Saturday, January 12, 2013

Hey Brent Musberger I think this is what you were looking for

Funny video of a guy releasing a mouse into the wild that immediately is snatched by a hawk

This would have ended differently if the mouse had been armed.

I guess flashmobs are still in

In the midst of a brutal recession in Spain a small flashmob organized to perform and sing The Beatles' "Here Comes the Sun" in an unemployment offices in Madrid. As you can see above, the result was heartwarming.

Large woman breaks through sidewalk


A heavyset woman caved through an Upper East Side sidewalk last night — dropping six feet into a huge hole where she was eventually pulled out by emergency crews using a crane-like rescue unit, authorities said.

The 31-year-old Queens woman was huddled up against the wall of Atomic Wings at the Blue Room Grill on the corner of East 60th Street and Second Avenue, seeking shelter from the rain while waiting for a bus, when the sidewalk below her gave way around 9:15 p.m., witnesses said.

“The woman was enormous. She had to be more than 300 pounds,” said Daniel Crumity, 44, of Queens, who watched in disbelief from a window inside the Blue Room. “The ground literally fell out from underneath her.

“It happened so fast she did not scream or anything. Everybody in the bar got up to look.”


Man stabbed after sign language mistaken for gang signs

Police in North Carolina say a deaf man was stabbed several times after his sign language was mistaken for gang signs by another man.

Burlington Police Sgt. Mark Yancey said 45-year-old Terrance Ervin Daniels was using sign language with another deaf man. He said a third person saw them, thought they were flashing gang signs and stabbed Daniels with a kitchen knife. A neighbour saw the victim and called emergency personnel.

Daniels is in stable condition at UNC Hospitals in Chapel Hill after Wednesday's incident.

Police arrested 22-year Robert Jarell Neal and charged him with assault with a deadly weapon with intent to kill inflicting serious injury and felony assault on a handicapped person. He's being held in the Alamance County jail. It's not known if Neal has an attorney.


Maybe this guy shouldn't own any guns

This guy threatened to kill people if Obama tried to introduce any gun controls.  His name is Jame Yeager and he posted this video on YouTube but has since removed it.  The state of Tennessee has suspended the handgun carry permit.

He has posted a new video that attempts to explain away his earler video or at least sets some parameters for gun violence.

Clown who brawled with cop shows up in court dressed as a clown

Last November someone videoed a guy dressed as clown fighting a cop.  Well he had his day in court and it didn't go so well.  Judge was not very pleased and sent him home to change.  So do you think this guy has some issues?  Here is the link to his court appearance.

Driver crashes into restaurant then orders pizza while waiting to be rescued

A Valentino's restaurant in Lincoln, Nebraska became a drive-through when an elderly man crashed his car through the front door and then ordered a pizza on Wednesday.

The crash happened just before noon at the Valentino's Pizza near 70th and Vine streets. According to witnesses and firefighters, the driver ordered the pizza while he was waiting for emergency crews to arrive.

"We went outside and we just saw this car trying to pick up pizza I guess, but he decided to drive through the building instead of parking out front,” said witness Don Brouse.

“The gentleman said his foot had stuck on the gas and he was going to go ahead and order some pizza, so he wasn't too upset it about evidently, but it sure was a surprise to us." The driver was taken to the hospital as a precaution. No one inside the restaurant was injured.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

The next general manager of the Toronto Maple Leafs

Old men singing at a Tim Horton's

Actually this is the Oakville Chapter of the Barbershop Harmony Society who rehearse every Monday and follow it up with a coffee & donut at the Tim Horton's.

Ophthalmologist, accused of having women get naked during eye exams

Todd Gavin, an ophthalmologist who used to practice at the Mankato Clinic but now works in Madelia, allegedly gave at least two women the most thorough eye exams ever in the summer of 2010.

 As a result, he's now on trial for two counts of felony fourth-degree criminal sexual conduct and two counts of gross misdemeanor fifth-degree criminal sexual conduct. Two women contacted Mankato police in 2010 to report they had been sexually assaulted by Gavin during eye exams that May.

