Saturday, July 16, 2011

Guys, if your wife is bugging you to replace a kitchen faucet then watch this

Kill it with F4

Sign of the day

Woman arrested for grabbing TSA agent's boob

A woman was arrested at Phoenix’s Sky Harbor Airport Thursday afternoon after police say she sexually assaulted a TSA agent.

According to the arrest report, 61-year-old Yukari Miyamae is accused of grabbing TSA agent Barbara O’Toole’s “left breast through her clothing and squeezing and twisting it with both hands without the victim’s permission.”

The report says Agent O’Toole was dressed in her TSA uniform and was wearing her metal badge. Police say Miyamae admitted to them that she did it. She now faces a felony sexual abuse charge for the incident.

When TSA agents grope and grab you at airport security checkpoints, they're protecting America from terrorism. When passengers grope and grab TSA agents' body parts, it's felony sexual abuse. In other words, just because a TSA agent touches you in creepy ways doesn't mean you can touch them back.


Happy 48th birthday to Phoebe Cates

Phoebe in 1981 Oxy commercial

Phoebe in the 1982 film Paradise

Phoebe in the 1991 film Drop Dead Fred


Phoebe Cates today

Naked man gored by bull in Pamplona

I'm guessing their was some alcohol involved here. Interesting how the bull singled out the man amongst a sea of people in traditional white shirts and red neckerchiefs and went for him. Must have been his penis that enraged the bull.

Celebrity tattoo week

Why I don't sleep

Friday, July 15, 2011

Try explain the flying moose to your insurance company

Sign of the day

Diane Kruger is 35 today

Diane in National Treasure (2004)

Diane in Days of Darkness (2007)

Diane is Inglorious Basterds (2009)

Diane playing Boy George in the music Somebody To Love Me (2010)

Woman nearly killed for looking like Casey Anthony

Sammay Blackwell was attacked at the convenience story where she works when a female customers walked into the location at approximately 10pm, and then left the store only to wait for her outside. According to Blackwell the female was “staring directly at me” before the attack. Blackwell says the female then rammed into her truck which flipped two and a half times.

Apparently this isn’t the first time she’s been told that she looks like Casey Anthony she says people have told her that on more than one occasion, take a look at her photo.

Police told Blackwell that her attacker “said that I was trying to hurt babies, [that] I was killing babies, and she was going to stop me before it happened again.”

The lady who attacker her, Shireen Nalley, has been charged with assault and battery with a deadly weapon. Perhaps Nalley should have done her homework, Casey Anthony won’t even be released from jail until Sunday, now she’s just the crazy lady who runs into people’s vehicles.

There seems to be a rash of confusion lately over the identity of the one, true Casey Anthony. On Wednesday, some people seemed to think she was a black man living in a Philadelphia suburb. (His name is Casey Anthony, too.) The joke is that Casey is right now altering her appearance and will soon look like my Filipino cleaning lady. No one will give her the time of day. Meanwhile hundreds of people that either have the same name or remotely resemble her are getting attacked by vigilante mobs. What a world.


For the guys, a refresher on changing a tire

Who hires a hot 19 year old to baby sit their 14 year old son?

Clinton police have arrested a 19-year-old babysitter, accused of having sex with a 14-year-old boy she was hired to care for.

Police said Loni Bouchard and the boy had a sexual relationship that was consensual and lasted half a year.

Charges were brought against Bouchard after the boy's mother learned about the relationship.

She was charged on Tuesday with second-degree sexual assault, two counts of impairing the morals of a child, and permitting a minor to possess alcohol.

Hey mom does your 14 year old really need someone looking after him? If he really does then you should have avoided horny teenage girls if you intended on keeping your son a virgin. A dad would have been proud of him.


Celebrity tattoo week

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Why the Roger Clemens prosecution is important

Frankly I don't give a damn that Roger Clemens used performance enhancing drugs. Major League Baseball didn't seem to care so why should I? In fact MLB celebrated the recording breaking performances of cheaters and repeatedly awarded Clemens the Cy Young. Even though the distribution and use of steroids was illegal.

