Saturday, May 05, 2012

Why you can't get a date

Squeezing a penis with a hot hair iron is not assau but a head butt is

Hispanic woman curling hair with curling iron [BLD063523]

A Swedish woman who placed her ex-boyfriend’s penis in a hot hair straightener and squeezed down is not guilty of assault, a Swedish court has ruled.

The hair-raising episode unfolded in January 2011 when the 31-year-old man got drunk with his ex-girlfriend and another female acquaintance in a flat in Halmstad in western Sweden.

As his ex-girlfriend sat on the couch straightening her hair, the man suddenly asked to have his penis “straightened”, wanting her to place the hair iron around his sex organ, the local Hallands Posten newspaper reported.

“Do it, do it, do it,” the man said, according to the woman’s statement to police.

While the woman at first resisted, she eventually grew tired of the 31-year-old continually grabbing his penis and waving it around in the air and decided to give the man’s member a scorching squeeze with her warmed-up flat iron.

Following the “stupid” stunt, the 31-year-old simply laughed and asked the other woman for some ice.

He later testified in court, however, that having his penis pressed in a scalding-hot hair iron left him suffering in pain for nearly three weeks after the incident.

A few hours following the sex-organ squeeze, the drunken 31-year-old then got in an argument with his ex-girlfriend, who eventually slapped him, prompting the man to head-butt her so hard she tumbled down to the floor.

He then proceeded to hit her repeatedly in the face, resulting in an assault charge also being filed against him.

The man claimed that violent reaction to the slap was simply a reflexive response.

He explained that his hard life had required him to develop such survival instincts, without which he’d likely be dead.

In issuing its ruling on the case, the court found that since the man had asked the woman to put his penis in the hair iron in the first place, she could hardly be culpable in the caper.

While the court acquitted the hot-iron wielding woman, it nevertheless found the 31-year-old guilty of assault for the vicious head-butt which took place later in the evening.


Video of the week

This week was easy. It's BYU runner Katy Andrews who appears to run right into the steeplechase barrier during a race. She is actually a decent athlete but caught the toe of her spike a couple steps before the barrier. She tumbling hard over the barrier and into the water. Katy posted this video on YouTube herself.

'The Great One' is Paulina Gretzky's Twitter account week

Paulina with her Dad

Friday, May 04, 2012

Woman fakes cancer for breast implant money

A Phoenix woman has been charged with fraud and theft after authorities say she told people she had cancer and needed treatment so she could get money from them to buy breast implants.

Police reports filed in Maricopa County Superior Court say 27-year-old Jamie Lynn Toler told her former boss she needed a double mastectomy and breast reconstruction and was uninsured. She also told the tale to her mother and grandparents.

Authorities say Toler helped organize fundraisers and collected more than $8,000 beginning in September.

Medical records obtained by Mesa police show she didn't have cancer and paid a plastic surgeon with the cash.


The importance of a good copy editor is demonstrated here

The cover of the Living section in today’s Pittsburgh Tribune-Review says ‘Shit yourself.’” It's supposed to say suit yourself.

6 year old boy suspended for sexual harassment

A 6-year-old boy was suspended from his suburban Denver school for three days after school officials say he told a girl "I'm sexy and I know it," a line from a popular song.

The first-grader at Sable Elementary School in Aurora is accused of sexual harassment and disrupting other students, according to a letter the school district sent to the boy's mother after he was sent home Wednesday.

School officials issued a statement saying they couldn't discuss the case, but they pointed out a school board policy that defines sexual harassment as any unwelcome sexual advance. There is no age limit.

The Aurora Police Department said it was not involved in the case because laws only cover children ages 10 and older.

The boy's mother, Stephanie Meadows, said her son doesn't know the meaning of sexual harassment. It's the second time her son has gotten in trouble for quoting the song, she said.

Yeah the Mom goes all high and mighty but you tell me whether a 6 year old should be hearing music like this in the first place - take a look at the lyrics. When I was 6 I was singing the Wheels on the Bus. Hey Mom there's lots of time for your son to learn to be a sexist pig.


Flashback Friday - Gordon Lightfoot

45 years of Maple Leafs frustration: 1974-75

The 1974-75 saw the NHL expand once again adding the Washington Captitals and the Kansas City Scouts. With 18 teams the NHL moved from two division to four divisions within two conferences. NHL expansion and the WHA diluted the league so much that Washington finished with the worse record in the history of the NHL with only 8 wins and 21 points. The Maple Leafs benefit from realignment and an expanded playoff format making the playoffs despite finishing in 3rd place in the Adams Division (6th in their conference and 13th overall) with a 31-33-6 record.