One woman reported she was asked to remove her clothing during an exam to see if a shingles outbreak had harmed her eyes. The second woman reported Gavin had her bare her breasts and touched them after asking if she had received annual breast exams. That woman also said Gavin touched her lower abdomen and inner thigh after asking her to remove her pants.

I understand this guy is likely a crafty sexual predator and we don't know the age of these women but still who would agree to take their clothes for an eye examination?  This guy has some nerve.  One of the women had her mother sitting in the waiting room.


Miss Congeniality guilty of participating in Stanley Cup riot

A former beauty queen whose crowning as Miss Congeniality made her one of the highest-profile suspects in Vancouver’s Stanley Cup riot has pleaded guilty, and her lawyer has suggested the woman’s international notoriety has gone far beyond what her case deserves.

Sophie Laboissonniere, who was 20 at the time of the June 2011 riot, was not in court Monday, when her lawyer entered the plea on her behalf.

The Richmond, B.C., resident was among the first batch of suspects charged after the riot. Media reports quickly identified her as the winner of Miss Congeniality at a local beauty pageant, sending her name and photo across the country and farther afield.

She was charged with one count of participating in a riot and one count of breaking and entering. She pleaded guilty to the riot charge, while the break-and-enter charge will be stayed by the Crown once she is sentenced, said her lawyer, David Baker.

The court has yet to hear what exactly Laboissonniere did as rioters torched cars, smashed windows and looted stores around her. Those details will come out at a sentencing hearing later this year, which she must attend, Baker said.


Dog mistaken for baby lion prompts 911 call

A 911 caller reported that a baby lion was walking down a street in Norfolk, Virginia, possibly looking for food. So police called the Virginia Zoo to make sure the lions were all accounted for.

Mramba, the male lion, and Zola, the female, were in their habitats. As it turns out, it was Charles the Monarch that was out and about. Neighbourhood regulars know Charles, who hangs out with his owner at Daniel Painter's business, Daniel's Lawn & Garden Center.

Charles is a cross of Labrador retriever and poodle shaved to look like the mascot of Old Dominion University. It wasn't the first time Charles had generated a police call.

Painter said police have told him several times that his dog has been mistaken for a lion. He said he's taken his dog from his Riverview home to Lafayette Park near the zoo and seen people run to their cars in shock. "I tell people he's a Lab-a-lion, and half the people believe that."

Bad goaltending led to Brian Burke's demise

There is a lot of speculation around the timing and reason for Brian Burke's firing. 

People question why now and why wasn't he fired in April.  Simple, the new owners didn't take over until August and the outgoing owners would leave those types of decisions to the new owners.  The new owners may have quickly decided that they wanted to replace Burke but several weeks into their tenure the lockout began.  There was no regular hockey business going on during the lockout so the first chance to fire Burke was this week.

Let's face it if the Leafs were winning Burke more than likely would have at least survived this season and maybe to the end of his contract.  But his record made the decision easier.

Many successful teams build their lineups from the net out.  The most successful Leaf GMs over the past 40 years were Jim Gregory, Cliff Fletcher and Pat Quinn.  They all had strong goaltending.  Gregory had Mike Palmateer, Fletcher has Grant Fuhr and Felix Potvin and Quinn had Curtis Joseph and Ed Belfour. 

Burke wasted valuable assets trading for Phil Kessel instead of stabilizing his goaltending.  A scoring winger is important but not more important than a top centre or goalie.  Burke never drafted a goalie in his four Entry Drafts as Leaf GM.  Instead he signed undrafted free agent goalies - Jonas Gustavsson, Ben Scrivens, Jussi Rynnas and Mark Owuya.  He did make two trades to help the kids namely Martin Gerber and J-S Giguere.  But I think his fatal error was going into last season without veteran goaltending.  Last season might have ended differently has he gone with more experienced goaltending.  During the offseason Burke was pursuing Roberto Luongo but it was obviously too late to hang on to his job.

Should Nonis land a top goalie that will secure his job for several seasons.  In addition, he will be able to benefit from some of the moves made by Burke. But without that goalie Nonis will not survive either.

