County Sheriff's Office, deputies were called to the area after receiving calls about a domestic dispute. When they arrived, a man told them that he had been attending a wedding at the facility with his wife, who had gotten drunk and struck him several times before locking herself in a car.

Delaware County Sheriff Walter L. Davis III said deputies tried to talk with the woman, who was identified as Stephanie Robinette, 30, of Westerville, but she refused to cooperate.

"When deputies attempted to remove Robinette from the vehicle, she advised the deputies that she was a breast feeding mother and proceeded to remove her right breast from her dress and began spraying deputies and the vehicle with her breast milk," Davis said.

The deputies were eventually able to remove Robinette from the car and arrest her, Davis said.

She was later charged with domestic violence, assault, obstructing official business, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct, authorities said.


Sunday, June 26, 2011

I don't get this look, bug eyes and duck lips

Well summer is here and that means a return of the awful look being sported by women. They are all wearing over-sized, bug-eyed glasses and lips the size of a duck bill. The look is awful. With the over-sized and bloated lips can you really tell what the person looks like?

The blame game

Sign of the day - G20 anniversary edition

I've got the most unproductive gardener

And the big news stroy of the day is...

The front pages of the New York Daily News and the New York Post the day after same-sex marriages was legalized in New York state provide contrasting coverage to the issue. Obviously reflects their readers (I'm using the term liberally).

This Year's winner of the World's Ugliest Dog title

A 1.8-pound Chinese crested and Chihuahua mix named Yoda who has been mistaken for a rat won the World's Ugliest Dog title for 2011 on Friday night at the Sonoma-Marin Fair in Petaluma.

Yoda won a trophy 15 times her size and $1,000. She also wins a photo shoot and an overnight stay in the Loft Suite at the Sheraton Sonoma County.

Her owner, Terry Devine Schumacher, said her daughter found Yoga 14 years ago.

"I told her to put it down because I thought it was a rat," Schumacher said.

Dog escapes from backyard, runs half marathon and raises $15,000 for cancer research

A 3-year-old goldendoodle ran away from his home and ended up running most of the Maryland Half Marathon last month.

Dozer got out of his yard and joined runners near his home at the five mile mark of the race through Howard and Baltimore Counties back on May 15.

Runners saw him throughout the race and there's video of him posted on YouTube. He crossed the finish line at the 2 hour 14 minute mark before finding his way back home.

Race officials later gave Dozer a medal for running in the half marathon. And now his family has set up a fundraising page to benefit the University of Maryland's Greenebaum Cancer Center.

So far, Dozer's raised more than $13,000.