Many people think that Clemens' trial is a waste of money and some believe it's a witch hunt. The mistrial ruling today will only reinforce that belief and likely more people will be lobbying that the prosecution be abandoned.

But this trial is not about the use of illegal drugs. If it was I would join the opponents. Let's face it the state needs to be more concerned about the drug distributors and not the users.

No one believes Clemens. I would guess that maybe 99% of people think he is a liar. Clemens is being tried for perjury because he lied to Congress. If you let him walk away from this then it sends a very dangerous signal. The state is declaring it's alright to lie under oath and when you do nothing will happen to you. Congress investigates more important issues that the use of performance enhancing drugs in baseball and it needs witnesses to tell the truth.

Jail time for Clemens sends the right signal.

Will the Blue Jays ever be competitive?

I’m not sold on the latest Blue Jay regime’s promise to build a winner in the near future. Alex Anthopoulos (AA) has clearly articulated a plan which is more than can be said about his predecessor. AA talks about building through youth and only when ready to compete would he jump into the free agent market to finish off the product. We’ll see. That season is supposed to be 2012 which he has to be picking up expensive talent during this offseason.

But is the core really good enough? The proven core right now is just Jose Bautista, Yunel Escobar, Adam Lind and Ricky Romero – all have been signed to long-term deals. However, all the young talent have been hot and cold – too often cold. Will they all hit their stride soon or at all? Travis Snider has been sent down to the minors 3 straight seasons now. Joining him this season in Las Vegas was Brett Cecil and Kyle Drabek. Brandon Morrow has also regressed this season. J.P. Arencebia is just hitting .222 which isn’t even close to what you need from that position to compete with the Yankees, Red Sox and Rays. Sure Eric Thame shows some promise too and we haven’t seen Brett Lawrie yet but will they be good enough? AA is bought himself a lot of goodwill from fans but will his plan work?

Right now just about the only reason to watch the Jays is to witness the incredible performance of Bautista. He puts on a show every game. The other core players are good but are not stars. Then we have a huge cadre of stiffs who are filling a spot until either a young player can step in or a big name player is signed. Frankly as a fan I feel I’m being cheated. The Jays had an adequate closer last season but let him walk and replaced him with 3 pitchers with closer credentials who have already combined for 7 blown saves but just 18 saves. A number of very good relievers were allowed to walk and replaced with older players who were holding their own until the young starting staff caused them to become overworked. We had to watch a group of players stumble around trying to play third base until manager John Farrell raised a white flag and brought in Bautista from the outfield.

I really am hopeful for the future but not completely sold. There are too many promises here and not enough substance. I guess we will just have to wait and see.

Why is a Toronto public school allowed the break a law pertaining to religion in the classroom?

According to a 1988 Ontario Court of Appeal ruling, the Lord’s Prayer could not be recited be Ontario classrooms because it discriminates against students of other faiths. It was the right decision to make and our public education system has only benefited from that ruling. Now we find out that for the past 3 years at least one Toronto public school has been conducting Islamic prayer service every Friday. However, the human rights code requires accommodating people’s different faith. It appears the court ruling and the human rights code are in conflict.

In fact the two are not in conflict. Instead it is the manner in which the school has accommodated those students which creates the conflict. There is a mosque very close to the school where students who want to participate in prayer on Friday afternoons can walk to. However, this isn’t very convenient for parents and some were concerned that their kids wouldn’t return to school. And since 80% - 90% of students at that school are Muslim, who would object? But then wouldn’t it be alright to bring back the Lord’s Prayer at schools where the students are 90% Christian?

So what harm is being done? Well while the school system is promoting diversity and equality, the school cafeteria is closed to non-Muslims are Friday afternoon. Children who attend are being indoctrinated by clergy with no teaching training credentials. Young girls who are menstruating are separated off from the main group (see the picture below). If parents want to teach their children these values they are free to do so but they shouldn’t be using our schools to do so.

I remember when I was expected to recite the Lord’s Prayer and sign Christmas Carols despite not being Christian. Being a rebellious type as a child I refused to go along and the teachers accepted by right to refuse. However, all the other non-Christian students just went along not wanting to stand out. I’m not sure how they felt about it, we didn’t every talk about it. We need to preserve the atmosphere of enlightenment in our schools.