Want to know what the NY Times thinks about no one getting in the Baseball Hall of Fame

That didn't take long, ACC takes down Burkie's Dog House

In honour of the Maple Leafs outgoing GM, one of the concessions at the ACC is called Burkie's Dog House selling exotic hot dogs and inflated prices - until yesterday.

Raptor fans discovered the dogs were still being sold but the signage was gone. I guess the marketing people are scrambling to get some artwork with Dave Nonis' image.


Jimmy Kimmel has celebrities read mean tweets about themselves

Wednesday, January 09, 2013

Maple Leafs looking for a new Messiah, line starts to the left

The Brian Burke has come to a merciful end it appears.  Over his tenure, the Leafs went 129-135-42 with no playoff appearances. He came here with high expectations and had a lot to say about how to build a winner.  Yet, after 4 years there appears to be no real rebuilding plan.  The core of the team will never be strong enough to contend.  Every single player on the roster is his player. To make matters worse he seemed to battle everyone including the media.

He defied logic at times.  He would pass on the top free agents because he didn't believe in circumventing the CBA while everyone else was doing it.  He lived by a code of conduct that no one else followed.  He made some good trades but the Phil Kessel deal, his signature move was really his downfall. 

There still people who are around that believe Burke was on the right track.  I am not one of those. Not sure why he was fired but I wouldn't be surprised if there was some difference he had with the new ownership.  It was so sudden and messy. Burke had just hired a new coach and managers like to bring in their own coaches. 

So it looks like we will be heading into another rebuild.  But the next guy might not be in too bad of shape.  If the Leafs are as bad as they say they will have a top 5 draft pick again.  The Leafs have a lot of expiring contracts which will help in a rebuild.

UPDATE:  Well it's good thing Burke left an entire management team including his replacement Dave Nonis.  Not much came out in the press conference other than a single message - Burke was let go because of his leadership style.  The only thing you can interpret is that he did not see eye to eye with the new Board.  We will not know what issues they clashed on.  Though if the Leafs were winning it wouldn't matter.

Man attempts suicide twice on way to work, still makes it to work

State police say a man twice tried to kill himself on Interstate 79 in southwestern Pennsylvania before going to work.

He first tried to end his life by jumping out of a moving vehicle that was driving him to work in Canonsburg, about 15 miles south of Pittsburgh. That happened about 7:45 a.m. Tuesday.

About a half hour later, police say the man stepped over a guide rail into the path of a tractor-trailer which tried to avoid the man but knocked him out of his shoes.

Troopers from the Washington barracks say the man jumped up, grabbed his shoes, slid down a hillside and walked to work. He was since been flown to a Pittsburgh hospital.


Guy leaves server a note protesting tax policy instead of a tip

This jerk takes being obnoxious to a new level.  His alledged cut back in discretionary spending is targeting restaurant servers.  He can afford to go out to eat and enjoy good service but not going to pay the latter. But that's no different than not paying a fair share in taxes.


Hump day hottie

Mika Kelly

Tuesday, January 08, 2013

Premature ejaculation in Florida can lead to a beating

premature ejaculation causes

Deputies in Manatee County, Florida, were called to a private residence in Bradenton yesterday to intervene in a domestic dispute resulting from a case of premature ejaculation.  According to a report filed by the Manatee County Sheriff's Office, 30-year-old Esric Davis and his live-in girlfriend, 24-year-old Raquel Gonzalez, were engaged in sexual intercourse when "[Davis] climaxed and Raquel did not."  source

Then it happened again when a Florida woman was jailed on a battery rap for allegedly striking her boyfriend after he “finished first and stopped pleasuring her” during a mutual oral sex session late last night in the victim’s home, police report.

Jennie Scott, 50, was booked into the Manatee County lockup on a misdemeanor charge stemming from the 11 PM encounter in the Palmetto bedroom of Jilberto Deleon, 32. Scott has dated Deleon “for the last 5 years on and off,” according to a sheriff’s report.

Deputies were summoned to Deleon’s home by a witness who heard the couple arguing and saw Scott (seen at right) atop Deleon “punching and scratching him.” She also allegedly struck Deleon with a stick and threatened to hit him with a wrench before the tool was taken from her hand by the witness.  source

No question, you better not be pulling out early in Florida because you might end up with quite the beating.  So don't be selfish guys!

