Friday, September 30, 2011

Friday Flashback: Carpenters

Man arrested for exposing himself blames pants

A Ridley Park man who was arrested for masturbating on his front porch must have been hard up for excuses when claimed he was just "having some problems with my pants," according to police.

Cops responded to calls of a man who was indecently exposed and masturbating on his porch on East Chester Pike at around 12:24 p.m. Tuesday, said Ridley Park Police Chief Tom Byrne.

The 44-year-old suspect, Leonard Worby, was arrested inside of his mother's apartment and was later identified by witnesses, according to police.

In interviews, Worby told investigators that he was "having some problems with my pants," according to Byrne.

He was arrested on indecent exposure and related charges.


Reebok ordered to pay $25 million for claiming shoes improved muscle tone

The U.S. Federal Trade Commission’s $25 million settlement with Reebok for deceptive ad practices sent a clear message to advertisers: If you’re going to make specific health or safety claims, you better cover your butt. Not only did the FTC go after Reebok for what it determined was a lack of laboratory tests to prove that its EasyTone and RunTone line would, as it claimed, improve muscle tone and strength in the butt, hamstrings, and calves, but it also punished the company by forcing it to give back the money it charged consumers who paid $80 to $100 for the shoes. “What is different with Reebok, it’s a restitution case. Normally advertisers agree to stop making the claims,” said Jeffrey Greenbaum, managing partner, Frankfurt Kurnit Klein & Selz. In Reebok’s case, the FTC found that Reebok’s proof of its claims, based in part on a trial that involved only five subjects, was inadequate.

Independent studies had proven that the claim was bullshit. Reebok knew it but thought they could get away with it. This is a win for consumers. There is no way a pair of shoes created Kelly Brook's ass (see below).


Teacher bans 'bless you' in class

The age-old tradition of saying "bless you" when someone sneezes is banned in one California classroom.

Health teacher Steve Cuckovick refuses to let his students say it. He says it has nothing to do with religious beliefs; he claims it becomes a disruption in class and is serious about enforcing it.

He deducts 25 points from student’s grades every time someone breaks the ban.

"The blessing doesn't make any sense anymore. When you sneeze, in the old days, they thought you were dispelling evil spirits out of your body. So, they are saying god bless you for getting rid of the evil spirits. But today, what I said is what your doing doesn't make any sense anymore,” said Cuckovick.

Parents and teachers are furious at the teacher’s actions.

After the uproar, the teacher decided not to penalize grades anymore, but he will still discipline any students who say "bless you."


Sign of the day

Jesus loves sex week

This is why I no longer subscribe to the National Post

There was a rather misguided ad that was allowed to run in Canada's National Post today. Speaks volumes on what is wrong with the Post. This is just sad. The ad shows a little girl and says she doesn't want to be confused and think that she's a boy because she's taught about gay people and transgender people in school. Yeah, that's exactly what turns kids into gay people - sex education in school.

This ad was apparently placed by Charles McVety, one of the leaders of Canada's Christian right. Apparently many Canadian newspapers rejected the ad.

Man shoots self on first date

Police in North Carolina said a couple's first date was interrupted when a man accidentally shot himself in a parking garage.

Charlotte police said the couple returned to the man's car after eating Tuesday at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse on Fairview Road and the man's gun, which was in the car, somehow went off and shot the man, The Charlotte Observer reported Wednesday.

His date was not injured and he was treated at Carolinas Medical Center for a non-life-threatening leg wound.

This story brings back memories of first dates gone bad. However as I recall the accidental shots were just premature ejaculation.


Move over Bill Buckner, the Red Sox now have Jonathan Papelbon

The Boston Red Sox had a lock on a playoff spot on Sept. 3. Following a 12-7 win against the Texas Rangers, they held a 9-game lead over the Tampa Bay Rays with 24 games to play. Those kind of leads do not often disappear. But it did. The collapse only brings back bad memories of the 1986 playoffs and Bill Buckner booting a ground ball that led to another Sox collapse. Perhaps it's unfair to compare Jonathan Papelbon's blown save with Buckner's error. But it may take a long time for Sox fans to forget.

Those last few moments of the Yankees-Rays game were as exciting and wild as you will ever see in baseball. Rays fans were electric when the scoreboard showed that the Sox had lost. Then moments later Evan Longoria wins the game and a playoff berth with a homerun.

Crook busted after robbing same bank for third day in row

A greedy bank robber starred in his own criminal version of “Groundhog Day” -- holding up the same downtown Sovereign branch on three consecutive days before he was finally busted yesterday, police sources told The Post yesterday.

Charles Burnett, 29, allegedly stole a total of more than $26,000 before cops thwarted his unprecedented crime spree.

“Maybe a handful of times I’ve heard of a guy come back a few weeks later,” said a law-enforcement source. “I’ve never heard of a guy come back two days in a row, let alone three."

Burnett began his heist hat trick at 9:19 a.m. Monday, when he boldly entered the bank, shoved a customer out of the way and handed a teller a demand note that read: “Put money in the bag, I have a gun.”