Austrian atheist wins right to wear pasta strainer as religious headgear

An Austrian atheist has won the right to be shown on his driving-licence photo wearing a pasta strainer as "religious headgear". Niko Alm first applied for the licence three years ago after reading that headgear was allowed in official pictures only for confessional reasons.

Mr Alm said the sieve was a requirement of his religion, pastafarianism. The Austrian authorities required him to obtain a doctor's certificate that he was "psychologically fit" to drive.

A self-confessed atheist, Mr Alm says he belongs to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, a light-hearted faith whose members call themselves pastafarians. The license took three years to come through and, according to Mr Alm, he was asked to submit to a medical interview to check on his mental fitness to drive but his efforts have finally paid off.

It is the police who issue driving licences in Austria, and they have duly issued a laminated card showing Mr Alm in his unorthodox item of religious headgear. The next step, Mr Alm said, is to apply to the Austrian authorities for pastafarianism to become an officially recognized faith.

I absolutely love Mr. Alm. With tongue firmly in cheek he has been able to skewer concepts of inclusion, diversity, religion, human rights - initiatives that have often gone totally off the deep end. My favourite part of this story is how the very serious bureaucrats administering the driver's licensing program required that he submit to a medical assessment to prove he was mentally competent to drive. I would join the pastafarian faith but our pasta strainers are too uncomfortable to wear.


Celebrity tattoo week

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Casey Anthony is a black guy in Philly?

Just how stupid do you have to be to mix up a 43-year-old black man in Philadelphia and a 25-year-old white woman in Florida who has had her face plastered on television for 3 solid year?

All those geniuses who have figured out how to search the Internet think they have already located Casey Anthony.

But chances it's the wrong Casey Anthony. No doubt Casey Anthony has her phone number listed on Facebook. She wants to make sure that everyone who hates her guts will find her without too much trouble, right?

This is what Casey Anthony looks like now....

You need 1652 lbs of Spam to get into the Guinness Book of Records

The town of Fremont, Nebraska has been celebrating its eventual entry into the Guinness Book of World Records this week, after residents gathered on Saturday to help create the largest open-face sandwich in the world.

So here is the disgusting part - they used 1,652-pounds of Spam to complete the task at the annual John C. Fremont Days festival. What a wonderful way to pay tribute to the town's founder. His descendants must be thrilled.

Now this wasn't an easy task. To put together the sandwich dough was spread on a 14-foot by 6-foot baking surface designed for the event. Once the dough was ready, a forklift placed it in a special oven made from a trailer body that was rigged with heating elements capable of producing 400,000 BTUs.

Hormel employees and their families grilled about 11,500 slices — 1,242 pounds — of Spam for the sandwich, and spent hours piling those slices onto the freshly baked bread. The Spam was topped with nine cases of pickles and two cases of mustard to meet the Guinness specifications.

Now the town could have pulled together to make a difference in the world, like build a school in Africa, plant a forest or bought prosthetic limbs for children living in worn torn regions. But those activities would never have gotten you into Guinness.

Way to go citizens of Fremont!

Mom arrested for blocking TSA from frisking girl

An overprotective mom's trip from Nashville to Baltimore took a brief detour to the slammer.

Andrea Fornella Abbott, 41, was arrested at Nashville airport after she went wild on Transportation Security Administration agents for trying to give her daughter a pat down search.

Nashville police said Abbot, from Clarksville, Tenn., shouted and swore at TSA agents, saying she didn't want her young daughter to have her "crotch grabbed."

After Abbott refused to cool her heels - she allegedly attempted to try to shoot video of the agents with her cell phone - cops cuffed her and hauled her off to jail.

Best job in the world for perverts and pedophiles. You get paid a damn good wage to be groping runway models, grannies, children, what ever you're into. They just line up and let you touch their junk. It part of the price you may to get on that plane. What a world!


Teen shocks ex-boyfriend with a stun gun, watches as goons beat him

A St. Louis area teen ambushed her ex-boyfriend at his home, shocked him with a stun gun and then watched as a crew of her goons beat him up, prosecutors charged.