Man threatening to shoot himself is shot by officers

Police shot a man Saturday after he threatened to take his own life.

According to police, officers responded to a home in the 15000 block of West Aster Drive just before noon after receiving word that a man was threatening to kill himself.  Police arrived to find Joel Byne, 52, holding a rifle to his head.

Byne also made comments to police that he was going to get them to shoot him, according to police spokesman Sgt. Mike Donovan.  Officers negotiated with Byne for a period of time and then attempted to use a less lethal device to stop him from hurting himself or others.  As less lethal rounds were fired at Byne, he pointed the rifle he was holding at officers, according to Donovan. Byne was then shot by police.


Let's face it the Maple Leafs will be a bust again this season

I'm excited about the return of hockey but let's face it the Maple Leafs will suck again.  Seriously everything seems to be working against them.  They are essentially going with the same lineup as last season and as GM Brian Burke accurately described the season, it was like a bus going off a cliff.  Jay McClement and James van Riemsdyk have been the only additions and that's just not enough. So lets take a look at whats wrong with the Leafs.

Different season, same problem.  Last year the Leafs started the season with goalies with combined NHL experience of barely 100 games.  This season the goaltending roster has only 85 games experience.  Seems like a step backwards almost.  With great goaltending your defense looks better, your penalty killing is better and your coach looks like a genius. At his press conference yesterday, Coach Randy Carlyle said the team had NHL calibre goaltending.  So what else is he supposed to say?  Sure Carlyle would love to have Roberto Luongo but don't count on it.  Luongo doesn't want to come to Toronto and the compensation isn't to Vancouver's liking. With a short season, Vancouver is likely going with their current goalies and take another run at the Cup.  Luongo is a pretty good insurance policy and he can be moved next summer. 

First Line Centre
Like starting goaltending, the Leafs still have a gaping hole at centre.  So like last season we will be seeing Tim Connolly and Tyler Bozak competing for the right to skate with Phil Kessel and Joffrey Lupul.   The media has speculated on van Riemsdyk moving to centre.  Carlyle poured cold water on that idea yesterday.  He will be playing wing on the second line. He won't be seeing first line work because Carlyle isn't eager to break up Kessel and Lupul.  Carlyle is right.  JVR hasn't played centre since Junior hockey.  There is no way that a week of camp is going to make him comfortable playing a new position on a new team.

Fast/Slow Start?
No question a fast start could give the Leafs a big boost in landing a playoff spot.  A poor start will mean nine seasons without seeing any post season hockey.  Which is more likely?  I think a slow start.  Unlike other teams, the Leafs only had 3 players playing hockey in Europe.  Seems some Leafs spent most of the lockout on Twitter. That means most of the team hasn't season any game action since last April. It's going to take this time a few weeks to find their game legs and that might be too late for this crew.  As well, Carlyle is determined to introduce a new defensive system to one of the worst defensive teams in the league.  It's going to take more than a one-week camp to get everyone comfortable with the new system.  Finally, the Leafs defense will be short 3 players from last season - Luke Schenn (with the Flyers), Cody Franson (in Europe and reluctant to return after spending much of last season in the pressbox) and Jake Gardner (out indefinitely with a concussion). Sure there are candidates to replace them including Morgan Reilly, Korbinian Holzer and Mike Kosta but these guys have no NHL experience.

So what's the game plan for the Leafs?  Well it looks like another rebuild.  This team looks like it is prime to tank.  They will be playing 18 out of 48 games against division rivals and they were terrible against them last season.  Who can forget how the Bruins crushed them game after game. 

So next year they will be in a good position for another great draft pick in a year where the draft will be very deep.  They get a lot of cap space freed up - $22 million.  They can add to that by buying out the last year of Mike Komisarek's contract.  This allows the GM to try to pull together another bunch of core players.  Let's face it a core of Phil Kessel and Dion Phaneuf will never challenge for Stanley Cup.  Now I wouldn't entrust another rebuild to Burke.  He had a shot and failed.  Every player on this roster is his pick.  But don't expect Burke to be going anywhere even it the Leafs miss the playoffs.  I expect new ownership to give the Leaf GM and Chief Mouthpiece to talk his way into a contract extension.