To show he was serious, he produced a brown paper bag and banged it on the counter to indicate it had something heavy, and threatening, inside. The teller gave him $2,258 and he walked out while peeling off a blue glove.

The next day he came back at 10:54 a.m., aggressively cut the line and demanded loot.

Danielle Stephens, 25, a teller who was on her first day at work said she told him she didn’t have any cash, so he went to another teller.

“He told the girl next to me, ‘I will shoot you in the f--king face if you don’t give me all your money,’” Stephens said. “He walked out with like $14,000.”

After the second heist, the suspect’s security-camera photo was put up in police stations and published in yesterday’s Post. Still, he couldn’t resist taking a third shot at the bank yesterday.

Just after 9 a.m. he passed a demand note that said, “I have a gun put all the money in the bag.”

“It was the same dumbass who hit us yesterday,” said one worker. “He was huge.”

As Burnett left the bank with some $10,002 in loot, he was spotted by two police officers who happened to be driving by.

They saw him carrying a dark-colored knapsack and recognized him from his wanted poster, and one officer chased him down.

Nothing surprising about this. Obviously this was Big Chris' favourite bank. Staff are courteous and they carry a lot of cash in their tills. It's unfortunate that he will unable to do business with them for the next few years.


Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Woman beat boyfriend because he wouldn't have sex with her

"All I want is a piece of ass, is that too much to ask for?"

That’s what Melissa Minarsich said to police last night when they arrived at her Iowa City home in response to a call of a “female out of control.” As detailed by Minarsich, 28, she got into an altercation with her boyfriend “because he would not have sex with her.”

Which prompted Minarsich’s pointed remark to cops about her desire for “ass.”

According to a criminal complaint, Minarsich smelled of booze and had slurred speech when interviewed by Iowa City Police Department officers. Her boyfriend--with whom she has an eight-month-old child--told cops when he told Minarsich “he wouldn’t sleep with her she became upset and swung at him.” Minarsich “landed a couple of blows,” but the man was not injured, police noted.

Minarsich was booked into the Johnson County jail on a misdemeanor domestic assault charge (she was convicted in June 2009 on a similar count). Seen in the above mug shot, Minarsich is being held in lieu of $5000 bond.

"All I want is a piece of ass, is that too much to ask for?" The anwser to the question is easy - yes!! Honey you would scare the shit out of just about any guy. No one wants a piece of ass strung out on meth.


Man claims wife raped by 'invisible man'

The Invisible Man

A man has claimed that his wife was raped by an "invisible man", Sin Chew Daily reported.

The youth, in his 20s, said his wife would remove her clothing, touch her own body and moan while sleeping at night, since a month ago.

He sought help from a medium, who then told him that someone had used black magic to take away the wife's "soul" and rape her.

The couple, from Bintulu, Sarawak, lodged a police report but the cops could not do anything to arrest the "invisible man".

Now if the invisible man can get his wife pregnant that would be a hell of a feat.


Sign of the day

Paul Henderson scores his iconic goal 39 years ago today

Hump Day Hottie

Pippa Middleton

Jesus loves sex week

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

All three political leaders are lying to Ontarians

Former Bank of Canada governor David Dodge did not have kinds words to say about the to political leadership in Ontario with respect to prospects for the province’s economy. Dodge slammed all three Ontario political leaders. Each, he warned, is promoting “impossible” economic plans that unrealistically promise lower taxes and improved services for a province that he believes is facing a shrinking tax revenue base.

“Whoever wins will be seen to have lied to the public.”

The Red Sox' epic collapse

Sure the Red Sox are tied with the Rays and could still pull it off. Things are so bad Sox fans are rooting for the Yankees this week. But let's face even if they make the playoffs, it's not like they are going to win. I can't hide the fact that I'm enjoying this.

Canada, eh?

Ouch! That's what I call a post pattern

Another Father of the Year candidate

Hillsborough County deputies say Kristopher Mills brought a 9-month-old baby to a bar on U.S. 41 and started two fights Sunday evening.

The 32-year-old Ruskin man faces battery, child neglect and assault charges. Deputies say he went to Shenaniganz Bar at 5813 Highway 41 North with the child and pulled a man’s hair, starting a physical fight. The Office said Mills then went to another man and started striking him with his fists. Before starting the second fight, deputies said, Mills handed the child to a friend inside the bar. The Office said Mills also drank six beers while inside the bar and then tried to drive home with the child.

When deputies arrested Mills, they said he pulled away, struck an officer, made threats, and tried to stop them from putting on leg shackles. Once at the jail, deputies say they had to carry Mills to the booking area because he refused to walk. The 9-month-old is now with Child Protection Officers.


Saudi Arabia continues to treat women as chattels

Saudi activists say a court has sentenced a Saudi woman with 10 lashes for defying the kingdom's ban on women driving. Activist Samar Badawi says Shaima Ghassaniya was found guilty today of driving without the government's permission.

No laws prohibit women from driving, but conservative religious edicts have banned it.