The Philadelphia Flyers were the new dominant team in the NHL also known as the Broad Street Bullies. The Maple Leafs followed the lead of other teams by bulking up by adding players like Dave ‘Tiger’ Williams and Dave Dunn from Vancouver.

The Maple Leafs would advance to the 2nd round by beating the Los Angeles Kings 2 games to 1. In the 2nd round the Leafs tried to put up a good fight against the defending Stanley Cup Champion Philadelphia Flyers but got swept in four games.It was obvious that the Leafs needed a lot of work still before becoming competitive.

'The Great One' is Paulina Gretzky's Twitter account week

Paulina with her Dad

Thursday, May 03, 2012

Best steeplechase fail ever

BYU athlete Katy Andrews appears to run right into the steeplechase barrier during a race. She is actually a decent athlete but caught the toe ofher spike a couple steps before the barrier. She tumbling hard over the barrier and into the water. Katy posted this video on YouTube herself.

Mayor Rob Ford vs. the Toronto Star

Munch pastel on "cardboard" sells for a record $120 million


I don’t know why I’m so fascinated by this but a copy of “The Scream” by Edvard Munch set a new art auction record when it sold for $119,922,500 last night in New York. And it’s not even one of the paintings (*). It’s pastel on cardboard, and “pastel” is just a fancy art word for “crayon”.

By the way you can buy a poster of "The Scream" for just $15. I got a beautiful one of Vincent van Gogh's "Sunflowers".

Dancing drunks at ball games...summer must be around the corner

Robber with poorly fitting underwear on his head easily recognized

This CCTV clip shows Tazviona Bhebe attempting to hold up a London convenience store using a pair of baggy grey underpants as a disguise.

With the crotch hanging over his nose, the 40-year-old can be seen threatening the shop assistant at Broadway Mini-Market in Sutton with a knife.

But his not-so-cunning plan backfired. Not only could his face clearly be seen on the shop’s CCTV, but the shopkeeper turned the tables by bashing his hapless attacker on the head with an A-frame advertising board.

Bhebe was forced to flee and removed his disguise. Alas, it revealed another flaw in his plan.

The robber had chosen a store around the corner from his home and was immediately recognised by neighbours as he escaped.

Shop assistant Hari A Mahalingham, 33, who had been helping out at the store as a favour, said: “I couldn’t believe it when he came in wearing this underwear on his head, it was a pointless disguise and I recognised him straight away.

There is obviously a need for some type of technical training program for robbers. We are seeing poorly trained and prepared robbers not able to support themselves because they can't properly execute. You need to have a proper disguise, a real weapon and a getaway plan. And above all, don't be robbing a place where they know you. Hey Harry is that you?


Sign of the day

'The Great One' is Paulina Gretzky's Twitter account week

Paulina with her Dad

Wednesday, May 02, 2012

Brett Lawrie is sailing high

Yesterday's walk-off home run by Brett Lawrie was his second in just 67 games. He certainly looks like he will be a game breaker if he keeps this up. The celebration at homeplate was was fun as Lawrie took considerable air. Although someone needs to tell him about Kendrys Morales.
It took Morales exactly 663 days to return to the Los Angeles Angels after he somehow broke his leg while celebrating a walk-off homerun.

I can't even speculate how good this kid will get. I just hope he's a Jay for a long long time. Lawrie is batting .433 this season between the 7th and 9th inning, and lifetime he has an average of .360 from innings 7-9. The guy gets better as the game goes on.

45 years ago today the Toronto Maple Leafs last won a Stanley Cup

Below is a video of the last goal scored and last minute played of the 1967 Stanley Cup finals. It was the Maple Leafs 11th Stanley Cup and 4th in the 1960's. The team was considered too old and too slow but they received outstanding goaltending from Terry Sawchuk and Johnny Bower. Dave Keon won the Conn Smythe.

Meanwhile the Leafs have sunk so low that they haven't even qualified for the playoffs in seven years. One of the longest streaks in NHL history.

Hump day hottie

Minka Kelly

Don't you just love a man in a uniform

funny graphs - I Love a Man in Uniform

'The Great One' is Paulina Gretzky's Twitter account week

Paulina with her proud Dad.

Playoff hockey in Toronto in May?

 Paul Byron of the Abbotsford Heat crashes Marlies goalie Ben Scrivens' crease in Game 1 at Ricoh Coliseum.