Be patient hockey fans.

Best of Craigslist

I farted on every single one of my employees. All 37 of them.


So, I just need to tell the world because I am so happy that I have finally accomplished something that has been 3 months in the making.
I farted on every single one of my 37 employees.
The initial fart began on January 21st, 2008 while I was expediting at my somewhat famous restaurant in the meatpacking district.
Lets just say, I am a chef, I dont know if I would call myself world famous, but I am definitely known in and around NYC.
I have had several specials on foodnetwork.
You probably know me if you like food and eating in manhattan.

That said, lets get back to the first fart, the maiden fart, the perfect fart.

It was hot as hell in the kitchen that night, sometimes I like to turn off the air conditioning to give my staff a bit of a stir, it makes their blood flow, their tempers flash, but for some reason, their discomfort turns out better quality food.

So with all the air off, there is no air flow in our downstairs kitchen, and its small and cramped and really really fucking hot, even in january.

We have our plates in the warmer under our pass, so i was helping my hot apps guy plate a new fungi misti when it happened.

He had the pan in his right hand, and we both reached to bend over to get the hot plate, i got there first, so he inhaled the entire hot air load that i let roar out of my pants.

It was bold, loud, and completely unapologetic.

I was louder though, laughing so fucking hard at his coughing and gagging that i almost lost the granddaddy, the origin of the fart, the poop.

This actually did happen on fart employee #19, but we will get back to that.

So with this began my mission.

I had to fart on everyone that works for me, and write it all in a log book so that I can keep track.

Some people I couldn't just directly fart on, like my accountant, shes a sweet girl, and I think she might feel that I have accosted her or something, department of labor could be called, etc.., so much care has to be taken with these types of cases.

1. The only rules I had were this: I had to fart on everyone, I mean including my bread guy, my pasta guy, all our dishwashers, my sous chef, etc...

2. They had to either hear, smell or be somehow aware that I have farted on them. This is where it gets tricky.

3. I have to do it in order of name, alphabetically, and I cant skip people and come back.

4. At least 80% had to make a comment or some type of revolting behavior afterward, and if they didnt, I had to do them again and again, the same person, until they finally surrendered to the demon that is my fart.

This was easy with the line cooks and basic kitchen staff, as they are used to this kind of shit, the front of the house however, are like a bunch of fucking statues scared to move.

My farts on them where secretly my most favorite, because I think it took them out of whatever musical they thought they were living in, and made them alive, made them smell, made them want to throw up for a valid reason.

I think all farts should have a color assigned to them, because you know when that one fart comes out and lingers in the air and wont leave, I mean its obvious that is a green fart. Everyone should know this by now, its even documented in cartoons.

A red fart is a spicy one, probably incurred by some type of spicy ethnic food with a great amount of chilis and onions.

A yellow fart, well these are worse on the farter, than they are on the fartee.

These are sick farts, the ones that are on the verge of being sharts. Just imagine the fart that comes after downing like gallon of vodka, eating like 5 gyros on st. marks, then bagging a hooker named natasha, who acts like she is from russia, but you know just know she fucking grew up in Hackensack.

This is never good, especially in the kitchen, so if I think I have a yellow in tow, I clamp my hole shut and run to the nearest bathroom to unleash the fury.

Unless, of course I am at home, then what the hell, I let it rip and see what happens. New underwear are only like 5 feet away, so lets see what happens, life is a journey.

I think I will post the story of every single persons very own and original fart on here every night for 37 nights. Some are really good ones, some are just farts, but I will let you be the judge.

And maybe by the end some of you will know who i am, and if you ever do figure it out, come to my restaurant and tell the bartender this: "Mr. Bojangles and his two sidewinders sent me", he will give you a free drink, and a laugh.

Check u tomorrow for EF#2.

Couple buys Detroit home for $500 except it gets demolished accidently

Kristine Diven thought she had her dream house.