Claire Canon, 18, of Chesterfield, Mo., and Bret Lombardo, 22, of Ballwin, Mo., were slapped with burglary and assault charges for brutally attacking Canon's ex late last year.

Chesterfield police said that Canon brought three men in ski masks to her ex's house on Dec. 30, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch reported.

The black-haired beauty knocked on the door. When her former boyfriend answered, Canon said hi and asked for a hug, cops said.

When he went in for a friendly squeeze, Canon shot him in the chest with a stun gun, cops said.

After he crumpled to the floor, Canon's muscle pounced, kicking and punching him in the head, cops said.

The victim tried to flee, but his attackers ran him down and continued the assault, cops said.

After the attack, the battered ex-beau told police that he recognized Lombaro's voice because the thug dated Canon's older sister, cops said.

Wow this girl doesn't hold much a grudge. And then friends often make offers to beat up their friend's ex’s, but how many supply a stun gun? Then again I have to admit that Canon is quite the stunner?—came up with this clever decoy. Who else but a jilted ex-girlfriend would use her charm to gain entry to a man’s heart, only to shock and beat him.


Sign of the day

Celebrity tattoo week

Hump Day Hottie - All-Star Game Edition

Kate Upton

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Is a souvenir baseball worth dying for?

Less than one week after a Texas firefighter falls to his death trying to catch a baseball in Arlington Stadium, some idiot tries to repeat the feat at the Home Run Derby last night. He jumps up on a narrow table near the edge of stands to catch a Prince Fielder home run and fell right over the edge. Fortunately his brother and two buddies grab him and pull back up before he got splattered on the cement floor below.

This is becoming a serious public safety issue for Major League Baseball. How do you protect overly enthusiastic fans who carelessly or foolishly put themselves at risk just to snare a souvenir? About 40 million fans came out to watch games last season and you can't keep an eye on them all.

Robber overpowered by female hair salon owner and kept as a sex slave for 3 days

Teaching a lesson: Olga Zajac, 28, allegedly held 32-year-old would-be robber Viktor Jasinski captive for three days in a back room of her hair salon, feeding him Viagra and having sex 'a couple of times'

A Russian man who tried to rob a hair salon ended up as the victim when the female shop owner overpowered him, tied him up naked and then used him as a sex slave for three days.

Viktor Jasinski, 32, admitted to police that he had gone to the salon in Meshchovsk, Russia, with the intention of robbing it.

Teaching a lesson: Olga Zajac, 28, allegedly held 32-year-old would-be robber Viktor Jasinski captive for three days in a back room of her hair salon, feeding him Viagra and having sex 'a couple of times'

But the tables were turned dramatically when he found himself overcome by owner Olga Zajac, 28, who happened to be a black belt in karate.

She allegedly floored the would-be robber with a single kick.

Then, in a scene reminiscent of Quentin Tarantino's Pulp Fiction, police say Zajac dragged the semi-conscious Jasinski to a back room of the salon and tied him up with a hair dryer cable.

She allegedly stripped him naked and, for the next three days, used him as a sex slave to 'teach him a lesson' - force feeding him Viagra to keep the lesson going.

asinski went straight to the police and told them of his back-room ordeal, saying that he had been held hostage, handcuffed naked to a radiator, and fed nothing but Viagra.

Both have now been arrested.

When police arrived to question Zahjac, she said: 'What a bastard. Yes, we had sex a couple of times. But I bought him new jeans, gave him food and even gave him 1,000 roubles when he left."

No joke but this has always been one of my sex fantasies. Olga please teach me a lesson too!


Fan wh returned Jeter ball may end up owing IRS money

Remember that Yankee fan who caught Derek Jeter's historic home run ball this past weekend. He could have kept the ball and sold it to a collector for hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Instead, Christian Lopez gave the ball to Jeter and in return may get hit with a hefty tax bill from IRS.

The grateful Yankees showered Lopez with gifts including four box seats in the president's box at Yankee Stadium for the rest of the regular season and the post season, three bats, three balls and two jerseys all signed by Jeter.

The seats and the memorabilia were valued in some estimates at $50,000. That might cost the recent college grad, who has $150,000 in outstanding student loans and works at Verizon Wireless. According to tax experts, that amount could result in a $14,000 check to the IRS.