The verdict is the first of its kind in Saudi Arabia. Other women were detained for several days, but had not been sentenced by a court. But it explains the surprising announcement two days where Saudi King Abdullah announced that, for the first time, women have the right to vote and run in the country's 2015 local elections. That was just a cover for today's ruling.

I hope Saudi women find a ride to the polling stations.

Jesus loves sex week

Men robbed of beer by man with inhaler

A California man is facing charges after police say he used an inhaler to steal beer from two men before using his head to break the windshield of a police cruiser.

According to a Clover Police report, officers were called to the Kangaroo Express on the 400 block of Main Street early Tuesday morning around 1:41 a.m. to the report of an armed robbery.

Officers spoke to two men who said they were walking along the sidewalk after buying beer and were approached by a man who pointed what appeared to be a silver pistol at them and demanded their beer. The report indicates that the armed man threatened to kill them if they didn't hand over their beer.

The man, later identified as 23-year-old Ashton Graham of California, then ran away from the scene with a case of Keystone Ice and a case of Budweiser beer.

Officers called the York County Sheriff's Office to ask for assistance from the department's K-9 unit to track Graham. Investigators followed a trail of beer cans and empty cartons as the K-9 unit tracked Graham.

911 dispatchers notified officers that employees from the Honeywell Safety Products on Jackson Heights had called and said that a male covered in blood was on their property and "acting very strange."

Employees told officers that the man was "very intoxicated and told them that he had been assaulted by three black males," the Clover Police report states. When employees told Graham they were calling police, he reportedly "got up off the sidewalk, fell down and dropped a Budweiser beer out of his pocket and got back up." That's when ran out into the field behind the company, employees told police.

The York County Sheriff's Office K-9 units were able to track Graham to the woods behind the building and he was placed into custody. Police say when he was being lead to the patrol car he became extremely agitated and very combative with officers.

Graham told officers that he had used an inhaler to look like a weapon during the robbery.


I want this smartass monkey

Monday, September 26, 2011

Sign of the day

Need a job?

Ontario election promises are not to be believed

Ontario party leaders, from left: New Democrat Andrea Horwath, Liberal Dalton McGuinty, Progressive Conservative Tim Hudak. - Ontario party leaders, from left: New Democrat Andrea Horwath, Liberal Dalton McGuinty, Progressive Conservative Tim Hudak.

Promises, promises, promises. So many promises but can any of the party leaders actually keep the promises they make? I doubt it. To confuse voters further every leader accuses their opponents with having a hidden agenda. This forces everyone to make further promises that there are no hidden agendas.

The Ontario political landscape is littered with broken promises. Bob Rae won the 1990 election largely on a promise to introduce government-run auto insurance but backed down after intense lobbying from the insurance industry.

Mike Harris made quite a number of promises and kept many of them. One promise was not to download costs to the municipalities. However, in order to keep his promise to lower taxes he did end up downloading program costs to the cities which led to municipal tax increases. So your provincial ax decreases were partially funded by municipal tax increases.

Dalton McGuinty clearly committed to no tax increases. Frankly that is a promise you can never keep in the long term. However, he immediately broke his promise when the new Liberal government in 2003 inherited a hidden deficit from the outgoing administration. He needed revenue to fund his other commitments so he introduced the health premium. He made a broken promise look worse by trying to label a tax as a premium.

So here we are in 2011 and the party leaders have made tons of promises that defy logic and the current economic realities. The Liberals have made over 40 policy announcements. The Conservatives have promised tax cuts, no spending cuts in health care and education, and a balance budget (which is currently $14 billion). Pure fantasy. The NDP are also promising tax cuts on gas and home heating fuel and to small business while committing to new programs. They indicate that it will be funded by corporate tax increases and at least the numbers seem to add up.

Politicians who recklessly make promises and are unable to fulfill them should be required to resign. Better yet, voters should turn off those silly political TV ads and carefully read the party platforms. Voters should be questioning their candidates and letting them know what you think.

Otherwise we get what we deserve.

Southwest Airline is at it again

A couple years back Southwest Airline told Kyla Ebbert that her outfit was too slutty to travel on one of their flights.

Then last year they told director Kevin Smith that he was too fat to fly with them.

Well Southwest in back in the news. Actress Leisha Hailey is complaining that she and a girlfriend were kicked off a Southwest Airlines flight in a dispute over them kissing on a plane. She was told by a flight attendant that Southwest "was a 'family' airline and kissing was not ok", and that she and her companion were then "escorted off the plane for getting upset about the issue".

Camila Grey, Leisha Hailey

Jesus loves sex week

Sunday, September 25, 2011

How to make it in Hollywood

Girls are so aggressive these days

Rick Perry supports Israel

Like many conservatives Rick Perry is a strong supporter of Israel and has reached out to the Jewish community. This video has recently come to the surface from last December when Perry participated in a candle lighting ceremony for Hanukkah.

The video looks quite odd Perry is surrounded by ultra-religious black hatted Jewish rabbis. Let's face it Perry could be the poster boy for gentiles. The sight of him dancing with the group of Rabbis is hilarious.

Jesus loves sex week