For $500 at a tax auction in October, she and fellow artist Micho "Detronik" McAdow bought an empty two-story home on Detroit's east side. Thrilled with its crown molding, hardwood floors and fireplace mantels adorned with Pewabic tile, the pair planned to fix it up and move in by spring.

As a first step, Diven, 36, prepared to board up the Morningside neighborhood house to protect it against vandals and wintertime damage. But when she and McAdow drove down Beaconsfield Street one evening in December, their new house was gone.

"Instead of taking measurements for the boards we needed, we found our house in a pile," she said.

The structure had been demolished — mistakenly — by the state's Land Bank Fast Track Authority as part of a program to eliminate blight near three east-side schools.

At least 11 other properties, purchased by a local investor, also were demolished by mistake, said Karla Henderson, director of the city's planning and facilities department.


Wife reports husband to police because he stopped having sex

A 53-year-old woman was arrested late Sunday on suspicion of threatening to kill her husband after she told police that they “stopped having sex,” according to a court document.

At about 11:12 p.m., Gloria Pratt reportedly called police on her husband of two years at their home in because she said she was upset, according to police.

Upon arriving, officers observed that Pratt was intoxicated, was told about the no-sex and determined that no crime had been committed by either Pratt or her husband, police said.  Police said they wished them luck and left the home, according to a court document.

The document states that about one minute later, officers saw Pratt through a living room window of their home yelling at her husband to “do something” while he was laying on a couch, according to police.  She then reportedly yelled, “I’m going to kill you,” before walking toward the kitchen, according to a court document.

The officers knocked on the front door and detained Pratt at about 11:32 p.m., police said.  She was arrested and booked into the Fourth Avenue Jail on suspicion of disorderly conduct-domestic violence and threats-domestic violence, according to a court document.

 Hey I know every guy is asking whats wrong with this guy?  Who turns down sex?  Did you ever think he was getting more than enough sex outside of the home?


'Drivin drunk' Facebook post gets teen booked into jail

Some things just aren't meant to be shared –  not even on Facebook and especially not when you have 655 – ahem –"friends."

That's the New Year's lesson for Jacob Cox-Brown, 18, who wound up in Clatsop County Jail after posting a message on Facebook, complete with emoticons, admitting he'd been driving drunk and apologizing for hitting someone's car.

Astoria police were already investigating a hit and run on Fifth Street involving a Scion that received significant damage after being sideswiped, police said. A second car was also damaged.

That call came in at about 1 a.m. New Year's day.

Later that day, an Astoria officer got a phone call from someone who wanted to share Cox-Brown's message, which read: "Drivin drunk ... classic ;) but to whoever's vehicle i hit i am sorry. :P"
A second "friend" also called police. At Cox-Brown's Astoria home, police found a vehicle with damage consistent to the damage done to the two vehicles involved in the early morning hit and run, police said.

They also found pieces belonging to Cox-Brown's vehicle left behind at the scene of the crash. He was arrested and taken to the Clatsop County Jail where he was accused of two counts of failing to perform the duties of a driver.


Monday, January 07, 2013

Elderly couple takes wrong car home from grocery store

The Ontario Police Department says a couple in their 70s, took home the wrong car after grocery shopping.

Police say on December 30, just before 6:00 p.m., an 84-year old woman parked her Oldsmobile Cutlass at the Red Apple grocery store and left the keys inside the car as she went grocery shopping.

According to police, while the woman was in the store, a couple in their 70s mistakenly got inside the Cutlass and drove it home. When the owner of the Cutlass came out of the store, she discovered her car was gone, so she called Ontario Police and reported it stolen.

Then on January 3rd, employees at the Red Apple called police to report an abandoned LeBaron in their parking lot. When police got on scene, they ran the license plate on the LeBaron and found out it belonged to the couple who had driven the Cutlass home.

When police called the couple to ask why their car was at the Red Apple, they said it was not theirs and that their car was in their driveway.

However, when the police arrived at the couple's home, they realized what had happened, the couple took the Cutlass by mistake.


Teen drugged her parents' milkshakes to access internet curfew

A Rocklin teen who was upset that her parents wouldn’t let her access the Internet after 10 p.m. drugged their milkshakes with sleeping medicine, according to police.