Now if he was a corporate executive he could declare the stuff a business expense and IRS would likely give him back money.

Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 8 begins this week

Above is a young Larry David and as you can see he was bald back then. He was likely bald as a baby. So the new season begins this week and to get you in the mood here is a small clip from Episode 1.

Tim Hudak is starting to annoy me

The more I hear from Tim Hudak the more I don’t like him. I know I’m going against the tread here but his populist babble is just plain dumb. I’m not exactly a Dalton McGuinty fan either. The wise thing for the Premier would have been to step down as leader last year and allow the party to regenerate. The public is in the mood for change and the Liberals aren’t offering any.

Getting back to Hudak, when you get past all his spin you have a list of bad policy initiatives. The list has been packaged to be family and small business oriented. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. He attempts to build off the success of both the federal Conservatives and Rob Ford campaigns. Here are just a few of his promises:

Reduce the size of the bureaucracy by not filling vacancies

This is always a very popular commitment. Shrinking the size of the bureaucracy can only mean worse services or cutting programs. Remember Rob Ford declaring he was going to end the gravy train at City Hall. Now he is considering cuts to snow removal, recycling programs and water fluoridation. When did protecting children’s teeth get labeled as government waste? The reality is that after 15 years of belt tightening there isn’t a significant government “fat” to cut. But it always gets applause on the campaign trail.

No Cuts to Health, Education and Public Safety

Hudak has committed to not make any cuts to the health, education and public safety sectors. In fact he was promised to spend $6 billion more on health and $2 billion more on education. These sectors are 70% of the provincial Budget. It is impossible to spend more on 70% of your programs and have all the cuts come from the remaining 30%. Mike Harris made similar promises that weren’t kept and in fact the cuts in the remaining programs cause some serious problems, most notable a number of deaths in Walkerton from tainted drinking water.

Reduce taxes

I’m all for lower taxes but not if it creates a larger deficit. A deficit budget is borrowing money from future taxpayers. I don’t see that as being very ethical. So when Hudak promises to remove the debt retirement charge from hydro bills I can only ask who is going to pay it? These are debts from past generations that the Conservatives don’t want us to pay. I can tell you we will pay through income tax which is far less transparent – I guess he like hidden taxes. Hudak wants to eliminate the eco fees which he calls taxes. Whether they are fees or taxes it doesn’t matter. Eco fees are collected by manufacturers and retailers to help cover the cost of collecting and recycling hazardous items, instead of sending them to landfills. By the way Hudak is also in favour of protecting the environment, so he says though he wants to eliminate green projects.


My favourite is getting tough on criminals by requiring prisoners to work 40 hours per week on manual labour. Easy target here. These programs always turn out to be a bust. They are very costly because prisoners need to be transported to and guarded at the work sites – parks, highways, etc. The work isn’t found in the prisons. I’d rather get a tax cut then waste money on stupid programs like this.

What I hate is being treated like a simpleton. I get his list of pocketbook issues but they need to make some sense. He knows that enough voters will look at his list and say yeah I’m for him. They won’t consider the implications of his promises.

Filipinos like their dog meat

His shocking menu is where half million dogs a year end up after being snatched off the streets and illegally killed in the Philippines.

After being trussed, muzzled with rusty cans and slaughtered, they end up in restaurants which flout the law to satisfy the growing taste for dog meat.

Customers dine on dog’s head, considered a delicacy, for the equivalent of $3.75.

A dish of dog liver costs about $2.75 while a particular favourite, deep fried paws, are just $1.25.

Bars serve dog meat snacks known as “pulutan” with drinks just as British pub-goers might enjoy a bag of crisps. The grisly trade flourishes in the north where there is a long tradition of eating dog meat despite warnings from the authorities about the dangers to health and the introduction of jail terms for dog meat traders.

I always used to wonder what my mother's caregiver used to bring for lunch. Damn I hope she didn't give any to mom. That stuff ain't kosher.


Celebrity tattoo week

Monday, July 11, 2011

Why I check my voicemail

I think Casey Anthony should do porn

Let's face it we all hate Casey. We know she got away with murder and it pisses us off. She's a compulsive liar. And she is relatively good looking yet skanky. How can you not hate her?