It was May 1st and there was playoff hockey in Toronto. But it wasn't the Maple Leafs but rather the Marlies. I was at the game and it was my first game at the Ricoh Centre. The place was just over half full with about 5,000 in attendance. Good tickets in the corner cost just $24.

The Marlies have cheerleaders and the small crowd was pretty boisterous. The Marlies were populated with players who had played for the Leafs during the regular season including Matt Frattin, Jake Gardner, Jay Rosehill, Nazem Kadri, Philippe Dupuis and Ben Scrivens.

However, the Marlies were pretty rusty having last played a week after sweeping their first round opponent. They did not really get going until the 3rd period and lost 3-1 to Abbotsford. Frattin scored the lone Marlies goal.

Tuesday, May 01, 2012

God Bless America and Kate Upton


Drunk grandparents towed child in toy car behind their SUV

The grandparents of a 7-year-old girl gave her a car ride Sunday, but sheriff's deputies say there were two major problems: they towed the girl in a plastic car behind their SUV, and the driver of the vehicle was drunk while they towed her.

At about 4:30 p.m. Sunday, a deputy eastbound on Clark Road reportedly saw the SUV pulling a plastic Hot Wheels car with a girl dressed in a swimsuit but wearing no protective gear such as a helmet. The toy car was tied to a trailer hitch with two dog leashes. The deputy estimated the SUV's speed at 5 to 10 mph.

Belinda Berloni was riding in the SUV's cargo area with the hatch open and was cheering on the child, an arrest report states. When stopped, Paul Berloni admitted that his driver's license was revoked and that he had been drinking alcohol.

Belinda Berloni "was also intoxicated" and admitted "that she understood that it was dangerous to drag a child behind the vehicle but stated they were just having fun and had been doing this all day," an arrest report stated.

The girl's father, Belinda Berloni's son, arrived at the scene and took custody of his daughter after becoming verbally upset with his mother, the deputy reported.

It's always great staying at grandma and grandpa's. They let you stay up late, fill you up with treats and will tow your Hot Wheels car behind their Ford Explorer. Yeah what fun!


45 years of Maple Leafs frustration: 1973-74

By adding Lanny McDonald, Ian Turnbull, Bob Neely, Borje Salming and Inge Hammarstrom, Jim Gregory had managed to bring to the team the equivalent of five first round picks. With those five new players, together with an emerging Darryl Sittler, and new coach Red Kelly, the Leafs were on the upswing again.

After being astute enough to pick up Bernie Parent, the Leafs let him leave to sign with the Miami Screaming Eagles/Philadelphia Blazers of the WHA. However, when the finally got him back they flipped him to the Flyers for goalie Doug Favell and then picked up Eddie Johnston from Boston to shore up the goaltending (#3 on my list of worst Leafs trades). Darryl Sittler was becoming a NHL star and finished 8th in scoring with 38 goals and 84 points. However, with Bernie Parent the Leafs would have become a Cup contender.

They did lose to Boston in the 1974 playoffs but the young Leafs showed much promise. The Leafs, though, were still lacking in toughness and that was especially apparent in a league being dominated by the brutally rough play of the Philadelphia Flyers.

Align Center
Doug Favell handling the puck behind the net.

Car-full of kids sing Bohemian Rhapsody on the school-run

'The Great One' is Paulina Gretzky's Twitter account week

Paulina with her proud Dad.

Monday, April 30, 2012

2 girls run over while sunbathing on road

Two teenage girls were struck by a car while sunbathing along Donald Avenue on Saturday afternoon in Beaver County."I'm very upset. It's the worst thing I've ever seen," witness Nicole Beck said.Authorities said Samantha Schermanhorn and Kaylie George, both 13, had to be flown by helicopter to a hospital after they fell asleep while tanning in the road and were hit by the vehicle."I jumped off the tractor, ran across the road, ran to the road," neighbor Keith Gilbert said. "I didn't get his attention in time, and he hit both girls."Nicole and Nicholas Beck, who are Schermanhorn's cousins, said their 19-year-old brother was driving and had stopped at a stop sign before making a turn and hitting the two girls."They told us they fell asleep on the road, and my brother turned and hit them," Nicholas Beck said.The Becks said 911 was called, and the victims were conscious when ambulances arrived to take them to a nearby site to meet the helicopters. They said their brother was questioned after the crash, but it was just an accident.

World Trade Centre once again New York's tallest building

One World Trade Center in New York on 27 April 2012.