The teen secretly put a friend’s prescription sleep medicine in her parents’ milkshakes on Dec. 28.
The parents found it a bit odd when their daughter offered to buy milkshakes. Dad wanted chocolate. Mom asked for vanilla. They noticed their milkshakes tasted odd and only consumed about a quarter of them, but it was enough to put them to sleep, Milka said.

“They had a crunchy texture, bad taste in their mouth,” Milka said. “Subsequently, they fell asleep.”

They didn’t awake until the next morning and didn’t remember exactly what happened but suspected something was up and took a drug test, police said.  By drugging her parents, the teen and her friend were free to use the home Internet while they were passed out asleep, police said.

However, the girl’s mother says this isn’t the first time the teen drugged them. It was the second time she felt that way. So she started checking into her daughter’s internet and phone use. When she confronted her daughter, she says, the teen admitted to the drugging, claiming she was too strict.


Lightning blows the tits off a Venus de Milo statue

A lightning strike at Serpentine Gorge in Australia's Northern Territory has ‘‘blown the tits’’ off one man’s iconic tribute to Territory women. Literally.

Stonemasonry boss Tom Finlay, 48, was standing 50m from his voluptuous handcarved Venus de Milo when a flash of white light and an ‘‘almighty kaboom’’ sent stone flying through the air.

Mr Finlay said he was amazed her 30kg breasts had survived the phenomenon. ‘‘There was a clap of thunder and the sculpture blew up like a rocket-launcher had hit it,’’ he said.

‘‘The lightning looked like a serpent. Everything disintegrated but the breasts - all that’s left is what’s under her hips,’’ he added.

Sunday, January 06, 2013

By the way this is what we've been missing during the lockout

A dazzling goal by Pavel Datsyuk during a shootout.  Every see someone take a forehand shot from behind their back?

Welcome back hockey but will the American fans return?

 NHL lockout ends with deal

The Canadian fans grumbled throughout the lockout but it was obvious they weren't going to abandon their national game.  Why else would they be following hour by hour updates on CBA negotiations.  James Myrtle of Globe contacted the Canadian teams to find out how many season subscribers cancelled during the lockout.  Not many, for example in Toronto just one, in Montreal all of eight.  Some how I can't believe that will be the case in Columbus, Florida, Phoenix and Anaheim.

So was the lockout really work it?  What did the owners gain?

Revenue Split
Reducing the players' share of hockey revenue to 50% from 57% transfers about $230 million to the owners in year 1.  Over a 10-year agreement that could add up to $3 billion. That's a huge win.

Salary Cap
Dropping the cap from $70.2 million in 2012-13 to $64.3 million in 2013-14 means the league GMs have $175 million less to spend on salaries. Since most teams operate near the cap this is a real savings not just a theoretical one.  The owners wanted a lower cap but gave in to the players.  It's still a significant gain.  Teams get two compliance buyouts next summer to get down to the lower cap which means Montreal will finally be able to unload Scott Gomez.

Contract Limits
The players agreed to contract limits of 7 years for free agents and 8 years if a player resigns with their existing team.  I don't see this as a significant win for the owners.  They were looking for 5 year limits originally.  Currently out of 750 players only 18 have deals longer than 8 years.  This is an issue that only impacts on the game's biggest stars and has always come with big risks (Rick DiPietro).  More significant is the limit on salary variance within a contract. As well the lowest year can only be 50% of the highest year.  Front end loaded contracts was the biggest source of cap circumvention and gave some teams up to several more million dollars to spend each year.  Still the number of instances was also small and the impact is not significant.

I guess the question is did it really have to take this long to come up with these changes?  I guess the answer is yes.  I bet the owners thought the players would be sorry desperate to avoid another prolonged lockout that they would fold early on.  That didn't happen.  Players solidarity along with frustrating negotiation partner in Donald Fehr forced the owners to drop demands at the end because they were not worth losing a season over.  So in fact the players did better than expected because they really don't h ave much leverage.

So hopefully we hear less about the business of hockey and more about playing hockey.  Let the season begin!

Bikini Sunday

Maryna Linchuk