So I hear she might possibly be offered millions to do porn. Make sense to me. Every low level personality does porn. If she was going to write a book about how she killed her daughter that would be great. But I don't see her doing it and she is such a liar that you wouldn't know what to believe. So the next best thing would be if she just showed up her boobs.

Casey do it soon because I don't see you as the type to take care of yourself. Your body is going to look like crap before you know it.

Paper target 1 Redneck 0

Hitler ordered Nazis to make sex dolls so soldiers wouldn't catch syphilis from prostitutes

Adolf Hitler ordered the Nazis to develop sex dolls to send to his troops being ravaged by disease after sleeping with French women, it's been revealed.

The synthetic 'comforters' were made from silicone and designed to stop soldiers being laid low with syphilis. Smaller than life-size, the so-called ‘gynoids’ were to be targeted at the men most at temptation from a ‘quick adventure’ with a French prostitute.

Initially, the Hungarian actress Kathe von Nagy was asked if the doll could be modelled on her, but she refused.Instead the look of the Aryan doll with blonde bob hair and blue eyes was left bland so soldiers could apply their own fantasy.

Author Graeme Donald has uncovered the secretive ‘Borghild Project’ while researching the history of the Barbie doll - which was based on a post-war German sex doll toy.

The World War Two project began in 1940 after SS chief Henrich Himmler wrote: ‘The greatest danger in Paris is the widespread and uncontrolled presence of whores, picking up clients in bars, dance halls, and other places. The project was eventually axed and any evidence was destroyed in the Allied bombing of Dresden.

The Nazis weren't concerned solely with genocide. There were other concerns like syphilis. The clap was something the Fuhrer understood since he supposedly had it. So those clever Nazis also invented the first sex doll.


Safe or out?

Who do you consider to hold the single season home run record?

Here is an interesting scenario. Jose Bautista has 31 home runs at the all-Star break and is projected to finish the season with 56 which is slightly better than his 2010 numbers. However, if he stays hot and healthy it is conceivable that he breaks the 60 homer mark. When you look at the list of players who are in the 60 home run club you see a lot of tainted players.




Barry Bonds



Mark McGwire



Sammy Sosa



Mark McGwire



Sammy Sosa



Roger Maris



Babe Ruth



So If Bautista happens to finish above 61 home runs how do you compare that accomplishment with Bonds, McGwire and Sosa? Would you consider Bautista the new single season home run champion

Celebrity tattoo week

Sunday, July 10, 2011

If the glove doesn't fit

Sign of the day

Maybe being gored at the Running of the Bulls isn't your thing

Here are a number of alternatives for the risk takers out there:

1. Join shoppers on Black Friday

2. Compete in a unicycle marathon

3. Jostle for a seat at the Caylee Anthony trial

4. Trying to drive downtown during rush hour

5. Hanging around downtown Vancouver after the Canucks lose

When winning is everything...

Artist planning to design giant mobile breast

A local artist and teacher at Carnegie Mellon University has come up with an idea to support mothers who are harassed for nursing in public.

Jill Miller envisions something she calls “The Milk Truck.” She wants to buy an ice cream truck and outfit it with a giant breast on the roof.

When a woman is made to feel uncomfortable or told to leave a public place for breastfeeding, she could contact “The Milk Truck.” The truck would respond and park in front of the restaurant or other establishment, along with followers of the program through Twitter and Facebook.

Project manager Tara McElfresh says they will lay down a rug, set up chairs under an awning on the side of the truck, and if the mother still needs to, she can nurse outside in an environment of support.

McElfresh says she’s heard stories of women who have encountered problems breastfeeding in public in Pittsburgh, including a woman who says she was told to leave a restaurant in Squirrel Hill.

Yeah if you want to grab people's attention the best way to do it is drive around town in a giant boob squirting out milk. Nothing like a lactating breast to bring out the inner child.


Good bye to the News of the World

Back in 1979 Joe Jackson wrote a song Sunday Papers that best described the trashy British newspapers like the News of the World.

Celebrity tattoo week