1 World Trade Center
is expected to pass the Empire State Building today as the tallest in New York. There had been talk of 1 WTC being behind schedule, but things seem to be flying together in attempt to fall in line with the expected 2013 completion date. People over at EarthCam have the buildings construction, from day one to now, time-lapsed to under two minutes.

video platformvideo managementvideo solutionsvideo player

When completed the WTC will be 1776 feet but will not be the tallest building in the world.

Man sues after motorcyle ride left him with permanent erection

A man claims in court that a four-hour ride on a BMW motorcycle with a "ridge-like" seat gave him "a severe case of priapism," which left him "unable to engage in sexual activity."
The man sued BMW of North America and Corbin-Pacific, which made the seat, in a bare bones complaint.
Aside from four pages of checked boxes, the complaint states, in its entirety, that on May 1, 2010, "Plaintiff was riding his 1993 BMW motorcycle equipped with a Corbin-Pacific seat. The ride lasted approximately two hours each way to plaintiff's destination, after which plaintiff developed a severe case of priapism (a persistent, lasting erection). Plaintiff alleges that this condition was caused by the ridge-like seat on his motorcycle, negligently designed, manufactured and/or installed by defendants.

"Plaintiff now suffers from priapism (a long lasting erection), and has been experiencing continuing problems since his motorcycle ride. He is now unable to engage in sexual activity, which is causing him substantial emotional and mental anguish. Plaintiff is distraught and distressed because of this. Defendants, and each of them, are liable to plaintiff due [to] their negligent design, manufacture and/or installation of the seat on plaintiff's motorcycle."

He seeks damages for lost wages, personal injury, medical expenses, product liability and negligent infliction of emotional distress.


Is that you Elvis week

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Michelle Pfeiffer turns 54 today

Michelle Pfeiffer singing Makin' Whoppee from the 1989 film The Fabulous Baker Boys.

Sign of the day

Edwin Encarnacion has a clunky glove but a big bat

Double E has had a great start to the year, making up for Jose Bautista's early season. With yesterday's grand slam Encarnacion is among the AL leaders. He has 6 homers (5th), 19 RBIs (3rd), 8 doubles (4th), 52 total bases (5th) and 14 extra base hits (2nd). Damn it he is even 11th in the AL in stolen bases with 3. Sure it's early in the season but many of the Jays bats have been quiet so far. Someone has to be hot.

Australian Minister agrees with what the Prime Minister said despite having no idea what she said

The Honourable Bill Shorten, Australia's Minister for Employment and Workplace Relations, doesn't need to know what Prime Minister Julia Gillard said in order to agree with her wholeheartedly.

Is that you Elvis week

Dentist reacts badly to break up, pulls out all of ex-boyfriend's teeth

Female dentist working on a male patient

A jilted dentist who pulled out all her boyfriend's teeth after he dumped her for another woman is facing three years in jail in Wroclaw, Poland.

Anna Mackowiak, 34, was astonished when just days after breaking up with her, Marek Olszewski, 45, turned up at her surgery complaining of tooth ache.

"I tried to be professional and detach myself from my emotions.

"But when I saw him lying there I just thought, 'What a bastard' and decided to take all his teeth out," she admitted.

After putting him to sleep with a heavy dose of anesthetic, the spurned dentist locked the door and then began plucking his teeth out one by one.

She then wrapped his head and jaw in bandage to prevent him opening his mouth and told him there had been complications and he would need to see a specialist.

Toothless cabbie Marek said: "I knew something was wrong because when I woke up I couldn’t feel any teeth and my jaw was strapped up with bandages.

"She told me my mouth was numb and I wouldn’t be able to feel anything for a while and that the bandage was there to protect the gums, but that I would need to see a specialist.

"I didn’t have any reason to doubt her, I mean I thought she was a professional.

"But when I got home I looked in the mirror and couldn’t f***ing believe it.

"The b**ch had emptied my mouth.

"The new girlfriend has now left me saying she can’t be with a man without teeth.

"And I’m going to have to pay a fortune on getting indents or something," he said.

Prosecutors say the dentist is being investigated for medical malpractice and abusing the trust of a patient.


Bikini Sunday

Hayden Panettiere

Is that a meth lab in your pants or you....

A portable meth lab exploded in an Oklahoma man's pants Friday during a scuffle with a state trooper.

David Williams ran from a police officer who noticed a chemical smell as he was issuing a speeding ticket to the driver of the SUV that Williams was a passenger in, KOTV reported.

The officer caught up with Williams and in the ensuing struggle, an "active meth lab" he had been hiding in his pants burst, Oklahoma Highway Patrol trooper Shiloh Hall told the station.

Police closed 221st Street in Okmulgee County, about 90 miles east of Oklahoma City, to clean up the scene.